Page 25 of Dubious Secrets

“Nothing to say?”

My body tenses and I look up at her. “I don’t think there’s anything to say that will help.”

Mary rolls her eyes. “An apology to start? Are you even sorry?”

My attention slides to Ryker as he glances at me over his shoulder. Am I sorry? Kind of.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” I say meekly, because that’s true. I never want to hurt her, my sister is everything. But…I want this baby, and I want this baby with Ryker. And I think he wants us too, which will hurt her even more.

“Let’s take a moment to breathe. Can we talk?” Ryker says, waving Mary toward the room.

My sister stares at me for a moment longer and moves to walk out before pausing.

“You know the worst part, Stassie?”

“Mary,” Ryker says hesitantly.

My shoulders stiffen, knowing whatever she’s going to say is going to tear me to shreds.

“Mom warned me that you would do this. That there hasn’t been anything of mine you haven’t wanted for yourself.”

Chapter 11

Ryker

I followMary into our bedroom, and she storms to the closet, pulling out her second suitcase. The one she has packed from her traveling contracts sits at the end of the bed, still zipped up.

“Can you just wait a second? And give us time to talk.”

Mary turns to stare at me, a resigned deadness in her eyes that has my stomach clenching. “Talk about what? Obviously you two are keeping the baby.”

I nod. “Yes, but we’d still like?—”

“And what? It would just stay in Stassie’s room, and you just trade off which one you’re sleeping in when you feel like it? How was this going to work in your head?”

I bite back my annoyance at her condescending tone and shrug. “We haven’t thought that far yet.”

“Of course not because you’re too busy fucking each other,” Mary spits out. She huffs out an unamused laugh and goes back to pulling out some of her clothes before facing me again. “Seriously, what the fuck do you guys want from me? How longwere you two going to keep having an affair and just let me keep living without a clue about it?”

“We were going to tell you when you got back. Stassie is afraid to lose you and she needs you, especially now?—”

Mary groans, rubbing her hands down her face. “I don’t fucking care what Stassie wants or needs.”

My mouth snaps shut as we stare at each other. Tears prickle in her eyes and her shoulders rise before falling.

“That’s it? Nothing else to say? What about you, Ryker? Are you afraid of losing me? Do you need me?”

The crack in her voice hurts because I know she's in pain, and there’s nothing I can say to make her feel better, so I stay silent. After a few moments, Mary nods and sits down on the corner of the bed.

“You’re in love with her, aren’t you? In a way you never were with me?” Mary asks, the sadness in her voice causing a shudder down my spine.

I move to sit next to her, but keep space between us.

“I love you both differently,” I admit in a whisper, my throat aching with emotion. It’s not the answer she wants, but I barely understand it myself. I do love Mary, and I love the time we’ve spent together. But after being with Stassie, I think my relationship with Mary became more about not starting over. A contentment that I didn’t want to disrupt because it was easy. With Stassie, I like that she needs me. I like that she brings out parts of me I hadn’t dared to explore before.

“But if I made you choose?”

“I’d choose them.” There’s no doubt in my tone, and she shudders before standing. Mary wipes at her nose and looks around the room sadly. Her eyes meet mine and she shrugs.

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