Page 33 of Salacious Star

Xander

The library was quiet, almost deathly so, when I slipped inside, my eyes immediately searching for my brother. The uncomfortable arousal and longing that still flooded every inch of my body made it imperative that I find him right away, because I was freaking thefuckout.

I hadn't been able to get Tristan off my mind ever since the phone call that we'd had when our video went live, but he hadn't reached out to me after that, and admittedly, I had managed to get all in my head about it. It was something I was very good at, and right now was no exception.

Fortunately for me, Ethan was as much of a people person as he was shy - make it make sense, I certainly couldn't even after all these years of being his literal twin - and I immediately saw him at the front desk of the library, talking with an elderly patron while he scanned in a stack of books that she had brought him. His expression was animated as he spoke to her, and I couldn't stop myself from snorting at the smitten expression that was on this woman's face.

Barking up the wrong tree, lady, I thought, tucking my hands into my pockets and settling in to wait. Now that I could see my brother, some of the anxiety that I had been harboring seemed to fade, and once he was done dealing with his patron, Ethan's attention turned to me, and his eyes widened.

"Xander, hey." He smiled at me, hurrying over and looking me up and down. He was wearing a neat pair of slacks and a dark green button down today, a change of pace from his usual polos and jeans. "Did we...I mean, we didn't make plans and I just totally forgot, did we?"

The slight trepidation on his face made me feel a little bad, and I shook my head, tucking my hands into my pockets."No, you're good," I assured him. Because yes, I was a bad person who had lied about meeting up with my brother for lunch to get away from Tristan when I couldn't handle my own fucking feelings. Sue me.

Ethan's shoulders visibly relaxed, and he jerked his head towards the office in the corner. "Come on."

I followed him over to the tiny, cramped little office and leaned against one of the dozen filing cabinets that lined the walls, and Ethan made sure the door was shut completely before he turned on his heel to look at me, planting his hands on his hips. "Okay, spill," he said, arching an eyebrow at me.

"Spill?" I affected a nonchalant air as I tucked my hands into my pockets. Now that I was alone with my brother, the panic that had driven me here in the first place seemed silly, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about it.

Ethan rolled his eyes, perching on the edge of the desk. "I can count on one hand the number of times that you've come to visit me at the library in all the years that I've worked here," he informed me. "It's four, including today. Two of the three other times were because you were freaking out over something, so the odds are not in your favor for being calm right now."

"Fucking rude," I countered, folding my arms over my chest. "I could have come here because I wanted to see you."

He raised his eyebrows at me again, and despite the fact that I the older of the two of us - by five minutes, butstill- he still managed to make me feel chastised, like our mother when she caught me sneaking back into my room after the first night that I'd fooled around with my high school boyfriend.

"Okay, fine," I conceded, looking away.

Seconds passed, nearly thirty of them, before he made a soft sound. "Okay, so...?"

"So...Tristan and I did the first shoot," I mumbled, my cheeks burning. "And it went really well."

"I figured, from the number of views on that video," Ethan said dryly.

My head snapped up to look at him, my eyes widening. "You didn't..."

He made a face. "God, no. Fuck. But the number of views is public on the main page, Xan. I didn't have watch you being fucked to know that people liked it."

My cheeks burned hotter. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was the top?" I pointed out, cutting a glare at my twin.

He grimaced. "I try not to think of the ways that you like to fuck, Xan," he said, shaking his head.

He sounded so affronted that for a moment, I was tempted to continue poking at him. That wasn't what I was here for, though.

"Well,anyway. Afterwards...he helped clean me up, and then he checked in on me a few times the past few days." My cheeks burned at the memory of what we had done when the video went live, and neatly skipped pastthatparticular even in my retelling to my twin. We were close, but I wasn't going to shareeverythingwith him.

Ethan's expression softened, and I swore he had literal heart eyes. "That's really nice," he said, smiling. "He wanted to take care of you. He seemed like a good guy when I met him, I'm not surprised."

I squirmed a little at Ethan's assessment, and when I didn't say anything again for a few minutes, Ethan sighed. "Come on, Xan. I have to get back to work. What's got you all twisted up?"

"I like him!" I blurted out, the words falling out of my mouth with hardly any warning.

"Oooookay..." Ethan drew out the word, cocking his head to the side. "I should hope you like him if you have to fuck him?"

I shook my head. He wasn't getting it. "No, I mean...Ilikehim.Likelike him."

Ethan snorted. "You like like him? God, how old are you?"

"Five minutes older than you, thank you very much," I shot back, the familiar banter soothing something inside of me even as I was wound tight. "But...E, really. This is a fucking problem. I don't just want to fuck him."

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