Page 43 of Devil's Dilemma

She digests that. “What can I do to help? You say it wasn’t planned. Do you intend on keeping it?”

“Yes,” I say firmly. There isn’t one doubt in my mind. “But I don’t know anything, like whether I can drink coffee, what I should be doing, what vitamins I should be taking…”

“Whoa, hold up. I can certainly help. You know my story? I didn’t have the best pregnancy.”

I recall hearing she’d been raped. Theo isn’t Demon’s son, but he couldn’t act more like a father to him.

“Thing is, Mel, we can’t always control how or when we get pregnant, but we have to deal with it when it happens. I know you must be missing Skull terribly, but the men and old ladies in the club will step up and help. One thing to remember, you’re not on your own.”

“That’s what Pyro told me. But I can’t understand it. Skull was a member, not me.”

“While Skull’s gone, everyone will step into his shoes to help you. Whatever he’d have done, they’ll do for you. You got a doctor’s appointment? Someone will be there with you.”

But they won’t hold me in the night, they won’t love on me. And, if Skull,heaven forbid,doesn’t return, won’t be there to be a father to my baby.

“I feel so disorientated, Vi. One moment I thought I was in a relationship with the man I loved. Next it appears he’s walked out on me, and now I’m having his child. A child he may never know.” I sob out the last word, then fight to regain control of myself.

She frowns. “Let’s break this down. First, you don’t know what happened. You don’t know that he left you. Second, yes, you’re pregnant and you want this baby.”

“With everything that I am. Might not be good timing, but yes, I want my son or daughter.”

She raises her eyebrow. “Even as a single mom?”

Again, I’m positive. “Yes. Vi, you say I’ve got the club behind me. I’ve also got parents. If I’m struggling, I know they’d help.”

“They in Pueblo?”

“Denver.”

“You thinking of going to them?”

Am I? I examine my feelings. Right now, my explanation would indicate I’m a failure, that my man left me pregnant and alone. I’d rather go to them when I can give them some firm information. Like why Skull left, where he’s gone, and whether he can, or intends to, return home.

“Not until I know what’s happened,” I sum up. “I, er, I don’t know what to tell them.”

Leaning over the table, she pats my arm. “In the meantime, you’ll have us. Want me to set up an appointment with my OB/GYN?”

“Is it too early?”

“What are you, four or five weeks?”

“Thereabouts.”

She thinks for a moment. “I’ll make it for a week or so’s time. In the meantime, I can talk you through the basics. No, or very limited, caffeine.”

This is going to be a very long nine months. No, not nine, I realise. One has already passed.

“Stress isn’t good for the baby, Melissa. I know it’s hard but try to think positively. The club is doing everything possible to find your man and get him back where he belongs. There’s nothing you can do that they can’t. Please, try not to worry.”

Good advice, but probably impossible to follow. Not worry about my man? How on earth could I do that?

“You coming back inside? I’ll tell Mo her grandma cuddles with Theo will be restricted if she’s not nice to you.”

I laugh, as I’m meant to.

“You know,” she adds, shrewdly, “it’s early and people don’t normally announce it so soon, but in the circumstances, as you don’t have your man to share it with, if I were you, I’d let people know you’re expecting. That way, if you start getting irritable, everyone will understand.”

I really hope I don’t start acting like a prima donna, but who knows what pregnancy hormones will do to me? I’m in uncharted waters from now on.

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