Page 21 of Wolf's Providence

Did I love him? I wasn’t sure. I knew Icouldlove him, and I knew I was so scared of his rejection that I was probably too scared to admit, even to myself, how deep my feelings ran.

“What happens now?” I asked him, breaking the silence.

“I told him to come to you.”

Alarm crossed my face, and even in his hindered sight, I knew the shaman saw it because he laughed. “He is stubborn, child. He will come when he is ready, but he will come.”

“So…I just wait?”

The shaman stood, giving me a kind smile. “Isn’t that what you have been doing?”

He patted my shoulder before he left me in my room, my mind overflowing with all the information he had shared since he started our talk.

Whether I was ready or not, I was bound to Caleb, and the path forward, for both of us it seemed, was one we would have to face together—if he ever came back.

The shaman may believe he was on his way, but I knew the mule-headed male better, and I wasn’t holding my breath.

SEVEN

Caleb

The wind whippedthrough the trees, sharp and biting, like a warning. I pushed forward anyway, the burning in my legs a welcome distraction as the rough terrain tried to slow me down. I welcomed the pain and needed the burn to keep me grounded.

Because if I stopped, if I let myself think for even a moment, everything would crash down on me, and I would turn back.

I didn’t want to turn back.

Now that I had made my mind up, Iwantedto see Willow. I knew she would be pissed at me—hell, I was pissed at me—but I knew my girl would be fucking righteous in her rage, and I was ready for it.

The forest thinned ahead, the path opening into a clearing bathed in pale moonlight, the silver of the moon reflecting off the crisp white snow. The sight made me pause. My breathing was hard as I leaned against a tree. I caught my breath as I took in the beautiful scenery in front of me. The serenity that spread out in front of me, sheltered from the wind, brought me a moment of peace. When my breathing was back to normal, I felt for the thread that connected me to Willow. It was there, waiting patiently for me to pull at it, and all the while, it was tugging gently as if it was trying to reel me back in.

It had been doing that for days.

Was it Willow wanting me to return to her? The thought gave me hope, but at the same time, I felt myself get frustrated at the thought. My hand curled into a fist as I reminded myself that I didn’t deserve her.

I didn’t deserve this connection to her, to know she was waiting for me, despite everything I’d done. I wasn’t worthy of her. I had hurt her. Lost control and gave into the darkness inside me, and the beast had nearly killed her.

You should have killed her.

The thought tore through me, sharp and unforgiving, and I grit my teeth as I forced the thoughts back.

Forced the darkness back.

My fist slammed into the tree trunk I had been resting against, the bark splintering in protest. Pain ricocheted up my arm, but it was still overshadowed by the guilt that clawed up and twisted at my insides.

Closing my eyes, I tried to steady my breathing once more, this time for reasons much different than why I stopped. Willow’s face swam in front of me, the terror and fear in her eyes as she looked up at me as tears of pain spilled over, the way her body had gone limp in my arms as I held her close to me.

I hadn’t been ready to let her go.

She didn’t deserve to die. She’d never deserved any of this. The moment my blood entered her, I knew I’d gone too far. The second I whispered the words, I knew I had crossed a line that I would never come back from.

My life for hers, I was okay with that.

And yet, here I was, still alive. Still breathing.

Still fighting.

And so was she.

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