Page 70 of Coerced

He’s probably gonna let them think I murdered this woman. The two of us aren’t exactly friends.

I stood, moved back, and folded my arms over my chest. Bracing my legs wide and welding my eyes to a pine tree, I tried to block out their voices.

I’d known this was coming. The day I’d told the story of my possession, I’d known it would cost me friends. And I’d known I had to prepare for it, but I’d kept getting sidetracked and told myself I’d work on it later.

Well, I guess later’s arrived. Now what?

Sure, I’d brought it on myself. I’d made the decision all on my own and now I had to live with the consequences. I only wished my sacrifice had worked. I’d paid a steep price to try and save my mom’s life.

And I’m still paying for it. For how long? The rest of my life?A knot of pure pain cramped my throat and my eyes stung.Because if it is, I don’t think I wanna do this anymore. I mean, if it had saved her, bring it on. I’d take this and more if it meant she lived. But she died. And I don’t deserve this. Or do I?

“Would you all stop?” Spin yelled all of a sudden. “Kerry didn’t do anything! Look at this woman. She was torn up by something with claws. And can’t any of yousmell? This is what the Diabolical stink like! Plus, she’s been dead long enough for her blood to congeal. Maybe two hours now.”

I looked away from the pine trunk’s cracked bark to find ten pairs of eyes staring at me. I straightened my shoulders and kept my feet planted. When Gemma started toward me, I moved back.

The one person I trusted above all others, and she was the first to point a finger.

“You didn’t even ask.” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“What?”

“If I did it. You didn’t ask. You saw me next to a dead body and that was it. I musta killed her.”

Why does it hurt so much to know how she sees me?My chest filled with a tangled ball of barbed wire.It’s nothing less than the truth.

“Rome said— I saw— I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t!” I buried my hands deeper into my armpits and locked my face up tight. “Just lemme alone.”

“Wait.”

“IsaidI wanna be alone right now.”

“I know you’re angry,” she kept trying, “but I want a chance to explain.”

“Like the chance you gave me a few seconds ago?”

She looked like I punched her, and I felt bad about that, but she’d hurt me first.

“Calm down and listen to me.” She put her hand on my arm.

I froze.

At the start of this mission, Clem had asked me about my one and only fear. Since a tainted soul is Hell-bound, I imagine he thought it was dying, but he wasn’t even close. I knew what waited for me in the afterlife, and it wasn’t Heaven.

So, no, it wasn’tmydeath I feared.

It was Gemma Shepherd’s.

And nothing on this earth terrified me more than knowing my own hands could be responsible for it. All it would take was for me to lose control and for her to be in the path of my rage. I saw it in my mind’s eye over and over, and it looked exactly like this moment.

“Careful, angel.” I pried her hand off and dropped it. I wasn’t safe, but I made sure to be gentle. “You’ll get dirty touching something like me.”

She gasped and cradled her hand to her chest like I’d broken it. Now,thathurt more than I would have guessed, and a blue cloud fizzed up around me.

“Calm down.” Jax held his hands down and away as he came closer. “You’re right to be upset, but you’re leaking too much power. You could hurt someone.”

Iwannahurt someone!I shouted in my head.You all think I’m a monster? Heh. You have no idea what a monster I can be.

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