Page 80 of Heat of Justice

Kim did not let herself debate or hesitate. Though she hated cold showers with a vengeance, she forced herself to stand under the jet of freezing water for a full minute. Enduring. Re-focusing. She kept her breathing under control as the cold penetrated deep into her bones and jolted her back into her body. Forcingher to be present. Here, now, physically. Not lost in her imagination, a dream, or spirit. Once done with that, she dressed quickly and joined her partner in the kitchen. The scent of good, rich coffee and fresh toast was in the air. She inhaled. Let it out nice and slow.Okay… Okay, fine.

“Feeling better?” Cody prompted.

She stood next to the window in running shorts and a black Lewiston P.D. sweatshirt. Her blue eyes shone brightly in her slender face, and her tousled blond hair was illuminated by a ray of early-morning sunshine. She looked strong and grounded. Also, just like an angel again, Kim reflected.

“I’m good.” She walked to her, took her face in both hands and kissed her. Slow and firm, anchoring herself a bit more into solid reality. “Even better now.”

“Good to hear.” Cody lingered, studying her face. “So. Tell me about the nightmares?”

“Ah. Yeah, sure.” Kim picked up her cup of coffee. Leaning a hip against the kitchen counter, she considered. “There’s not really much to tell, to be honest. It’s all very vague. Just feelings. Emotions. Layers and impressions. Not actual events I could describe.”

“How long has it been going on?”

“A week and a bit.”

“Mm.” The frown on Cody’s face said she should have told her earlier.

“It’s nothing,” Kim assured her again. “Usually, I just wake myself up, realize a dream has been going on, turn over, and go right back to sleep.”

“Usually. But today, you woke up screaming.”

“Yes... Sorry about that.” Without thinking, Kim raised a single shoulder, both in reluctance and a touch of involuntary dismissal as well.

She stared into her steaming coffee. Wondered. Could this be a prelude to another vision? About Cody?My God. I hope not!Looking up, she noticed the corner of Cody’s mouth twitch as if she were trying to suppress a smile.

“What?” she prompted.

“Nothing,” came the teasing, if slightly defiant, answer.

Okay. I probably deserve that. Though Cody was smiling, Kim was not so sure herself. She was not amused, and her heart also tightened at the notion of what her lover may be thinking. Kim knew for sure that she would hate it if the roles were reversed

“Look, Cody, I’m not holding back on you, okay?” she told her intently. “Please, believe me.”

“I believe you. No question.”

“Okay. Then… What? You’re looking at me funny.”

“Am I? “Well. I don’t think you realize the effect you have on me,” Cody answered with a soft chuckle. Again, she looked a little sheepish as she went on. “Sometimes, I look at you in the middle of a conversation, and it just makes me want to smile. Even with a serious topic, like right now, I take one look at you, and boom…” Her eyes flashed with emotion. “I am in love with you, Kim. Helplessly, you might say. So I get a little lost in the feeling sometimes.”

Kim bit on her lip. Okay.Wow.She had not unexpected this. The admission was so beautifully honest and loaded with gorgeous vulnerability. For a moment, it left her totally speechless, and her mind blank. Then she stepped forward and pulled her lover into a tight embrace.

“I love your soul. Cody… I don’t deserve you.”

“Now that’s bullshit.” Cody answered fiercely and held her just the same. “Listen, Kim; you need to stop apologizing about this stuff as if I’m not supposed to be involved. I want to be! Don’t you get it?”

“Okay…” Kim chuckled, deeply touched. “Okay. Yes.”

“I don’t care if you wake me up in the middle of the night. Don’t care if it’s because of a dream, a vision, some craving for McDonalds, or whatever. I’m here for you. If you’re not okay, I want to know.”

“Well, I’m okay, I just—"

“Babe.” Cody shifted to meet her eyes. Hers held a definite warning. “Stop.”

Her barriers well and truly demolished, Kim gave a small sigh. Then, as Cody enfolded her even more tightly, she stopped fighting and allowed herself to rest in her arms. Love, support, and total acceptance. This is what she was being offered here. It had to be the greatest gift… And in return, she would give her full honesty.

“The last few weeks have been intense,” she admitted. “You know, with… The case.”

“Yes.” Cody nodded, understanding perfectly that she did not want to say Cassie Winters’ name out loud. “It’s been rough on you.”

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