Page 41 of Protecting Little Phoebe

Barren grasped hold of her chin, tilting her head back so she had to look at him. “I want to make it very clear that I wasn’t angry at you. I was upset that you might be lying to me. I realize now though, that perhaps you just couldn’t tell me what you needed? Is that right?”

She nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lie. Really. I just… I’ve never thought about sleeping in a crib and it makes me nervous, and I didn’t know if it was something you wanted.” She sucked in a breath. “Sorry, I can’t believe I’m so indecisive and nervous. This isn’t me.”

“It’s because this is new. And you’re still unsure of me, which is understandable. Letting go can be hard unless you fully trust someone and it’s all right that you don’t. If I push you too hard,tell me to stop or say ‘red’. But, otherwise, I am going to push a bit to see where your limits are.”

“Okay,” she said.

“Good girl. Do you trust me enough to stop when you say red?”

“Yes, Daddy. Of course I trust you to do that.” Phoebe couldn’t do this with him if she didn’t.

“That’s my precious girl. We can have this room all day if we want, so there is plenty of time to play with everything and take a nap.”

She was excited about that. She’d managed to take in the rest of the room briefly when she’d walked in, so she knew there were lots of things she’d like to play with.

“All right, Daddy. I’d like that.”

“That’s my good girl. You’re being so brave that it blows my mind. I just don’t ever want you to be scared of me. Okay?”

“I wasn’t really scared of you, just scared of disappointing you.”

“Oh, my baby, I doubt that is even possible.”

“Can I play now, Daddy?”

“I know you’re dying to have a play, but there’s a couple of things we have to deal with first, isn’t there?”

She raised her thumb to her mouth, and he tugged that gently away.

“Firstly, there’s lines for throwing glitter around last night. Twenty-five lines saying that glitter is for crafting, not bombing people.”

Phoebe sighed heavily, but she was aware she was likely getting off lightly. It was the second part of this conversation that she was not looking forward to.

“Okay, Daddy.”

“The bigger thing we need to discuss is the fact that you broke a rule. A big rule. Putting yourself down is not somethingI will ever put up with. I would never allow anyone else to say something bad about you, so why would I let you say it?”

“Even if it’s really the truth?”

“It isnotthe truth. You are not a mess. The thing I agreed with your brothers about wasn’t that you were naïve or that you needed to change. I think you are amazing just the way you are. A bit of self-preservation is needed, but as long as you have someone watching out for you, then you can be yourself. You just have to be safe. That’s all. And I want to help keep you safe so you can be you.”

She couldn’t help but sniffle. “No one ever wants all of me.”

“Oh, my baby, I do.” He brushed her hair off her face before leaning down to kiss her forehead, her nose, her cheeks and then finally her lips. “I want you. All of you. Please don’t hold back out of fear or worry. I can handle all of you. What’s more, I want to.”

Another sniffle and he drew her close to his chest and held her until she’d calmed down.

“You don’t know what those words mean to me. I’ve never had full acceptance.”

“Then let me show you what it feels like.”

She nodded and he pulled her back, giving her a serious look. “That does mean that sometimes you’re going to end up punished. Because there are rules and a lot of them are there for your safety, something I take very seriously. Understand? So when you break them, you get a sore butt. Or some other sort of consequence.”

“I understand,” she said.

“Then you know that after your lines you’re going to get a spanking for saying bad things about my girl.”

Quintuple uh-oh.

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