Page 91 of Avenging Devil: Part 1

I’m a bastard for pushing her. I should have kept everything quiet. I’ve fucked everything up. I’m selfish, only thinking that losing her would leave a hole in my life. Have I been considering her at all, or my own desires and wants?

“You’re right,” I finally concede, my face falling and something dying inside. “I won’t claim you. You stay with us for a few days while we get your new identity sorted and the rest of your life worked out.”

She glances around the room, her eyes landing on the meagre possessions she brought with her, then she straightens her back.

“Niran,” she begins, softly. “I do appreciate you trying to help. I’m in no place to consider a relationship, even if you feel something on your part. To stay one step ahead of Duke, I’ll have to leave San Diego, and all of the friends that I’ve made.” She emphasises the wordfriendto let me know that includes me. “I’m grateful. I do need help to set up a new identity, but that doesn’t mean I need to be here while that’s done.”

“Saffie—”

“Being here isn’t good for me.” She turns to face me. “I’m scared, Niran. Whatever you say, however nice Patsy is, I keep waiting for the Devils to act like the Wolves.”

“What do you intend to do then?” Now she’s implying she’s not even going to stay for the time to get her ID sorted.

“I need to go back to my apartment, to pack everything that I can take with me. Then, I’ll leave. Go to a motel, or something. One that takes cash.”

“You got the money?”

She shrugs. “I’ve got enough. I’m not looking for luxury, just somewhere to crash.”

“Saffie,” I try again. “You shouldn’t be alone right now.” Apart from the fact there’s a mad man after her, doesn’t everyone need a friend? Especially after what she’s been through.

“I’ve been alone for months, well, five years to be exact.” She shrugs. “As long as Duke doesn’t know where to find me, I’ll be alright.”

That feels like a kick to my gut. It’s not because I was expecting her to jump at the chance of being my old lady, hell, I wasn’t exactly thinking I was going to have to fight her off, but she doesn’t even want my shoulder to lean on.

Why should I have regrets about a woman I barely know? Why should I find her announcement so devastating? Dart and Lost would probably think it’s the best thing for the club. As for me? She’s damaged, she’s not whole, she might never be again. But I hate the thought I’m going to lose all contact with her.

But what can I say? I dove in with both of my overlarge feet, I should have expected her reaction. I’ve chased her off.

What do I do?

“Stay tonight,” I tell her, unable to think of anything else. “I’ve put the lock on your door. If you’re still of the same mind in the morning, we’ll make sure you get home safe, and help you get relocated elsewhere.”

Her yawn suggests she might be weakening. And indeed, it’s not long before she agrees. “Until morning. But Niran, I’m under enough pressure as it is. Please, don’t keep trying to wear me down. I’ve made my decision. I won’t go back on it.” She pauses, then adds the killing blow. “That goes for Patsy, Mary and anyone else who thinks they can help. I need to do this alone.”

Because—my head adds in the missing words—that’s how she’ll be going forward and preparing to start all over again.

“Saffie.” Words come out of my mouth before I’m conscious I’ve come to a decision. “If you go, I’m coming with you.” So she’s left in no doubt, I add, “I’ll leave the club.” To show her I can do it, I take off my cut. More than that, I let it drop from my hand onto the floor.

“Niran!” I’ve shocked her. “Niran?” she repeats, and her eyes narrow as though assessing me as a man without the cut.

Is it enough? Will that convince her? Will that stop her from walking out of my life?

“Think on it, Saffie. I’m yours however you want me.”

She seems lost for words.

“Say it, Saffie. Just say you’ll think about it. Wherever you go, you could have me with you. However you want me. I won’t put pressure on you, but you won’t be alone anymore.”

Time ticks by. How many minutes, I’m not sure, but eventually she says, “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

As she turns her back on me, I realise I’ve said all I can for tonight. I’ve laid bare my soul; shown her the extent I’m prepared to go to. In the morning, if she says yes, I’ll have to make good on my promise to leave the club.

Leave my brothers who’ve become so important to me.

But I’ve made the offer, I can’t pull it back.

Hating that she’s indicating the conversation is over, and there’s nothing more I can do, I take a step toward the door, but before I get there, she calls me back. When I turn, she’s staring at my cut as though it’s a snake poised to strike her.

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