Page 98 of Avenging Devil: Part 1

“Prez,” I cry out earnestly. “If it comes to it, I’ll take any punishment you see fit to dole out. You think I want to do this? You think I’d turn my back on the club and my brothers who mean fuckin’everythingto me if I had any fuckin’ choice? She’s important to me, damn it.” By the time I finish, my chest is heaving. I thump one of my fists into the palm of my other hand. “At the end of the day, it doesn’t fuckin’ matter. That she fuckin’ left without speaking to me says volumes about her views.”

As my final words ring in the ensuing silence, Token regards me, his expression not that of a computer nerd, but a man full of feelings and sympathy. Suddenly he puts his ever-present laptop to one side and sits forward. “You care for her, Niran, if you were prepared to give up so much. It must sting like fuck that she didn’t want that. But hey, I’ll work with Stormy. We’ll keep our ears to the ground. I promise wherever she goes, she’ll be safe.”

He’s right. I do care for her, care what happens to her. Fuck knows why, I couldn’t explain if I wanted to. There’s just something about her vulnerability and situation that tugs at my heartstrings. But not only has she pushed me away, she left without saying a word. Seems as clear as night and day that she doesn’t want me anywhere near her.

There’s only one thing I can ask. “Keep me in the loop, Brother.”

“You got it.” Token raises his chin toward me.

Lost’s still staring at me, seemingly unable to give up on the previous conversation. “You serious about turning in your patch?”

Could I tell him it was just words said in the heat of the night? I grimace and give him the truth. “Fuck it, Lost, I am. If that means I don’t lose her, then if it came to it, I would do that. As it turns out, I’ve no choice in the matter.”

As he continues to stare, I wonder whether I’ve burned my bridges. Stay or leave, I’ve already shown my loyalty could be divided when it comes to the club. Once again, I should have kept my mouth shut. I’d give anything to be able to wind back the last twenty-four hours.

After a torturous silence, Lost breaks it. “Utah asked us to keep eyes on her, you’ve fucked that up. I’ll ring Snatcher, come clean. See if we can get Vegas and other friendly clubs to keep an eye out for a herd of Wolves heading our way. And if they do,” he raises a finger and points it at me, “someone will have to make sure she gets out before they arrive.” He breaks off and looks at Token. “You keep on at Stormy, but I’ll step in as well. I’ll prepare Snatcher and impress on them the necessity to speed up her new paperwork.” Reaching into his pocket, Lost pulls out his phone, then hesitates, his eyes landing on me, then Token. “Haven’t you fuckers got some work to do?”

“He might.” Token points to me with a grin. He stifles a yawn, then adds, “Me? I’ve got sleep to catch up on.” With his laptop under his arm, he walks out.

Lost puts his head down and pulls some paperwork toward him. Feeling dismissed, I stand.

“We okay?” I ask, hesitantly.

It takes a couple of seconds, and then Prez’s face turns up. Grimacing, he states, “You tell me.”

With a clenched jaw, I step to the door and open it. After closing it behind me, I breathe out.Fuck it.

This isn’t a job you resign from, it’s a way of life, a lifelong commitment once you accept the patch. This club saved me when I thought I had nothing, gave me a purpose and only asked my loyalty in return. Hell, they’ve accepted my pain-in-the-ass sister, and all our current problems are down to me. They were prepared to go to war with the Crazy Wolves over Saffie, a woman they’d never have met were it not for me.

And what have I done? Shown I’d throw all that back in an instant, all for my own selfish needs.

Saffie doesn’t want me, her running off without a word made that clear. Now my inner thoughts were out in the open, what if the Devils decide they too no longer want me? It’s not like I’m a long-time member, I’ve only been patched in two years. The disrespect I’ve shown could see me losing my patch and being declared out bad.

Damn it.

I’m a grown man, yet my eyes water. I’ve fucked up. With my club and with Saffie.

Is there a way to come back from this? I can’t see it. Especially as I know, were Saffie to indicate that she needs me, I’d go with her in an instant. Full of regrets and wishes of what might have been, but it’s her I put first.

What do I do?

What can I, but go through the motions? I ride to the shop on autopilot, trying to put the question of my future with the club out of my head. What will be, will be.

Instead, I focus on the reason that’s brought me to this place. Saffie. Should I take her gesture as the final answer, or should I override her objections and try to see her?But to what end? What good would more talking do? Her actions have told me plainly she wants nothing to do with me, whether or not I’m a biker.

What danger is she in?

If Token’s to be believed, and I’ve no reason to doubt him, Duke hasn’t enough information to locate her. Maybe some time to calm down is all she needs to sensibly think about the offer I made. Perhaps her initial reaction doesn’t mean she’s said no to me forever. There’s still time before her paperwork is completed, and she’ll be ready to leave.

Backing my bike into a parking spot, I’ve still no answer, and no way forward decided.

“You’re late.” Grumbler spies me immediately.

Straightening my back, I approach him. In a few short sentences I tell him only that Saffie had walked out on me, effectively thumbing her nose at both mine and the club’s protection.

Once I’ve assured him Token’s pretty certain she’s safe, he guffaws, finding amusement in me having the shortest spell of having an old lady in history. I do a good job of pretending I don’t give a damn, wanting to end the conversation quickly. Then I volunteer myself for a tricky job which will hopefully focus my attention.

But however complicated the fault is to find, Saffie stubbornly stays on my mind. It doesn’t help that I can picture the apartment she’s living in.Will she still go to work?Is her car still running?Fuck, she didn’t even let me help with that. Another thing to show she’s had enough of overbearing bikers controlling her life.

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