Page 3 of Heart Mended
She points. My eyes follow the line of her finger. Beyond the fence of the compound, the ground is still slightly blackened, evidence of the wildfire that had come so close. New growth is coming through, but the damage can still be seen.
“Will the fire come again, Daddy? Like the ones on the TV last night?”
Yeah, there are nasty fires burning in California. Again. I’d changed the channel when I’d seen her watching, but clearly hadn’t been quite quick enough.
“Hey, short stuff. Don’t worry your head about it, okay? Daddy will keep you safe, I promise. I know the fire was scary, but the firefighters kept it away, didn’t they?”
Fuck, but that had been hard work. Days I don’t like to remember. When all we did was clear the firebreak and put out small fires caused by burning material blown by the strong winds. Daytime had become night, the roar of the wildfire burning sounding like a freight train. I’m not surprised Amy had been frightened. I’d been scared myself. Especially when, in the midst of it, those twins had decided it was time to enter the world.
Her lip trembles. “I don’t want our house to burn down.”
“If fire comes, it comes, sweetheart. We’ll do the same as we did last summer, stop it getting too close, but even if we lost the house, Amy, those are just things. Mommy, Jacob, Isabel, you and me, that’s what’s important to protect. I’ll always keep you safe, you know that, don’t you, sweetheart?”
As I reassure my child, I’m sick to my stomach that in the end, I might be powerless to help, just like I’d been when Crystal was murdered.
“Daddy!” An indignant voice, and a tugging at my hand makes me realise I’ve tightened my fingers around Amy’s a little too much. Releasing my grip, I wish I could hold on to her forever, keep her close and never let her out of my sight.
It hadn’t always been that way.
“Come on, little one. Time to get back. Grunt’s had enough exercise for one morning.”
She reaches up her arms. Amy might be getting older and bigger, but she still loves to be carried by her dad. It’s no effort at all to reach down and sweep her up, marvelling at the trust of a young child.
She sits on my hip, making no effort to hold on, forcing me to do all the work. My strong arms hold her securely as she leans almost fully back and calls out, “Grunt.”
The dog bounds over at the sound of her voice.
“Heart, babe. Thought we’d get breakfast in the clubhouse.”
Marc’s walking down to meet us, her progress slowed by a clean and fed baby balanced in each of her arms. They’re getting bigger now, and heavier. Both have learned to walk, but mostly prefer the easier mode of transport offered by their mom. Or their dad. Either parent would work.
“Mommy,” Amy yells excitedly, as though she hadn’t just seen her only minutes before. I smile down into her hair, remembering the first time she’d called Marc that. My reaction hadn’t been good—I’d sent Marc away, accused her of appropriating a title that belonged to another. Yeah, we might have gone through hell to get where we are today, but it had only made us stronger.
Once I had my head on straight, I knew how lucky I was that Amy took to Marc at first sight. Marc’s done her best to keep Crystal alive for her, but I know my daughter’s memories of her real mom are fading. While I may regret it, in my heart, I know that it’s right. I’m grateful Marc stepped into that role for her, blown away by the size of my woman’s heart that anyone seeing us would know she loves Amy, as much as the babies she birthed herself.
Amy wriggles, now wanting to get down. After I let her slide down my body, it’s natural for me to reach out and take the nearest bundle, which happens to be Jacob, from Marc. In a similar unrehearsed movement, Marc’s free hand is there for Amy to now hang onto, while she simultaneously makes sure Isabel is firmly balanced on her hip.
“You ever worry it might come again?” I lean down and whisper into Marc’s ear, my head jerking to the burned scrub around us. Amy’s concerns and the nightmare from last night bring my worries to the fore.
Her eyes narrow. “Maudlin thoughts today, lover?”
Moving my body slightly in front of her, I make her halt.
“I don’t, can’t, won’t lose any of you.”
Her eyes narrow. She gives a pointed look down at the little girl holding onto her hand, thumb in mouth, looking up at us, her parents. A quick side-to-side movement of her head lets me know this conversation isn’t for now.
“Amy.”
At the sound of the VP’s three-year-old daughter’s excited voice, Amy leaves us without a second look and runs to Olivia. Eli, Prez’s son, only a month or so younger, not far from her side as always.
Sam and Sophie have got shit for the children organised already. Marc happily leaves the twins with them. They’re eager to get down and start playing with their toys. All the paraphernalia around makes the MC clubhouse nowadays look more like a nursery during the day. It’s good for Amy to grow up here, cousins to play with and keep her amused. That’s why we elected to build our house at the top of the compound. Already she’s on her tummy trying to interest the younger kids in some game.
I’m free to follow my woman into the kitchen.
“Heart?”
Or would have been, had my prez not waved me over.
