Page 19 of The Beta's Heart

Why not unnerstand? Metry. Me tryso hardto be good boy! But tings make me mad. So mad! Make me want to break, break, break!

RAAAWR!

Shh, Riv. Everything’s all right. I’m here.Ty-Ty voice always so nice. So soft and kind. Makes dah mad go to sleep again.Watch the fire and relax. Aren’t the flames so pretty dancing around?

Me look at fire. Very pretty. Make me sleepy. Eyes close. Time for rest. Wish me could tell Ty-Ty how feels, but words too hard.

Sorry.Dat me can say. Dat me say lots and lots!

It’s okay, Riv.You’re my good boy. We’ll figure it out together.

Tanks you, Ty-Ty. Nightie night.

Good night, baby,Ty-Ty say. Sweet dreams.

Me love Ty-Ty.

6. Secrets and Scars

Tyler

Several weeks passed, and I was getting used to my new daily routine with the other betas, who all taught me a lot, even Matthew, although his attitude toward me still hung in the air. Sometimes, he was outright hostile; other times, he gave me the cold shoulder. I was fine with being ignored since that didn’t trigger River one bit, but his venomous days were hard to get through.

Emerson, Tristan, and Crew all ran interference at one time or another, mostly when ‘Meanie Boy’ tripped River’s kill switch, but Matthew wasn’t so nice to them, either, and I wondered if that was my fault.

“Sorry if I’ve caused a rift between y’all,” I told the three of them while we were on the training field waiting for Matthew, who had filled in for one of the Nightcrawlers.

“You didn’t,” Em assured me, “but it’s too bad you only know Meanie Boy and not the real Matthew.”

“Most of what comes out of his mouth right now is the grief talking,” Crew added quietly. “All we can do is support him while he grows around it on his journey through it.”

“That don’t mean we have to put up with him being an asshole to us, does it?” Tris asked, settling his hands on his hips. “Ty’s his main target most of the time, but he’s bittenallof us.”

“There’s nothing wrong with protecting ourselves when he lashes out, but we can’t take it personally. He’s not mad atus.”

“So how do we support him, but not get bit?” Em asked.

“We maintain our boundaries.” Crew’s peaceful eyes met each of ours. “Next time he snaps, tell him you’re sorry he’s struggling, but it’s not okay for him to do that, then walk away and give him space.”

“Twenty bucks says he’ll tackle me from behind,” I blurted out before I could stop myself, which made everyone laugh.

“Bro, do you evenhavetwenty bucks?” Tris teased. “The beta pay doesn’t start for six weeks in, and you got to be broke from all that ice cream you bribe River with.”

“You should claim each and every scoop on your expenses,” Em suggested, humor making his dark eyes glitter.

“Only instead of ice cream, label it, River Management Tools,” Crew added with a serene smile, which made me laugh.

#

One Saturday morning in late May, Emerson said the betas and gammas were going to combine practice times when school let outfor summer next week. That made meveryhappy. Not only was I buddies with all the gammas, but I could also spar regularly with Landry.

For now, though, I only had the other betas to encourage me to push myself to the limit and beyond—which they relished doing.

“Come on, Ty! Don’t let Em outdo you!” Crew teased, his breath coming in quick pants as he finished another set of push-ups five seconds before I did.

“Me?” I shot back, grinning despite the increasing pain and weakness in my bad arm, and I prayed it didn’t shame me and give out. “He outpacedyoutwo reps ago.”

“No one beats Em when his beast mode is on,” laughed Tris, tossing a water bottle in my direction. “That’s why we call him Beta Beast.”

---