Page 7 of Sabastian

The greeter said, “I know the party you’re looking for.It’s over here, Jason.”I glared at Jason for obvious reasons.

“What?”Jason said.

“You know, and we will discuss it later.”When we found the table and everyone had a drink in their hand and noticeably on the road to getting drunk, I glanced once more at Jason.“You know this isn’t my scene.I’m going home early.If you haven’t found a way home in an hour, take a cab.”

“Are you paying for it?”

“No.Whoever you fool into taking you into one of those high-priced rooms on a promise for you to suck their cock, then you should get them to pay.”

“How do you know—”

“How do I know what?That’s how you entangled me, remember.I had broken up with my partner and was lonely—”

“You weren’t lonely.You needed to fuck someone, and I was available.

“If I remember, you were always available, and it was the other way around.”I should have been on someone’s couch when I’d agreed to fuck him, I concluded.

He hunched his shoulders and strode ahead of me, then he stopped and turned facing me.

“Let’s not bring up old memories, and they were good memories for me even if you’ve soured on the idea of repeating that night.”

I rolled my eyes.It was a good thing we were in a section where the lights were low and there were too many cameras.

“Today is a new day, and we should enjoy this night,” Jason said in a cheery voice.He was always in a good mood.Hell, what did he have to be upset about?No job yet he managed to find a place to live and he wore expensive clothes even if he had to beg for them, and I offered them to him because they came from my stores.

“Jason, tell your friends I’m going to the bar—” I had to get away from all his positive vibes because it was suffocating, and I wanted to dwell in the past and think about my partner dying, and the boy I’d fallen in love with at first sight on one of those media channels.Who does that?I asked myself as I looked at Jason’s mouth moving, but not hearing him until he touched me and got my attention.

“They’re going to think you don’t want to mingle with them.That you’re too good to be in their company.”

“I don’t, and I am,” I emphasized after glancing at a dude who appeared to have his hand under the table, and unzipping his friend’s pants.If I could see that, then someone else walking would notice it also.Yeah, I heard public sex was great, but I don’t want to eat a steak and have to say no to a handshake or fist bump, or maybe climbing the ladder to reach forty had taken all the joy and excitement out of my life.

Maybe Jason had been right and perhaps I’d turned into someone I didn’t recognize.

Therefore, I nodded in the couple’s direction, offered a smile and a thumbs up to the dude getting his dick polished, and I strolled away.

These guys were young and drunk, and they wouldn’t miss me anyway.There was a piano and someone playing soft jazz music, I guessed I’d gotten old enough to enjoy something soft and easy.I strode up to the piano where there were bar stools, and a waiter came immediately.

“I’ll have Scotch.Johnny Walker Blue Label” When the waiter turned to walk away, my eyes caught sight of someone who looked like Sabastian.My Sabastian, the influencer.I narrowed my eyes.No, that couldn’t be him.I thought he said he’d be in Dallas.I must have missed one of his videos.I wondered if I should go over and ask him, but what did I look like at my age behaving like a stalker or fan.I was a fan.A desperate fan.

I tried to convince myself it wasn’t him.If I pulled out my glasses I would know for sure, but I was vain and didn’t want to take the chance he’d see me and think I was too old to flirt with him.I had my own issues I had to get over.I’d never felt like that before because I wasn’t on the dating scene.I had Brett, and there was security in knowing you had someone to hold at night and talk about life and enjoy life together.But here I sat, listening to the piano player singing “Autumn Leaves”, without the security of how Brett filled my life with his presence, and now I was searching for what I’d lost when I focused on the ending of the song.“I miss you most of all, my darling, when autumn leaves start to fall.”

When the waiter returned with my drink, I asked, “Do you know who that guy is sitting at the table near the window?”

“No.But I can ask him?”

He slid his tongue over his lips and shifted his forehead up and down, and turned, when I said, “Instead, send him a drink on me.I don’t think he’s a Scotch kind of guy, but make sure he gets his drink of choice.

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