Page 68 of A Midlife Marriage

With a taxi already booked to take her home, it hadn’t been a response either Helen or Kay had anticipated. And, as she sat next to Helen in the gloomy reception room, waiting for Lizzie to arrive, Kay glanced across once more to where Caro sat, her bouquet taking the adjacent empty chair. Exactly as she did, Caro looked up and smiled, a faint but definite message,It’s OK. I’m alright, that Kay felt sure she was reading correctly. Shesmiled back. It still felt wrong. A wedding called off at the last moment was a dramatic event, that called for dramatic emotion. Caro was acting as if nothing about the morning was particularly surprising or unexpected, as if she’d known the ending all along. And again, she remembered Helen’s reaction. She lowered her chin, and without moving her mouth, said, ‘Did something happen?’

Helen rubbed at her nose. ‘Sort of.’

‘Sort of?’

‘I can’t go into it now, but …’ Helen paused. ‘I’m not sure this is a bad thing.’

‘OK.’ Kay nodded. As far as she had known Tomasz was a good thing for Caro, but if there were to all take their cue from the leading lady (and what else was there to do), she had to agree with Helen: this was not a tragedy. Shifting her weight, she looked down at her feet. The bright red bulge of the blister already showing. She glanced at Helen’s feet, encased in their liner socks and comparing them with her own made a silent promise.I will spend time seeking and finding all the pleasurable and comfortable things in life. Liner socks to start, because I’m going to need a jumbo pack of them in Cyprus, because I am going.

It felt like the day for such promises. It felt like the place. Here, where in so many vaulted rooms aldermen and women had debated, voted, decided, it was time that she, Kay Burrell made good and decided too. Courage. That was all that was needed to change a life. The courage to choose. And now she was thinking about the afternoon her father had told her. The way in which he had fiddled on with his handkerchief. So loud had her hurt and anger been, she hadn’t considered his feelings. It must have been excruciating for him. He would have wrestled for days, with the dilemma of how to break it to her. Filling her lungs, her eyes smarted as she looked through the open frontdoor and out to the August morning beyond. Even Martin, with his VW, had tangible plans. And all this was courage. Everyone around her displaying the quality she had been so praised for during the worst days of her treatment.So brave, Kay. How brave you are.But that had been a time of a vast and empty plain when there had been nothing to fall back on except courage, and she wasn’t fooled. When it’s the only choice, it’s easy. When your usual armchair isn’t waiting, standing is the only option. And when she got home, she would book that flight.

Helen’s phone pinged. ‘Lawrence is here,’ she said. She leaned forward. ‘And I can see a taxi. I think the bride has arrived.’

‘Yes,’ Kay said, because she too could see the yellow markings of the taxi that had just pulled up outside.

Immediately Lizzie was wheeled in,dressed in the prettiest lemon blouse and matching skirt, Kay went over to her. It was imperative she got there first and she got there quickly, that she let Lizzie know. Blister rubbing, knees creaking, she crouched by the chair.

‘Kay.’

‘Lizzie.’

They spoke over each other.

‘I’m so sorry,’ she said. ‘I should have come to see you. As soon as I knew, I should have come.’

Lizzie shook her head. ‘Your father said you needed time.’

‘I don’t.’ She took Lizzie’s hand. It was light as lace, intricately patterned with the lines of a long life, frail as tissue paper. ‘Dad said you wanted my blessing. You have it, Lizzie. I have no objections to anything that will bring happiness into my father’s life, or yours. None at all.’

Smiling, Lizzie placed her free hand on her chest. ‘I had no idea, Kay. No idea at all that he was going to propose, but when he did …’ Her eyes, pink-rimmed, filled with tears. ‘I’m not sure what to say to you. It was the most wonderful thing.’

‘You don’t have to say anything.’

‘I couldn’t think of a reason to say no.’

Kay didn’t speak.

‘And that seemed reason enough to say yes.’

‘I understand.’ She did. At ninety, why would you say no to anything? It was a lesson she could do with learning herself. Why say no, when you can say yes.

‘Your father makes me laugh.’

She smiled. ‘He says the same about you.’

‘Does he?’ Lizzie nodded. ‘Well, there has been a lot of laughter these last few weeks.’

‘And a lot more to come I hope.’

‘Hello.’

Standing up, knees wrenching, she turned to see Caro standing just behind. ‘This,’ she said to Lizzie, ‘is Caro.’ And stepping back, she conceded the moment. There wasn’t anything more to say. Lizzie had been told about the situation, she knew who Caro was, what had happened. She watched, as bending low, Caro placed her bouquet on Lizzie’s lap, as Lizzie reached a pale arm around Caro’s neck and drew her into a shaky embrace. She meant what she had said, because why would she hold any objection to anything that would bring happiness to the people she loved most in the world.

46

Outside, standing on the top step, Helen and Libby watched as a tall man, standing on the bottom step, struggled to persuade a toddler up the stairs.

‘Shall we help?’ Libby whispered, leaning in.

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