Page 16 of Demon's Angel

Having had to do it myself, knowing that Theo might go through something similar when he’s older, briefly I wonder whether I could one day help her son come to terms with his background, then dismiss the notion immediately. Violet and Theo will probably be far away by then, living their own lives, having nothing to do with an outlaw biker. That’s the gift I aim to give them, a chance to be free from fear, and a leg up in life. I’ve got some money saved—what does a confirmed bachelor who lives in the compound have to spend it on? I’ve three bikes already, that’s more than enough when I can only ride one at a time.

A tear rolls down her cheek. My impulse is to wipe it away, but my fear is I wouldn’t stop there. I gentle my voice as I ask, “When did you find out you were pregnant? And more importantly, how did he find out? Why did you tell him?” I’m burning to know who it was, my brain already questioning which method to use when I take him out. Not a bullet, no, that would be far too easy. But I need to know the extent of his crimes first. Once she gives me a name, it will be hard to refrain from immediate action.

Her head moves again, this time, up-and-down. “As I said, I tried to blank it out, tried not to think about it, tried to forget what had happened. Obviously I stayed well away from that part of town. I didn’t want to risk seeing him, it would only have reminded me how stupid I’d been. Mom was getting steadily worse, even Vicky was having trouble dealing with her on the worst days, so I told myself I’d hold off on getting a job as she needed me. Vicky started to come in everyday whether I paid her or not. Dad had left some savings; I tightened my belt to eke out what I had. It wasn’t too bad.” A quick self-deprecating grin fleetingly appears. “I’d had enough experience of being a student, then struggling to maintain the apartment in New York on just my wage.”

A quick blast of anger. I should have been there to help her. Nathan wouldn’t have allowed her to struggle.

“I was so taken up by Mom. Taking her to doctor’s appointments, desperate to find something that could help her, but whatever they could do wasn’t enough. She continued that downward spiral. I was fit and well. When my next period was lighter I didn’t take notice, just thought it was the change in diet—I’d cut out a lot of meat to save money. I had a second too. There was no warning signs at all. It wasn’t until the third didn’t appear that I began to get worried. Even then, I didn’t consider I was pregnant, thought looking after Mom was stressing me out.” Her mouth opens and closes. I wonder how much she’s filtering, how much she doesn’t want to tell me. “By the time I admitted it could be a possibility, I was four months along. Sixteen weeks.” Her teeth worry her lip. Another feeling like a blow to my gut as I realise how much she’d gone through alone. “I didn’t know what to do. Because I’d been raped, my doctor explained my options to me. It wasn’t too late for an abortion, here it’s permissible up to twenty-six weeks, but Planned Parenthood has a limit of nineteen weeks. I was so close. I had the thought in my head I’d never be able to forget what had happened if I continued the pregnancy.” A small smile crosses her face. “Then I saw Theo on the ultrasound. He was a baby, not an alien growing inside me.”

Pausing, she picks up the water and drinks some. “I knew then, the only way forward was to suppress the memories of how he came into being. If I proceeded, Theo was going to be mine, no one else’s. I would be a single mom.” Another sip from the bottle, and a look of determination. “He carried my blood, his grandparents’, and Nathan’s. I was going to bring him up right. so nothing was there of his sperm donor. I told Vicky; she was great, really supportive.” A short mirthless laugh, “Of course I told Mom, but there were only brief periods when she acknowledged she was going to be a grandmother. My pregnancy was easy. The birth? Well, I’d rather not go into that. Not something I’d undertake again lightly.”

Why am I concerned at that? It’s my turn to narrow my lips as I search for an answer. Nathan would have wanted his sister to have children, that’s all. I’m looking out for her like a big brother.

“You told—him?”

“Of course I didn’t,” she snaps. “I wanted nothing from him. No money, no help, and definitely no involvement. It never crossed my mind. What woman would want such a monster to have any influence over their child?”

I can understand that. My mom certainly didn’t. Not that she had the chance. Hellfire had wasted no time killing the man who had raped her. But it’s not too much of a stretch to think had things been different, she’d have thought much the same way as Vi.

“But he knows now.” My brow creases as she nods. “How and when did he find out?”

