Page 94 of Hawk's Sapphire

So many thoughts bombard me.The weight of my actions sit heavy on my chest, and I finally let them out.“I killed three people, Nathaniel.”

“They deserved what you did and more for their sins, Sapphire.You did the right thing.”He says reassuringly.

“I know they did,” I tell him.“I think what scares me is Iwantedto kill them, and I don’t feel bad about doing it.”Turning in his arms to face him, I ask, “Does that make me a bad person?I mean, I killed them and I’m glad I did.”

He grips my face in his hands, staring me straight in the eyes.“No.You did what you had to do to survive.They would’ve killed you or worse if you hadn’t done what you did.Think about what would’ve happened to Nora had you not gotten free and gone to find her?You are not the bad person in this scenario, baby.You did exactly what any of us would’ve done.You survived, and you saved that little girl’s life.You don’t ever feel guilty about that.Got me?”

“But, Nathaniel,” I plead.“I’ve joked about killing Eleanor for what she did to my uncle and Avery, but when I saw her on the dock, IknewI was going to kill her.I had already determined I was going to find her and make her pay for everything she’s done.”

“And so you should have,” he replies.He raises his hand and puts a finger against my lips, silencing me.“Do you think any of us would’ve let that bitch live if we had found her first?”His eyebrows go up questioningly.“Gabe wanted that bitch dead before he knew about Avery.Jake has been plotting her demise for months.Hell, even Caleb and Liz have said they wouldn’t mind a few hours alone with her in a room.”

When I don’t respond, he kisses my forehead, then cradles me to him, both arms now wrapped around my body as he lifts me to straddle him.“Don’t feel guilty for ridding the world of shitty people.”

“That’s the problem.I don’tfeelanything.”I lay my head on his shoulder.

Hawk stands up, taking me with him.My feet only touch the tub for a second before he lifts me up and over the edge, placing me on the rug.“Stay there,” he orders, then unplugs the tub, allowing the water to drain.When Nathaniel steps out, he reaches for two towels, wrapping one around his waist and the other he uses to dry my body, starting at my shoulders and working his way down.When he gets to my feet, he lifts my right leg over his shoulder and gently kisses his way from my knee to my center.I jump at the first swipe of his tongue.

“Do you feel that?”He smiles against my thigh, watching me.His eyes are dark with need.I meet his stare, placing my hand against his face, and nod.

“Please,” I beg.“I want to feel.I want to know this is real.That we’re real.That I’m safe and you’re mine and that all of this was not for nothing.”

When he stands up, cradling my face in his hands, my heart drops to my stomach.

He’s going to stop.He’s changed his mind about me.About us.

“Why would you think this was all for nothing?”He asks, his voice thick with anger or maybe it’s disappointment.I can’t tell.

“We didn’t save Shea.I told you I would find your sister and bring her home.I failed to do that.She wasn’t on the island.”I sob.

“Baby, Matteo and his men found her on the docks.”

“We need to go see her.”I try to push him back, but he doesn’t budge.

“No.”

“What the hell do you mean,no?Hawk!”I shout.

“I mean, no.Shea is in excellent hands.Matteo’s going to get her checked out at the hospital, and then we can see her.”

I don’t know what to say to that.

“Baby, Shea is my half sister whom I don’t know.And maybe it makes me an asshole for not being more concerned, but she’s not my priority.She never was.Youare.”He emphasizes his point by kissing my forehead, then my neck.“I want to help her, and we will.We will do everything we can for Shea, the same way everything will be done to help Nora.But they are not my primary concern.My primary concern is taking care of you.You’ve been through a lot.Your emotions are running high, and you need to relax.So, while I am sure you want to see Shea and see for yourself that your crazy-ass plan worked, I need you to let me take care of you first.Can you do that?Can you let go and just follow my lead?Trust me?”

His eyes bore into mine, and the vulnerability, the uncertainty of what my answer will be, is laid bare before me.I don’t have to think about it.I answer quickly and honestly.“Yes.”

Nathaniel’s lips meet mine in a searing kiss, his tongue dueling with mine.When his mouth moves along my jaw, I let my head fall back and do as he’s asked—I let go.Let him have his way with me.My body responds to his every touch.It’s lighting up every cell from head to toe.It may not be what a therapist would recommend after the ordeal I’ve been through, or the pain I’ve carried around all this time, but it’s what I need.

Him.He is what I need.

EPILOGUE

HAWK

It took us three days to get back to Oakridge.Partly because my woman would not leave until she saw for herself that Nora was delivered safely to her grandparents and that Shea was doing well.

I took Sadie to the hospital to see Shea.Matteo was sitting beside her bed, looking disheveled.He’s been sleeping in the hospital room, serving as her personal bodyguard since they rescued her from the docks.He’s determined to keep her with him in his penthouse, with Emelia being her primary doctor.Since her life’s work has been helping women who have been in Shea’s situation heal from their trauma, and with a not-so-subtle nudge from Sadie, I gave my consent.

I wanted to bring her back to the clubhouse with us, where we could all keep an eye on her.However, after seeing her reaction when I entered her hospital room wearing my cut, her fear convinced me being around the club would be the exact opposite of what she needed.After all, it was a group of bikers who kidnapped and abused her.Though the Kings are nothing like the Devils, it’s going to take a while before Shea believes it.

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