Page 45 of Protecting Little Phoebe

Drat.

Get yourself together.

She felt so scattered.

“You know how you get a bottle of soda and you shake it and shake it?”

He nodded, looking confused and she couldn’t blame him for that. She felt confused and she was the one trying to explain how she felt.

“And then you undo the cap and it all explodes out? I feel like my cap was just loosened.”

Did he get it?

“I think I understand.”

“You do?”

“Yes, little girl. You’ve been holding your emotions in, and they’ve been bubbling, searching for a way out. The spanking gave you the excuse to let go and let everything out and now it’s hard to rein your emotions back in.”

“Wow. You said that so much better than I ever could.”

He smiled slightly as he wiped his thumb under her eye. Drat. Some stray tears were still working their way down her cheek.

“What were you holding so tightly to your chest, sweetheart?” he asked. “Is it something you can tell me? Sometimes it’s good to talk about these things.”

She breathed out a deep sigh. “Lots of stuff, I think. My dad dying. My brothers being so disapproving of the way I am, of the life I want to lead. Them wanting me to tone myself down so I fit in better. The guilt I feel over my mom’s death.”

“That’s a lot to carry around on your shoulders,” he told her, cupping the side of her face. “You should know that your mom’s death wasn’t your fault, but it also seems to me like perhaps you should talk to someone about that guilt. It’s not healthy for you to deal with. Losing a parent is so hard. Will you think about talking to a therapist? I don’t like that you’re living with these feelings and bottling them up.”

“Maybe,” she said. “I don’t know if they’d approve of me, either.”

“Firstly, screw anyone who doesn’t approve of you because you are amazing. And you will tell me if anyone makes you feel less, understand? You do not have to tone yourself down to fit in with anyone. You’re perfect how you are.”

“What will you do if someone does do that?” she asked, shocked by how fierce he looked and sounded.

“I will ruin them.”

Whoa.

Those words went straight through her body, heating her from the inside out. Seemed like she enjoyed his protectiveness.

“Why?”

“Because you’re mine, little girl.”

Yep. She liked his possessiveness too. “Thank you,” she told him.

His eyebrows rose. “I wasn’t expecting you to thank me.”

“No? What were you expecting?”

“I suppose I was expecting you to react how my ex would have. Which isn’t fair now that I take a moment to think about it, because you are nothing like her.”

Well, that was a relief. From what she’d learned of his ex, she didn’t want to be like her. “How would she have reacted?”

“Probably by laughing at me or getting mad. Maybe some ridicule. It’s hard to know which way she would go.”

“She didn’t deserve you,” she told him. “Because you’re amazing and if anyone tries to tell you differently, you tell me. I’ll deal with them.” She punched her fist into the palm of her other hand.

---