Page 17 of The Beta's Heart

And between one heartbeat and the next, River sank to the back of my mind, singing “Boo-bee icy” softly to himself and giggling.

“Who knew the mighty power of ice cream?” Crew chuckled as he stood up and stretched his hand toward me.

“Whatever works,” I shrugged and let him pull me to my feet.

“Bro! Your wolf’s cornbread ain’t done in the middle!” Tris gasped as he wiped tears from his eyes.

“That’s rude,” Crew chided him.

“It’s okay. I know he’s half a bubble off plumb,” I told them as I shook my head. “But he’s a good boy and sweet as pie.”

“Except for when he’s not,” Tris snorted, and I had to agree.

As they started unpacking the work-out gear we were going to need, I jumped right in to help, only pausing for a moment to glance over to the far edge of the field. Emerson was still talking to Matthew and, even from here, I could see the mutinous look on Matthew’s face. Earning his respect would be an uphill battle, one I wasn’t sure I was ready for, but I didn’t have a choice now. I was going to be working with him, so I needed to find a way to get along with him.

Even if he seemed to have zero interest in returning the favor.

#

After training, I found myself alone in the locker room, washing up and trying to get a grip on my racing thoughts.

River had been bribed into compliance for now, but it was only ever a matter of time before something else set him off. It was our daily cycle, which I was used to and had found ways to deal with, but now everything was changing.

How am I supposed to manage being a beta while managing a wolf like mine?

As I stood at the sink, splashing cold water on my face, Crew, Emerson, and Tristan walked in, exchanging glances before approaching me.

“You okay, kid?” Crew started, leaning against the lockers. “Your wolf really wanted to knock Meanie Boy into the middle of next week.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I nodded, reaching for a towel to dry my face. “And Riv sang himself to sleep, so he’s no threat to anyone, including me, right now.”

“How do you do it, bro? How do you handle a wolf like that every single day?” Tristan looked at me thoughtfully.

I sighed, tossing the towel in the bin and leaning back against the sink. I didn’t mind talking about my wolf. Wasn’t like it was a secret or anything, and they’d find out everything soon enough, anyway, since we’d be working so closely together.

“It’s not easy with River being so unpredictable. I’ve learned to manage him, but it’s a constant struggle.”

“That sounds rough. Do you ever get any chill time?”

“Sometimes,” I admitted. “He has his moments of calm, like when I promise him something he really wants—”

“Boo-bee ice cream, I’m told,” Emerson interrupted with a chuckle.

“Yeah,” I snorted, “but it’s always temporary. I have to stay on guard, always ready to pull him back if he loses it.”

“Doesn’t it get exhausting? Always being on edge?” Tris crossed his arms and leaned one shoulder against the wall.

“Oh, yeah,” I said honestly. “Some days, I am wore slap out.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” asked Em, who was born and raised in New York.

“Exhausted,” Crew and Tris said at the same time.

“It’s my reality, and I have to deal with it,” I shrugged. “I’ve learned to live with him, but I wouldn’t wish him on anyone else.”

“I can’t imagine what that must be like. You’re tough, kid.” Em reached over and cuffed my bad shoulder, making me frown and dodge away.

“Yeah, it takes toughness, but it’s also about accepting how Riv is and finding ways to cope. And he has his good qualities, too.”

---