Page 23 of Ink's Devil

We’re at the top of the stairs and starting off down a hallway with doors to the right and the left. Ink stops at one and opens it.

He doesn’t let me down when we’re inside, instead, he twists so I fall on my back on the bed, then immediately his body comes down over mine pinning me to the mattress.

He’s got the muscles I don’t, so has no problem overpowering me. He yanks on one of my hands, raising it over my head, then there’s a snick. Then he does the same to the other and a second similar noise sounds. I pull on my arms, but they’ve been secured. I’m enraged.

I buck, he moves off.Yes!But it’s only to fasten my left ankle to the foot of the bed before I realise what he’s doing. Now knowing, I kick out my last free limb, uncaring whether I catch him in the balls. But he jumps out of reach, then comes back in, easily catching it and seconds later, that leg’s captive as well.

“Handcuffs and leg restraints? Really?” I rattle the chains securing my wrists and feet. Yanking on them so hard they hurt, but they don’t budge an inch. I try again, I’m going nowhere. So, I open my mouth and scream, “Help!” as loud as I can.

“Fuck it, woman.” Ink opens a drawer by the side of the bed and takes something out. He waves it threateningly in front of me. My eyes widen as I recognise from books I’ve read,a ball gag.“I want to talk to you, want you to listen. You gonna shut up and let me? Or do I use this?”

“Let me go, Ink. Damn you to hell and back.” I feel sparks fly from my eyes. “Untie me now. You can’t keep me prisoner on the bed where you had God knows how many women over this past week.” Then I increase the volume. “Help! Help me someone!”

He leans in menacingly close, that implement he’s holding approaching my face.

“You can’t gag me—”

He proves that can’t doesn’t appear to be in his vocabulary.

“Mmm humph.” I try to speak but can’t form words, or scream for help. Unease goes through me; my rage subsides to be replaced by fear.

“Oh, fuck, Beth.” His eyes soften, picking up my anger has turned to something else. “I’m not going to hurt you. I just need you to listen for a moment, okay?” He brushes his hands back through his hair and interlocks them behind his head. “Yeah, you heard right. I fucked the whores. Bella, I fucked over the pool table. Titsy in the kitchen but that stays between us, Jeannie would have my hide if she knew. Breezy and Sheila with Mace in his room. Perhaps I did Tulia in here, but it’s not what you think.”

With each name he mentions, my eyes open wider. With every admission, tears start to leak. I knew I could easily give this man the power to hurt me, what I hadn’t realised is that I already had. I’d told myself over and over that there was no point daring to hope that Ink hadn’t really meant the words he’d said to me, but deep down I’d held on to the foolish dream. I thought I came here with little expectation, but I admit now that I had, deep down, hoped I hadn’t been the only one to remember how special the night of Mel’s wedding had been.

Our interaction last weekend which had been such a revelation to me had meant nothing to him.

Perhaps it’s lucky I can’t talk. I’m torn between spitting fire at him and accusing him of being a manwhore, but they would be wasted words. I knew what he was, it’s not his fault I’m upset. It's no one's fault but my own, thinking he was different.

But it’s hard to keep quiet. “Mmm mumph.” Though my indignance is muffled by the gag.

He shakes his head. “I know, I’ve upset you. Beth, I don’t know, fuck. This is new to me.” His eyes settle on mine. “Seems I care. I fuckin’ care that I’ve hurt you. Why?” He barks a laugh. “I don’t have fuck all idea why. I told you exactly what I wanted last week. I told you what I do and who I am. I hit it and beat it. And I don’t fuckin’ lie or hide shit.” Now he sits on the bed and puts his head in his hands, his palms rubbing against his cheeks. “I had no expectations of seeing you again, but you had to walk into my fuckin’ club, didn’t you? Had to taunt me with your delectable fuckin’ curves, legs which go on for weeks. Had to get my cock as hard as steel with just one look at you.”

I try and make another sound.

He’s not finished. “When I saw you, saw my brothers sniffing around, I knew I wanted another chance. I swear, I wouldn’t have lied to you. I would have told you myself what I’d been doing. Would have tried to explain, but Jay took that chance out of my hands. I knew you wouldn’t listen, so that’s why…” He waves his hands to where I’m lying trussed like a Thanksgiving turkey.

I shake my head vigorously trying to dislodge the gag. I can’t.

“Fuck, how can I explain if I don’t understand it myself.” His head moves slowly side to side. “I’ve been here four years, babe. For three of them I’ve been fucking the whores. Even before then when I fucked civilians, it was only ever once then I moved on. A fuck was a fuck, nothing more nothing less, I didn’t get attached to them, and didn’t want anyone to latch onto me. But when I fucked you?” A look of disbelief covers his face. “Fuckin’ amazing. Never came like that before, not so many times nor so hard. Fluke? The wedding? I didn’t know what it was. So yeah, I fucked the whores. Trying to get back the satisfaction I’d always felt before. But it’s gone. Seems there’s only one woman my cock wants.” He touches his length in case I hadn’t understood. “Hell, woman, you’re angry and rightfully so. But seeing you like this? Tied up on my bed? Fuckin’ incredible. I’ve dreamed about this all week and thinking of you was the only way I was able to get off. I’m going to take the gag out now. You gonna scream?”

Scream for help? No. Rant and rage? Yes.He tried to fuck me out of his head?I suppose the only comfort I can take is that that strategy seems to have been a failure. Maybe in his twisted biker way his rationalisation makes sense.

He’s explained. Now it really is over. I’ll find my purse—where the hell did I leave it?—gather my dignity and go. I’m not staying in someone’s bed which should rightly have a turnstile on it.

Resignation must show on my face, as he reaches for the ball gag and unbuckles the strap. I have to swallow back the saliva that’s pooled around it. Gently, Ink takes a tissue and wipes off some that’s trickled out.

I wait for him to undo the restraints, but he makes no move to do so.

“Untie me, Ink.”

“Babe.”

“Ink, don’t babe me,” I try to snap, but there’s a catch in my voice.

Abruptly he stands, giving me his back. “I hurt you, Beth. That’s the last fuckin’ thing I wanted to do. That’s why I don’t do this.” Going to the door, he leans his head against it, knocking his forehead gently against the wood. “I have no fuckin’ idea what I’m doing. Censure me all you like, but this past week, I was doing what I always do. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I fucked hoping it would help. Didn’t know any better.”

I wouldn’t have known if Jay hadn’t opened her mouth, unless he’s being truthful when he says he would have told me. I close my eyes and think. He’d made me no promises; how can I criticise how he spent his time? Why should I worry about what coping mechanism he used? Though maybe it’s important he had to employ one.

---