Page 48 of Avenging Devil: Part 1

Curtis pulls up and parks, and stays sitting in the cab, Wrangler, taking his cue, also stays put while I help Saffie out. They wait until we reach the main door of the apartment building. When I turn and give them a dismissive wave, Wrangler shakes his head, then Curtis drives off.

Seeing Saffie eyeing the stairs with trepidation, I gather the fucking lift is still not working. Inwardly groaning that I’m going to again put strain on my leg, I sweep her in my arms and carry her. I swear she’s lost weight even in the short time I’ve known her. Then, I want to smack myself in the head for the thought.

Of course she has. She’s lost her baby.

Chapter Sixteen

Saffie

Iended my pregnancy.

Now I’m staring at the same front door I walked out of hours earlier, but everything’s different. I’m not the same person who left. I feel so damn empty.

I’d walked into the hospital knowing my life was about to change, and not for the better. I’d thought I’d made the right decision. I thought I could be strong. But when it was over, I had nothing but regrets, and an overwhelming sense that what I’d done was wrong.

I stand on the threshold of my apartment, fearing stepping inside. Frightened of the person I’ll find in there, and I’m not talking about the man at my side, it’s me, who I don’t recognise.

I’d left the hospital surprised when the skies didn’t open and a bolt of lightning hadn’t come down to strike me. How could a woman do what I had done?

Distraught, I’d headed in the general direction where I’d left my car, tears blurring my vision. I didn’t care when a figure came close, only hoping they’d leave me alone. It’s only when he drew nearer that I realised who was there.

My worst nightmare. A biker. It didn’t help that I recognised it was Niran, it was his cut that I saw at first. Fear blasted into me, and I followed my initial instinct to run.

He stopped me and spoke. I couldn’t tell you the words that were uttered or whether either he or I made sense. Maybe it was my desperation, maybe it was because I knew I’d nothing more to lose, or that any punishment dealt I’d deserve, but my resolve crumbled and I took the only comfort on offer, that I could find in Niran’s arms.

I heard his voice, calming like the trickling of a brook, telling me for this moment, I wasn’t alone. Selfishly, I lapped up all that he was giving me. How my heart was still beating, I’d never know, but somehow, in this man’s arms, I found some strength to go on, or at least the will to get myself home.

And thank God he’d been there as it turned out. When my car broke down, I was incapable of doing anything other than letting him take charge. Will I see my car again? I strongly suspect it was men from his club who’d come so fast, and they can steal it and break it for parts for all that I care.

“Are we going in?” Niran’s voice breaks into my reverie.

I startle. While I’d been daydreaming, he’d opened my door.How?My keys are on the same fob as that for my car, and those were taken with the vehicle. I glance at him suspiciously, then realise the key is in his hand, and he had the forethought to remove it.

“Come on.” He puts his hand to my back so gently, I’m only just aware of his touch encouraging me forward.

There’s my Kindle on the table, just where I’d left it. A glass I’d used for water last night is still on the side. The curtains are open, just as I’d drawn them earlier. My home is the same, but it’s not. I feel like I’ve walked into another person’s house.

I take one step, then another. Then like a wave crashing into the shore, anguish hits me like a physical wall. A wail bursts out of me, and I sink to the floor, curling in a fetal position as I start to bawl. I rock back and forth, the pain so devastating, so debilitating, I can’t see how I’ll ever survive.

Crouching beside me, his hands reach out then withdraw as his eyes search my face. “What do you need, Saffie? Do you need to lie down? Something to eat or drink? Painkillers?”

I want my baby back. But he’s lost to me now. I gasp in air as the brutal reality hits me.My child is gone.Niran wants to comfort me, but there’s nothing he, or anyone can do now.

I wail once more, unable to do anything to stop sobbing.

A hand rests on my shoulder, but he says nothing more. He just positions his legs more comfortably and settles beside me on the floor.

I cry until I’ve no tears to cry anymore, and all the while those fingers so gently touching my shoulder seem like an anchor, keeping me from breaking completely.

Thoughts of him being a biker flee. If his hand can ground me, I want more.

“Will you just hold me?” I try to tell myself I’d take advantage of anyone, but have to admit for some unknown reason it’s Niran who keeps me drawing breath in.

Though even in the state I’m in, I question my sanity, forcing myself to look at the cut he’s laid down so carefully.Any port in a storm. That’s all this is.I deserve everything that’s coming to me.If bringing Niran back into my life brings Duke to me, so be it.

Without a word, Niran gets to his feet, bends, then lifts me, moving me over to the sofa, then sits beside me. His strong arms surround me, pulling my head against his chest. There we sit in silence, me selfishly enjoying this temporary closeness of another human being.

We could have sat for minutes, or maybe an hour, I couldn’t say precisely, but Niran seems to understand I need time. I feel numb, as though my mind doesn’t want to acknowledge what I’ve done. I could have stayed there forever, but when Niran’s phone rings, he gently pulls his arms away and stands up.

---