Page 77 of Avenging Devil: Part 1

She gets me to the point where I question why I’m automatically painting them all with the same brush. Despite my fears, some of the men seemed to be such characters, I start leaning toward wanting to meet them. Her words make me think of Niran in a new light, rather than dismissing him because he’s a biker, and to wonder whether the man I saw without the cut was no different to who he is once he’s wearing it.

She wears me down, one sentence after another, one paragraph after the next. When she sees me weakening, she plays on my fears. That Duke is searching for me was a certainty. That he might have the ability to hone in on where I am, a strong possibility. It’s a matter of when, rather than if he catches up with me.

I feel physically sick at the reminder he’s waiting in the wings to come reclaim his property, and that he clearly hasn’t, as I’d hoped, given up.

When she sees me falter in my objections, she acts fast, instructing me to pack a bag of necessities, and I find myself doing exactly that, such is the force of her personality.

Her suggestion, though, that I follow her in my own car rather than ride in hers, I welcome. That alone had reassured me, having the advantage, I won’t be trapped and could leave under my own steam if I don’t like what I find. Unless my car falls apart, which is far from unlikely, even after Niran had had it fixed. It had only been given a reprieve, not a new lease on life.

Being faced with Patsy’s powerful personality and persuasive techniques was one thing, but alone in my car, following her through the streets of San Diego, I begin to have second thoughts. Third ones and fourth soon follow as she takes a turn and starts heading out in the direction of the mountains.

Duke had driven me to their isolated clubhouse. Hell, he’d persuaded me I was going to my wedding reception. And I, gullible fool, had fallen for his lies.He’d groomed me for months and still I couldn’t tell what an asshole he was. An afternoon chat with Patsy has me similarly throwing caution to the wind.

Am I destined to repeat the same mistakes over and over?

Maybe I’m stupid, but somehow, even though a large part of me wants to yank the wheel and zoom off in a different direction, I keep driving in the wake of the Satan’s Devils’ president’s old lady as if I were being towed by an unbreakable thread.

I want so much to believe her. I’ve been on my own for so long and have been through so much that I’m tired and want someone to guide me. Since I’d lost my baby, I’ve been adrift, just going through the motions, and not thinking about my wants and needs. Misery and depression have settled over me like a brain fog. Someone pointing out a direction to me is almost refreshing.

Duke told me what to do. So did his brothers. What makes me think this club would be different?

I’ve no way of knowing, but still, despite all my doubts, I continue to follow Patsy’s car.

Am I that desperate I’ll do anything just to have friendly faces around me? No, of course I’m not. But people affiliated with this club have apparently proved they can set up my new identity, and from what Patsy said, are already setting out to do so again. This time, knowing the Wolves’ capabilities, maybe they’ll do so more carefully.

But how were there holes in their plan? What led Duke to me?

How can I trust the Devils? It could be a trick.Even now Duke could be waiting for me, laughing like a loon that I’m driving to him, delivering myself on a platter.

What if I enter their clubhouse to find he’s wormed his way in there?I know how charming he can be, he could have gotten them onside by fooling them.

I whimper, realising there’s a huge risk Patsy has been lying to me. That this MC will turn out to resemble the one from which I’d escaped, and all I’m doing is letting myself be ensnared and returned to the man I’ve been free of for months. They could be working for him, even if Patsy herself is innocent. Bikers don’t keep women in the know.

I should turn off, disappear. Go where no one would be able to find me.

My sweaty hands clutch at the steering wheel, my heart beating so fast I can hear the thumping of blood in my head. If I turned this car, where would I go, what would I do? I haven’t enough money to start somewhere new. The only ID I have is in the name of Saffie Jones, and Patsy’s told me Duke knows my alias.

My parents?

God, I hadn’t contacted them for years, not my choice of course, but Duke’s. I haven’t a clue what Duke had wanted from them, what benefit he’d gained by marrying me, only that it probably came down to money. If he’d used me to extort funds from my father, I doubt he’d have ever forgiven me. By ignoring the warnings of my parents, I brought it all down on my own head. My father might turn me away from his door. I couldn’t take the chance he wouldn’t nor cope with the disappointment if he did.

Would Mom be able to see past the fact that I’d left my legal husband? I’m sure she’d known all along that my first husband was unfaithful to me, but in her eyes, marriage vows mean for better or worse, never mind how bad the latter can be. Would that still apply, even though they had no love for the man whose ring I used to wear before I threw it away, and who I promised to love forever? Would it apply when he didn’t, and never had, loved me?

At the worst, they might tell Duke where I am if only to reunite husband and wife.I can’t risk it.

No,I laugh mirthlessly at myself, instead, I’m putting my faith in a club full of bikers.I wonder if I need my head examined. Probably.

Before Duke, I’d been a sociable woman with a wide circle of girlfriends. Some had taken themselves off once they’d seen the man I’d hitched my wagon to.The joke’s on them,I’d thought at the time, convincing myself I’d seen deeper depths to Duke than they had. Any friends that remained, Duke had chased off.

I have no idea where any of them are now, whether they have their own families or what they’re doing. I can’t call on friends out of the blue when I’ve not seen or spoken to them for five years, and I certainly can’t depend on them.

My loneliness, together with my lack of options, keeps me following the car in front of me, while acknowledging to myself, if I were in a better place mentally, if I hadn’t had such a recent and devastating experience, possibly I’d never have accepted Patsy’s invitation. But in my current state, the thought of anyone being there to help with my problems is too tempting to ignore.

One last moment when I could drive straight on instead of turning where Patsy indicates, but instead of taking that route, I blindly follow as she enters through gates guarding what looks like an old airfield. It’s seeing the gate sliding shut behind me and the steel fencing reminiscent of the Crazy Wolves’ compound that starts my brain screaming,what have I done?

I should never have come.

My car barely runs, it’s certainly not capable of ramming through metal gates. I’ve lost my chance. All I can do is pull up beside Patsy’s car. I’m trembling, my fingers fumble as I try to take the key out of the ignition. I feel sick and delay so long getting out, that in the end she has to come coax me.

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