Page 47 of Seven Rules for a Perfect Marriage

Jack appears in the library, just as I’m trying to find a book to read. Like a proper grandfather, Ken gave me some very sage advice then implied quite clearly that he’d like me to bugger off and leave him on his own.

‘What are you doing?’ Jack asks, apparently irritated about something.

‘Oh, just sort of working out what to do with myself.’ I shrug, hoping he’s not going to point out how weird it is that I don’t know what to do with free time.

‘Right. Clay’s here.’

‘Clay?’ I reply, something fizzing in my upper abdomen.

‘Yes. About yay high? Dresses like a Danish architect despite being from Surrey? Takes fifteen per cent of our money.’

‘What on earth is he doing here?’ This has got to be big, but is it good big or bad big?

‘No idea. He said he had something to tell us.’ Jack turns to walk back into the hallway as my stomach drops to the floor.

We find Clay sitting on a sofa with his feet up. He stands and kisses me on each cheek.

‘In the nicest possible way,’ I ask, ‘why are you here?’

‘I have news,’ Clay says, beaming. ‘And I thought it would be nice to deliver it in person.’

I feel light-headed. Relief and nerves, surely this means it’s good big? Back when Jack and I first got into this stuff,we learned that there’s a sort of hierarchy with managers. They email with bad news, phone with good news. And now we’re about to find out what it means if they come halfway across the country to see you in person.

‘I heard from the Americans,’ he tells us.

I grip my hands together. The Americans have been umming and ahhing about publishing our book for months. I’ve been hoping and praying and embarrassingly even manifesting that they would, because it’s the first step to cracking America and opening us up to a massive new audience. It’s the one I’ve wanted since we first signed the book deal. ‘And?’

‘Well, as you know, they wanted to see how the sales figures here were, and how your demographic was developing internationally. And they were impressed. Very impressed. So impressed that we had a call yesterday and they’ve officially made an offer.’ I try desperately to drink this in, so that I can remember what this feels like. ‘And that’s not all.’ He pauses dramatically. ‘They’ve got a first-look deal with a production company. So they want the film rights, as well as the book.’

I scream and throw my arms around Jack and then Clay. ‘I can’t believe it!’ I gasp. ‘Oh my GOD.’

‘I haven’t even told you the number yet,’ Clay says, almost purring.

‘Oh my God, how much?’ I ask, almost scared to hear the answer.

I feel like I’m going to simultaneously throw up and burst into tears. I look at Jack next to me who’s stood there in total shock, probably struggling to process the enormity of what Clay’s just told us.

‘What does this mean in terms of next steps?’ Jack asks after a minute.

‘Good question. It’ll be another edit; they’ll want a version of the book that works for the US market. And then it’ll be a publicity tour over there, at least a month. They’re talking about doing ten cities – and I don’t want you to get your hopes up, but apparently they’re shooting for the talk shows.’ I make another very uncool squeal at this. Clay looks at me, indulgently amused. ‘In terms of the film,’ he goes on, ‘I know less at the moment, and I imagine it’ll be more of a ceremonial position than a writing one, but they’ll want you to be producers on it. And then assuming the film comes out, there’ll be a whole second wave of publicity around that, though who’s to say when that would be,’ Clay explains.

‘So what about our break?’

Clay and I both turn to look at Jack. Neither of us saying anything.

‘We’d said we were going to take a break?’ he repeats.

‘I mean, I don’t think anyone knew just how much demand you two were going to be in.’ Clay chuckles. ‘When things like this come knocking, you don’t say no. But listen, I can get you a couple of days to recover from this thing. Maybe head out to the US early? Actually, with all the edits and the next PR tour, you might find it’s easier just to be based out there for a few months.’

‘We could stay in New York for a couple of months?’ I whisper and look over at Jack. Surely theSex and the Citydream has got to be better than a break? I get that he wanted to catch his breath, but we could stay in abrownstone in Brooklyn, wander across the cobblestones for brunch, spend the weekends at the Met. He’d be living where people like Herman Melville and Edith Wharton lived – his literary heroes.

‘Can’t you see us walking along the Hudson? Long lunches at Balthazar? Martinis at the Carlyle?’ I ask, desperate for him to see the vision. It’s surely the best place we could be without children. ‘We could do weekends upstate, you can look at every picture in the Met while I’m at Bergdorf?’

‘Yes,’ he says, still a little shell-shocked. ‘Yeah, that’s definitely a plan.’

‘Right?’ I smile, wrapping my arms around him.

‘Wow. So does this make a second book more likely?’ Jack asks Clay.

---