Page 30 of A Midlife Marriage

‘Oh, just a bit then.’ And as Kay ladled a large spoonful of creamy korma onto her plate, she groaned. ‘It’s not going to fit.’

Standing up, Helen took the empty bottle of champagne. ‘We need another one.’

‘You still have time, don’t you?’ Kay said. ‘To lose an inch?’

‘Sex!’ Helen called as she went to the fridge. ‘Sex is good exercise!’

‘Sex?’ Kay smiled. ‘What’s that?’

‘Ask Caro!’

‘I’m not sure why you’d say that, Helen,’ Caro said.

‘Ignore her.’ Kay leaned across the table, her hand cupped at her mouth as she stage-whispered, ‘She’s just jealous.’ And leaning back she put a fist to her chest and burped again. ‘These bubbles,’ she gasped.

‘We’re both jealous!’ Back at the table, Helen opened the bottle and filled every glass she could find. ‘Seriously though,’ she said as she sat down, ‘It’s such an important part of a woman’s life.’ She picked up a poppadum and snapped it in half, lumping chutney on as she looked sideways at Kay. ‘When was the last time?’

‘I’m not answering that!’ A fountain of bubbles erupted from Kay’s mouth. ‘No.’ She raised her palm. ‘Stop looking at me.’ But they didn’t, and eventually she lowered her glass and said quietly, ‘I honestly don’t know.’ But she did.

‘Kay?’

Kay shrugged.

‘Kay.’ Now it was Caro’s turn.

‘What did you expect?’ she said defensively. ‘Alex was only eight when Martin left. I wasn’t going to be bringing anyone into the house.’

‘Of course.’ Helen nodded. ‘But you know what they say?’

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Use it, or lose it,’ Caro finished.

‘Use it or lose it?’ Crossing her arms, Kay leaned back. ‘How can I lose it, Caro? It’s an integral part of my biology.’

‘We mean,’ Helen said, ‘that women of our age need help. It dries up.’ And mimicking the action of a zip closing, Helen drew her hand across her lips.

‘Shrinks,’ Caro added.

‘Well, if that’s the case,’ Kay said, ‘mine will be vacuum-packed.’

‘Like my hands.’ Helen raised her hands and looked at them. ‘They always say if you want to know a woman’s age look at the back of her hands.’

‘Or the inside of her vagina?’ Kay said lightly.

‘We’re serious,’ Caro scolded. ‘You’re only fifty-two.’

‘I know how old I am!’

‘And starting a whole new life,’ Helen said.

‘Am I?’

‘I had a few problems with Tomasz.’ Caro nodded. ‘But it’s lovely now.’ She reached across, took one of Kay’s hands and shook it. ‘I want you to think about something. When was Viagra invented?’

Helen frowned. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Me neither,’ Kay said.

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