Page 64 of A Midlife Gamble

‘Marianne?’

Marianne, it seemed was quicker. She’d let go of her lifeline to Kay and come closer to the slot they were standing by, the slot that Helen could see now was Titanic.

‘Much the same,’ Marianne said and looked at Caro.

‘It’s a random combination,’ Kay whispered. ‘It’s not going—’

‘It’s going to prove that you are not a loser, Kay,’ Caro cut her off. ‘Let’s play. I want to show you. Five dollars each.’ She looked at Helen.

And meeting Caro’s eye, Helen did not know what to do. The moment had arrived without warning. A large part of her was scared for Kay’s sake, wanted nothing more than to keep them moving forward, to get them all safely into beds, get the night over with… But the assurance in Caro’s voice was as real as a roadblock. Caro, she felt, knew how this was going to end. And she wasn’t just asking how much cash Helen had, she was also asking Helen to trust her… In a way Helen knew she hadn’t done often enough. Silently, she opened her bag and took out her purse, aware of Marianne doing the same.

Caro nodded, turned to the slot and fed in the first note.

Only Kay hadn’t moved, her face unreadable.

Golden keys and compasses whizzed past, stopwatches and cellos. One heart of the ocean, then two and then none.

Helen took her turn, one heart, then two and then none.

Marianne stepped forward. Golden keys and a tiny Jack.

‘Your turn,’ Caro said quietly.

But Kay took a step back, her eyes filling with tears.

And then Helen understood. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said. 'Does it?' She looked to Caro, who nodded in agreement.

‘Helen's right. That's the point, Kay. It doesn’t matter what happens because even if you lose, you haven't lost. Not a single thing that mattered. You'll still have us. You have Alex and your parents—'

'And thousands of kids!' Helen cried. She knew what Caro was doing. 'It must be thousands, probably more. All the kids you've ever taught, Kay. Every time you had them understanding a fraction, you were sending them off to a better life! No one can take that away from you.'

And at this Kay really did smile. 'If only,' she said, 'that was all it took for a better life.'

'It's a good enough start, Kay.' Marianne nodded. 'Better than a lot of kids get.'

'That,' Helen exclaimed, 'is absolutely true!’

‘Ok,' Kay breathed. She stepped forward. ‘Ok.’

One heart rolled past and then two and then none.

Two hearts rolled past and then none.

On her third roll, three hearts rolled past and stuck, one and then two and three. A burst of golden coins exploded across the screen, blooming over and over again, Hearts of the Ocean pulsating as if they had just been pulled from living breathing bodies. A number flashed up.1000! 1000! 1000!

‘You’ve won!’ Marianne cried.

Kay stared at the screen.

‘You’ve won a thousand credits!’ Helen laughed.

‘Ten dollars,’ Caro smiled.

Kay nodded. She reached up and pressed the cashbutton. ‘I’ll treat you all to coffee,’ she said as she bent to collect her winning ticket. And as she stood, carefully folding the ticket in half she said, ‘This is what I couldn’t afford to lose.’ And she looked up. ‘This. Us.’

PARTIV

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