Page 65 of A Midlife Marriage

‘Is your dad going to Cyprus as well?’ Libby said, dragging her back into the moment.

‘He’s bought a camper van,’ Alex said. ‘It’s at Mum’s house and I’m helping him fix it up. He’s going to drive around Europe in it.’

So that was whatmight see him again,meant. Helen smiled. A to B to C. You could always rely on Alex to take a direct route.

‘I think she’s worried about me,’ Alex said. ‘She doesn’t think I can look after myself. But I can. I have a girlfriend now.’

‘Oh, Alex.’ Helen put her hand on his arm. Alex had always been more capable than Kay had ever dared allow him to be. Except for the heart bit. His pure, pure heart. ‘What’s her name?’ she said, welling up again.

‘Emmylou. She works in the gift shop at the garden centre.’

‘That’s great, Alex.’ And Libby too smiled, and for a moment the three of them stood, held in the arms of a pure and gentle emotion.

‘I want Mum to go,’ Alex said. ‘She really enjoyed herself last time. I don’t want her to think that she has to stay and look after me all the time.’

‘No,’ Helen murmured.

‘That’s not fair,’ Alex said.

She shook her head.

‘So, I think she should go.’

Helen dipped her chin. She understood what Kay would be thinking, how impossible the decision to leave was. What shecouldn’t begin to understand, not here, not now in the blistering truth of Alex’s words, was what Libby would be thinking. The situation was too complicated, too fraught with emotion to be broached five minutes before a wedding. ‘I think,’ she said cheerily, ‘that we really should be going in.’ She turned to Alex. ‘Your mum is getting your granddad seated and then she’s coming back out to wait with me. Libby why don’t you––’

But she didn’t get any further because the door swung open and a tall woman with startlingly orange lipstick, big teeth and bigger hair called out.

‘Anyone here for the Hardcastle – Nowak wedding?’

Helen gathered her wrap together. ‘We are,’ she said.

‘Excellent!’ The woman stretched out a hand. ‘My name is Chloe. I’m your celebrant today.’

‘Excellent!’ Helen mirrored. She’d never met a celebrant before, but if she’d been expecting anything it would have been a suit, somewhat authoritative, somewhat smart. Chloe was dressed in what looked like a cross between a robe and a poncho. Purple-satin, neatly fringed with gold. Suppressing a smile, Helen stepped aside, allowing Alex to go ahead.

‘Mum.’ Libby’s hand was on her arm. ‘Wait, please.’

Aware of Alex and Chloe going through, of the door beginning to close, Helen stretched her arm out to hold it.

‘You should take the job,’ Libby said quietly. ‘I want you to take the job.’

‘Libby.’ The door was heavy, she had to take a step back to hold the weight. ‘We can talk about this after ––’

But Libby was shaking her head, her chin set. ‘I was so mean to Alex at my eighteenth and he doesn’t even remember. Or if he does,’ she added, ‘he’s forgiven me.’

‘Libby …’

‘He is a better person than me.’

‘He’s different,’ Helen said. ‘You’re just different.’

Libby looked up. ‘Do you know how many of my friends have been to visit since I had Ben?’

One hand on her chest, the other still holding the door, Helen took a deep breath. She couldn’t answer the question, but it wouldn’t be many. No, she couldn’t imagine that many of those shiny bright girls at Libby’s eighteenth birthday party would have been back to sit amongst Ben’s nappies, in her tiny flat.

‘None,’ Libby said. ‘Joanna came once and stayed about ten minutes. She had a party to get back for.’

Helen nodded.

---