Page 104 of To Hell With It

We swapped numbers (landlines because Bunty didn’t have a mobile) and waved each other goodbye because her accommodation was in town and mine was the other way. And I watched her walk off the same way I did at the airport, only this time I didn’t feel sad because I knew I would see Bunty again.

When I turned to leave, I glanced down at the candle that had been lit at our table. When I was a girl, I used to wait for the wax to melt down the sides so that I could peel it off while it was still warm and squeeze it until it went cold and hard and all the bits would crumble onto the carpet. I did it all the time. My mum would get mad because she couldn’t get it out and my dad would stick up for me with a wink. I liked the way my hands felt afterwards, all smooth and tingly from the heat. That was before my OCD, when life was simple and easy. When life was like a café.

I watched the flame dance; it flickered gently in the evening breeze to the hum of life all around me. I thought of Bunty’s words of wisdom – that I had always been free – then I reached across, closed my eyes and dipped my finger into the hot wax, to remind myself of who I still was.

ChapterFifty

Maybe it was the mountains – maybe they worked their magic on me too – but I got up early the next morning and felt a little lighter after my chance encounter with Bunty.

I had my breakfast outside on the swing chair and promised myself I would do the same when I got home, facing towards Slievenamon so that I could remind myself of what I’d seen and where I’d been.

I didn’t have a shower because I’d figured I’d be getting hot and sweaty walking up Roy’s Peak (which was where I was heading by the way). I planned on getting there as early as I could because Lynne had told me there’d be less mosquitos in the morning. She lent me some thick socks and a blister pack for my bag and I set off excited. When the shuttle bus picked me up just down the road from Irish Eyes Lodge there was only one other person on board. Guess who it was?

It was Tim.

He didn’t look up at me when I got on, but I made a point of sitting relatively near him so that I could get his attention without getting too close.

‘Hi,’ I said and there was a pause before he looked up (like when somebody already knows who it is but they are trying to avoid acknowledging them for as long as possible).

‘Oh, hi,’ he said with a half smile that still looked sad.

‘Are you going up Roy’s Peak too?’

‘Yes,’ he said flatly.

‘Are you climbing to the top?’

‘That’s the plan.’

‘Great, I’m meant to be doing it too, but we’ll see how things go, it’s a long way up.’

He nodded.

I should have probably taken the hint and left Tim alone. After all, I knew what it was like to want to be left alone. But I didn’t, did I. Because something about Tim just screamed out at me that he might need some kind of help.

‘Is it your first time?’

‘No,’ Tim said.

‘Oh cool, it must be good if you’re doing it again.’ I beamed but Tim’s expression stayed flat. ‘I’m doing it for a challenge,’ I continued. ‘Actually, it reminds me a lot of a mountain where I’m from – Slievenamon – that’s about seven hours too, so really I didn’t need to come all this way for this one.’

‘Mmm,’ Tim said and I had nowhere to go with that.

‘I never thought that I would be on the other side of the world climbing a mountain,’ I persisted.

‘There are lots of things that we don’t think will happen, but they do,’ Tim said and it was the most I’d heard him speak since I’d met him in the airport taxi.

‘That’s true,’ I mused.

The shuttle bus stopped and I realised I had been talking at Tim the entire time, like Rob and Ruth had (and like them, Tim hadn’t asked me anything about me). I didn’t mind though. I liked Tim. I could tell that he wasn’t really as rude as he appeared to be. I could tell there was something underneath it all. And although it wasn’t my job to find out what that was, I felt compelled to.

‘Are you over here with anyone?’ I asked as we got off. God, did I sound like I was chatting him up?

‘My wife,’ Tim said, and I felt my cheeks burn, which made it look like I was.

‘She didn’t fancy the hike then?’

‘She’s doing it with me,’ he said.

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