A mirthless snort of laughter. “By accident. One day he saw me heavily pregnant and approached, and quickly put two and two together. He knew I wasn’t the kind of woman to sleep around, and, as part of the job interview process, I’d told him I hadn’t a partner.” Her cheeks grow red again, this time with pinpricks of anger. “I tried to lie, told him I was large for this stage in the pregnancy, that it was nothing to do with him. But he laughed it off. Said it was easy to prove with a simple blood test when the baby was born. I was so scared. The baby was mine, not his. Who’d want a man like that anywhere near a kid?”

Why the fuck hadn’t she sought help? Come to me? But why should she? I’d had no physical contact for nine years, didn’t even know she was in Pueblo. It follows she didn’t know where I was either, and, as I hadn’t followed up on my promise to Nathan, probably hadn’t thought I’d care. She’s so wrong. I care, too much. Her words are gutting me, and not just because of her relationship to my friend. What happened to her would be a nightmare for any woman.

“I went to the authorities then.”

Her comment surprises me. So does the look on her face.

She nods to confirm it. “I hired an attorney. Not that I could afford the best, but Vicky helped. The first attempt was to get him convicted of rape. In Colorado, all parental rights are blocked if there’s a rape conviction.”

“But he wasn’t convicted?” If he had been, she’d have nothing to worry about.

“No. His story against mine, just as I’d always thought. I had my whole personal history laid out in that courtroom. I’d been a student, Dave.” I let her use of my government name pass. “Yeah, I’d had one-night stands, and he had the money to investigate me thoroughly. There were snide glances exchanged with the judge, which led me to believe there was something between them. The case was dismissed.”

“With no conviction, you couldn’t deny him parental rights?” That doesn’t sound right to me. Okay, so if a man impregnates a woman he’s got some responsibility and should pay for his mistake, but to claim rights to a child as a result of putting his cock where it wasn’t wanted and where a pregnancy was never intended? Not only had he violated her body that night, but that violation continued for nine months as she’d carried his child. As it’s still continuing, the now drying t-shirt bearing witness to that.

“I could, but only if I could prove his involvement wasn’t in the best interest of the baby. It was easier to deny he was the father. With the background he’d concocted for me during the rape case, I thought it would work.”

One look at her face shows me it didn’t. “Who is he, Vi?”

She’s reluctant to tell me. “Someone no one in their right mind would want near a child. Even my attorney backed off when he started looking into him. Yeah, I took him back to court. He came over as a well-monied and connected man, I came over as a slut with loose morals. The judge believed him over me and awarded him rights.”

“With no proof he was the father? You have to share parenting with him?” My teeth grind together and it’s hard getting the words out.

She gives that laugh again, the one lacking humour. “Wednesday, before I met you, I was served with notice. I don’t understand why, but he’s going for full custody.”

I shudder at the look of total fear that crosses her face. Her teeth seem to clench before she continues, then the words tumble out one after the other.

“I couldn’t let him have Theo, and after my experiences in court, knew he would win if he took me back there. Somehow he’d got hold of the story of my mother burning Theo. He had access to the medical records.” Her eyes rise to mine. “He’s a monster, Demon. That’s what I’ve found out about him. Anyone else caring for Theo would be better than him.”

“That’s why you left Theo?” Her palpable terror had clearly led to her taking drastic action. What she’d done starts to make sense.

“I was in a hurry. Knew we both had to disappear, that Theo had to go somewhere where his parentage could never be traced. I researched on the internet, found a woman who’d take him; she knew a family who was having trouble finding a child through normal channels. A same-sex family. It seemed legit; we all know how difficult it is for people who live a different lifestyle to legally adopt. I didn’t hand over his birth certificate, she didn’t know his name. Once she’d taken him, even I would have had difficulty finding him again.”

Violet loves Theo. She’s assured me of that. I stare at her, unable to comprehend how scared she must have been. She’d give up her son, knowing that would be the last she’d see of him. Just who is this man that she’d risk the child’s future like that? Biting my tongue, knowing she doesn’t need me to point out the holes in her plan, that anything could have happened to him. Any story could have been fabricated and Vi in her desperation would have believed it. Theo could have been trafficked. The thought makes me go cold.

“I’m supposed to arrange an unsupervised visitation. I’ve been putting it off, obviously. How could I take Theo to him and leave him there? I was terrified his father would swoop in and take him away. I had to do something and fast. I suspected I wouldn’t get him back.” Her hands wave uselessly. “There was nothing else I could do. Just hope that whoever adopted Theo would be a good parent.”

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