Page 116 of To Hell With It

‘Do you fancy a dance?’ I turned to the crowd that had formed behind us.

‘I don’t dance.’ Tim shook his head.

‘Neither do I.’ I grinned. Then – ‘For Nicola?’

I reached out my hand, and to my surprise, Tim took it.

We moved onto the dance floor, sandwiched between people who held their drinks in the air as they bopped up and down excitedly to the tune of a song I didn’t recognise.

Beer splashed over us, like waves onto the deck of an old ship trying to stay afloat at sea. It soaked my clothes, my hair, my face but I didn’t care. I held my arms up in sync with the music, swayed them next to Tim who joined in. I let the salty air stick to my skin as bodies brushed against mine, pushing me and Tim closer until I could actually feel the heat between us. I looped my arms around Tim’s neck because it just felt like the right thing to do and he didn’t stop me.

The floor bounced in tune with my heartbeat, and I allowed it to drown out the sound of my mind the way I needed it to. I let the room take me; let my body rub against Tim’s. I leant in to his ear. The music was too loud to speak so I shouted.

‘Did she leave you a sign?’

Tim looked at me intensely and then he shouted back.

‘Yes. You.’

ChapterFifty-Six

Did I sleep with Tim, you might be wondering? No, I didn’t. I won’t lie; I’d thought that maybe I might. That maybe we might help heal each other – two lost souls trying to find something, even though it wasn’t there (between us, I mean). Actually, I thought that he would have been good for Una, if he hadn’t lived on the other side of the world. He was her type, blonde, and active, confident in a non-arrogant kind of way. And she would have probably pulled him out of his grief with her no-bullshit ways. Yes, they would have made a good couple, and it was a shame they would never meet, but I’d told Tim he was welcome in Drangan any time and he’d told me he would definitely look me up if he ever found himself in Ireland. I’d set them up then, I promised myself.

I booked my flights as soon as I’d got back to Irish Eyes Lodge. It was as easy as that. There was no panic, no fear, no stress at all (probably because I was drunk) but I did it, not Una, not Niall, not Mairéad. Me.

My eyes were heavy by the time I’d sorted out my route home. And I was about to close them when my mind drifted to Niall. Why had I heard him in the cave? Why had I been so sure he was there, when he hadn’t been there at all?

I reached for my phone.

Niall? Are you there?

Yes, everything OK?

I think so.

Did you do the caves?

Yes.

Did you feel anything?

What do you mean?

It was a strange question to ask me – wouldn’t he have asked me if I enjoyed myself? What I thought of the glowworms? The waterfall? The river that ran through it?

Were you scared?

Yes, I was scared.

What bit scared you?

You know what bit – the small spaces and the dark.

I know but did anything happen?

Niall, why are you asking me that?

Did it?

---