Page 99 of Avenging Devil: Part 1

The day passes slowly. When I return to the clubhouse, she’s still on my mind. Rumours are rife about the woman who appeared yesterday evening, only to bolt in the middle of the night. Saffie, and her vulnerability, had touched many hearts. It doesn’t help that Eva, Patsy and Mary all seem to give me the cold shoulder. I want to defend myself, but keep my mouth shut. It was she who walked out. She who turned her back on the safety I could offer her.

Grumbler, it appears, isn’t much better off. Mary seems to be blaming him by association.

“I don’t understand why the club can’t help,” Mary comments theatrically loudly in passing while I’m speaking to her old man. “Saffie should not be alone in that apartment.”

“Club business,” Grumbler retorts. The way his old lady tosses her head as she walks off, I gather tonight he will not be getting lucky. His glare my way confirms that thought.

After dinner, I head out on my bike, just riding to nowhere to get Saffie out of my head. It proves impossible.

What I should do is forget her, but I can’t. Despite there being no rational reason for her I offered to upturn my life, then have to face she had no such reciprocal feeling. We were just passing ships in the night. I barely know her, and have no responsibility for her, not now she’s turned my offer down flat.

“You look like shit,” Kink remarks on my return.

Yeah, I probably do. Riding, for once, hadn’t helped. Maybe I should get drunk instead, but I forego the spirits and stick to beer, wanting to keep a clear head in case she needs me and calls.Fuck, I’m a fool.Sliding onto the bar stool adjacent to his, I place my bottle in front of me.

“It’s Saffie,” I tell him, leaning in close so I can speak confidentially. “She’s got me twisted in fuckin’ knots.”

He snorts. “Don’t talk to me about knots, Brother. I can talk about them for days.” Despite myself, my mouth quirks. “You ever been this worried about a woman before?”

“Never come across one in such dire straits,” I answer. “It’s so fuckin’ hard to accept her doing everything alone.”

“Kind of got that when Token said you’d offered to turn in your patch.”

“Token’s got a big fucking mouth,” I growl, wondering now whether everyone knows.

“Is it true though? She means that much?”

“I’m sorry, Kink.” He’s one I’d be letting down if I did. “Seems she does.”

He studies me earnestly. “Then I don’t fuckin’ blame you, even if I don’t think you’d be right. You were born for this life, Brother. And she’ll still be a tough nut to crack, whether or not you wear a cut. Her fear of bikers will always be against you.”

“The boat has sailed,” I tell him. “She doesn’t want me to go near her. She’ll be moving out of town, hell, out of state. What I should be focusing on is whether I’ve still got a place here.”

“Should be, but you’re not.” His lips thin. “Thing is, Niran, on the home front, I don’t think you’ve got much to worry about.” I shrug. He hadn’t seen the disappointment in Lost’s face. Still, at least Kink doesn’t seem to be holding it against me. “You know your mistake,” he continues. “You’re giving her what she wants, not what she needs.”

“Fuck off,” I retort but without any malice. I pick up my beer. “You screw up my head with that dominant shit.”

He snorts as I walk off and take my ass off to bed.

Despite that I pride myself on being able to drop off anytime, anywhere, I spend a restless night with thoughts of a certain woman circulating around my mind.

The next day, I get up and do it all over again.

Today, it’s even harder to stop jumping on my bike and going to check if she’s alright. Only one thing stops me. She asked me to stay away, and I’ll abide by her request. Of course Kink’s words lodge in my head, but who am I to say what she needs? I start to hope Token will soon report he and Stormy have got her new identity sorted out, and that she’s relocated somewhere far away. Maybe that will get her annoying presence out of my head.

I take another long ride this evening. I force myself to stop and admire the sun setting over the ocean, trying to focus on the reds and greens instead of Saffie’s dark hair as it falls around her shoulders. It only works to a small extent.

On returning to the clubhouse, I get myself a beer, then survey the room, wondering whether a game of cards would hold my attention, and how much I could afford to lose if it doesn’t.

I watch Salem dealing out hands to Pennywise, Wrangler and Deuce, hoping one of them will fold soon, enabling me to take their place. Unlike my usual hypervigilant self, I don’t see her before I feel the hand on my arm.

Startling, I twist around.

“Susie,” I state, the word tasting like poison in my mouth.

“That woman hasn’t come back, then?”

“What the fuck do you know aboutthat woman?” The words had sounded distasteful coming out of her mouth. “And why are you fuckin’ here? Salem told you to get lost and never come back.”

---