Page 43 of A Midlife Gamble

Where the hell had Tony disappeared to? Caro twisted in the saddle and as she did, she jerked the reins. Her horse let out a shrill whinny, tossing its head in an alarmingly violent manner. ‘Woah!’ she called, jerking the reins again, at which her horse stumbled back, lifting its feet, head rearing. Her eyes filled with hot terrified tears. She had no idea what to do. This was chaos. She’d ceded control and the result was as alarming and chaotic as she’d feared.Help me,she whispered.Help me.

‘Ok… ok.’ From nowhere, a man’s hand appeared at her left side, pulling the reins slack. It was Gabe. ‘Gentle,’ he said. ‘Go gentle.’ As he slackened the reins, her horse settled.

‘I don’t think I can do this,’ Caro blurted. ‘Really… I don’t think this is for me, it’s…’

‘Do you want to dismount?’

Caro opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Yes she wanted to dismount, more than anything she wanted to dismount, but even more than that she did not want to fail.

Gabe moved in close to her horse, resting his palm on its neck. ‘His name is Jangles,’ he said. ‘And he’s a career trail horse. A little taller than average, but he knows what to do.’

‘I’m glad one of us does.’ Caro laughed, trying and failing to hide the abject terror she felt.

Gabe looked at her. ‘You have to trust your horse,’ he said. ‘Once you’re in the position you’re in now, you don’t really have a choice.’

Trust?You can trust me,Shook had said. Those had been his exact words. She wiped her palm on her jeans, where it left a dark mark.

‘I’ll walk you around a little,’ Gabe said, ‘until you’re comfortable with each other.’ His voice was low and calm as he talked, not to Caro but to Jangles, leading the horse back a few steps and then beginning a wide lazy circle of the corral. Jangles snorted but offered no resistance.

Gabe looked up at Caro. ‘Best thing you can do is relax. Don’t fight your horse. He’s your partner and you gotta learn to let him lead.’

Caro’s smile was tight as she nodded. Jangles was a horse, not a partner. And she’d never allowed anyone to lead, ever.

‘Horses,’ Gabe continued, ‘respond to pressure and release. Pressure from the side, here…’ and he patted Jangle’s flank, ‘will tell him to go forward. Pressure on the bit, will tell him to slow down. He’s smart. He’ll listen. And when you release that pressure you’re telling him he did the right thing.’

Again she nodded.

‘So relax.’

‘I am.’

Gabe looked at her. ‘If you say so,’ he smiled and turned to lead Jangles on.

In the saddle, Caro swayed.Relax, she chanted,relax, relax, relax.It was exactly as Gabe had said. She didn’t have a choice.Relax, she murmured again, giving her shoulders a little shake,go with it, go with it.And without being wholly aware that it was happening, every step that Jangles made had the knots of terror and resistance Caro had tied herself in unravelling. The rhythm was hypnotic. And when Jangles came to a halt and the swaying stopped, Caro looked up, surprised to see that they had left the corral and were now on the trail path.

‘How you doing up there?’ Gabe said, still walking alongside.

‘Fine.’

‘Want to try a little stop and go commands?’

‘Ok. So… pressure here?’ She squeezed her knees and Jangles began a slow trot.

‘And let’s stop,’ Gabe called.

Gently Caro pulled back on the bit. Jangles came to a stop.

‘See, it’s all about trust, Caro. You’re doing great.’ Gabe put his hands on his hips. ‘For the duration of this ride, remember, Jangles is your partner and partners look out for each other. So pay attention to how he’s feeling. If he’s tense, or side-stepping, or jumpy. He may have a trigger nearby. Keep an eye out for safety risks, that’s your job. Low hanging branches and stuff. Jangles knows what he’s doing, but he’s tall and he’s heavy and he’s shit scared of plastic bags skittling outta nowhere.’

‘Oh.’ Caro blinked. She looked down at her horse and the thought of this massive and powerful animal being terrified of a piece of plastic filled her with compassion. She leaned forward and stroked Jangle’s flank. ‘Don’t worry,’ she whispered. ‘I’m taller than average and I’m a career kind of person as well. I’ll trust you if you trust me. And I promise I’ll keep you safe from those plastic bags.’

19

As the last swirls of red-grey dust thinned, and the shuffling sound of the horses’ hooves fell quiet, Marianne turned to Kay.

‘I hope they don’t kill each other.’

‘Caro and Helen?’ Kay tried to laugh it off, but it wasn’t convincing. ‘Oh, they’ll be alright.’

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