Page 45 of Salacious Star

I just...didn't think. About how nice it would be to have him in my house with me,watchingme.

I was a solitary creature. Even before my work-induced run of emotional celibacy, I rarely brought guys back to myhouse. We never got to the kind of trust that we needed for me to ask them to be in my space.

But with Xander, it was easy. It was so fucking easy, and it didn't even matter that we barely talked. Chatted about the weather a little, about my neighborhood. I snorted when Xander mentioned offhand that he hoped that the house at the end of the street was abandoned, because it "wasn't fit for the kittens that he found under the porch when he was thirteen."

Thankfully, the housewasabandoned, condemned by the city and waiting for demolition. Xander snickered when I informed him as such, his *color* eyes fond as he looked at me, his chin propped up in the palm of one hand.

When the ziti was done baking, though, and we sat down at my little dining table with heaped plates, the atmosphere between the two of us changed again.

"So..." Xander stabbed at a noodle with his fork, twirling it around in the sauce before he forked it into his mouth. His eyes popped open, and then he let out a soft moan as he chewed, whatever he'd been planning on saying clearly fading from his mind.

I couldn't stop myself from smirking; I wasn't a chef by any stretch of the imagination, but I did pasta and red sauce well. I'd pulled out all the stops for Xan.

"Holy fuck, that's fantastic." Xander's eyes open and he grinned at me, taking another bite and letting out another happy sound that my cock didnotunderstand was not for him.

"I'm glad you like it." I took a bite myself, then prompted, "What were you going to say?"

He blinked, his brows pulling together with confusion for a moment before his eyes cleared and he nodded. "Right. Um." His cheeks pinked a little, a reaction that I found stupidly endearing. "Well...I guess I just wanted to ask. Why...um..."

He gestured between the two of us with his fork, and it took a moment before I understood, but then I chuckled. "Why I asked you out?"

He nodded, stabbing at his pasta some more and shoveling a bite in his mouth. Probably to keep himself from saying something that he thought was stupid.

Fuck, he's so cute.

"Because I like you," I said simply, setting my fork down. I wanted to give this my full attention; Xander had asked an important question. "I like you a lot. I think you're fucking gorgeous and sexy as sin, but...I think you're funny, too. I like the way your nose wrinkles when you're embarrassed. I like that you and your twin brother are close, and that you know that you can call me for help if you need it.Anykind of help."

I couldn't stop myself from winking, and his cheeks pinked even further as he swallowed. "I like you too," he finally said, his voice low and husky. "I just..."

I reached forward and lay my finger on his mouth, biting down a near-feral sound at the feeling of his soft lips under my finger. "I get it," I assured him. "Really, I do. Ask any of the guys around the studio, and they'll tell you that I'm the king of Emotionally Unavailable. You're the first person that I've brought back to my house in a really fucking long time." I lowered my finger, and his eyes were huge as I finished, "You're special, Xan. I want to see what we have.Ifwe have anything."

I placed emphasis on the word 'if' because I wanted him to know that no matter what, there was never any pressure from me. He was free to stand up and walk out of my house right here and now if he wanted to, and we would still be able to go forward at work as coworkers and friends, even if my heart would be a little crushed from his rejection.

Not enough to tell Cole that I couldn't work with him anymore, of course. I didn't have that much self respect.

Thankfully, Xander's expression softened, and he nodded. "I think we do," he said quietly, looking up at me with so much vulnerability in his eyes.

I swallowed, and reached out to gently touch his wrist. "I do too," I said, injecting every bit of sincerity that I felt. "Let's see what it's about?"

He nodded, I let out a heavy sigh as I picked up my fork, and the conversation turned to lighter subjects.

We talked about high school crushes and college picks, stupid jobs that we'd hated and wanted to quit right away, his brother and the relationship he had with his parents. Mine were too far away for us to be especially close, so I didn't have much to contribute to that conversation, but I loved seeing the way that his entire demeanor relaxed a little when he spoke about his brother and the rest of his family. They were clearly close, though I'd already picked up on that.

We talked about ex-boyfriends, and Xan thankfully didn't ask many questions about my sparse history there, as well. He told me about a prank battle that he and Ethan had gotten into the summer before they both went off to college, and the time that he'd nearly spent a night in jail because he'd been flirting a little too aggressively with a cop who was checking on the bar's liquor license and he had forgotten his ID at home.

Conversation with Xander...it just flowed. It was easy as fuck to sink into the topic and listen to him wax eloquent. He had an opinion abouteverything, and given that I found myself pretty apathetic about most things, no matter what they were...Xander's enthusiasm for life was refreshing.

I wanted it around all the fucking time.

By the time we finished eating dinner, I knew that the polite thing would be for me to tell him that I had a great time and that I wanted to do this again. I could walk him to the doorand offer him a very sweet and polite smile on his lips, a peck really, and then text him to make sure that he went home safe.

That would be thepolitething to do.

But I didn't want him to leave, not yet. It felt like he was settling in, the longer he was around, and I wanted to relish that feeling for as long as he would let me.

So instead of telling him that we should be wrapping things up, I asked, my voice raspy, "Do you have anywhere that you need to be for the rest of the night?"

Xander's eyes darkened a little as he looked at me, his tongue swiping out along his lower lip to wet it before he shoot his head. "I'm all yours," he said, his voice equally rough.

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