Page 84 of Hawk's Cry

If I felt emotional minutes earlier, I’m doubly so now. I glance up to see all eyes are now on me. There’s one thing puzzling me. “When did you all agree to this?”

Peg snorts. “While we were questioning Archangel. Seemed as good a time as any to have an impromptu church.”

“Particularly as he ranted and raved every time your name was mentioned. Mental torture at its best.” Blade smirks.

“Thought he was going to go into convulsions at one point.” Joker chuckles.

“Course I had to cut his tongue out after a while,” Throttle says, cleaning his nails with a knife. “He kept shouting us down.”

“You going to put that on or not?” Wizard, no, Prez, bellows.

My greedy eyes land on my cut. My hands inch toward it. I notice I’m shaking as I pick it up, and when I slide my arms through the holes, breathing in the distinctive smell of oil and leather I make a vow and voice it out loud. “I won’t let you down.”

“Of course you fuckin’ won’t, Hawk.” Prez lets his stare land on me, then looks around. “Moving on. We can cross off Archangel from our list now.”

“His associates going to cause us a problem?” Hound asks, his brow furrowing.

“Nah.” Mouse glances at prez and continues at his chin rise, “Archangel was too busy dodging the feds to be able to set up any type of organisation that’s likely to carry on without him at the helm. I’ll keep listening to the chatter, but it’s gone silent on that front now. I’m not even sure he got any of the true Real Americans to stand by his side. Sounds like just a local group of wannabe supremacists supported him last night.”

“And that Tucson cell is dead and gone,” Throttle notes. “Anyone who comes for our families will not get a second chance, which they found out last night.”

I nod, completely on board. There are clearly no survivors left from last night. Something I’ll lose no sleep over, though it seems I’d missed some of the fun.

“It’s been a long day.” Wizard brushes his hand over his face, as though to emphasise his words. “If no one’s got anything urgent, I say we go get a drink and celebrate Hawk’s return.”

“Seconded!” Rock yells loudly.

Joker fist bumps Lady, and others show they’re in full agreement with that.

It’s later, when I’ve just gone to the bar to get my second beer, Dad comes up. He rests his hand gently on my shoulder.

“You doing okay?”

I know to be honest now. “Better,” I tell him. “Still got fears swirling around in my head.” I shudder. “What if I’d been so up my ass, I hadn’t called Archangel, or if I hadn’t been able to act convincingly? What if I hadn’t come up with a plan and told Wizard?”

Drummer tightens his grip. “Don’t you think we all feel that shit? Years back, when your mom disappeared, I went through hell after I’d gotten her back. It’s natural to go through the what-ifs and have nightmares when everything goes to shit.”

“How did you cope?”

“By holding her tight and thanking fuck she came back where she belongs. By swearing nothing bad would ever happen to her again. And you know what, Son?” I raise my eyebrow. “Shit never did. Oh, the compound’s been threatened like last night, and there was the time I sent her away, when Ella and Slick got married.” His eyes glaze slightly as he remembers. “Fuck, I haven’t thought about that in years.”

“Thought about what?” Heart’s come up alongside, motioning to Butcher for a beer.

Drummer snorts. “When you were out of your head and Sam and I were looking after Amy. Keeping her out of the hands of her doped-up grandmother.”

Heart gazes at me for a moment, then takes the bottle the prospect has just handed him, and raises it toward me. “Guess I do understand, Brother. I couldn’t see a way back through my grief, but I made it.”

“Before I was born, Brother.” I wink.

Heart shakes his head. “I’d rather you didn’t remind me.” He raises his chin to us, then walks off.

“Got a couple of things to say to ya, Hawk.” Dad waits until I meet his eyes. “One, I’m not going to get comfortable seated where I am around the table, but counter wise, I’m in no hurry to step down. You take as much time as you need, Son. Just let me know when you want to take up the mantle again.”

“What if I’m never ready?”

Drummer purses his lips. “Just take it a day at a time, Hawk. One day at a fuckin’ time.

“Hey, Eli.”

---