Page 14 of Wolf's Providence

I knew, the moment I stepped back on Shadowridge Peak, they were waiting for me.

My nightmares.

“I can still control it,” I told him softly. “I thought I had it under control, but that night—” I felt the lump in my throat. “I hurt her. I almost killed her because I thought she wasthem. I will never risk that happening again.”

“I understand.” The shaman turned to look at the moon above us. “But you didn’t lose yourself, you’re still here.” His gaze was steady. “You’re still you, Caleb.”

I was already shaking my head. “No. You don’t understand, I’m broken. Something inside of me, it’s broken. And around Willow…when I’m around her, the more I feel I’m losing myself.” Pushing my hair back, I looked at him. “I feel her blood on my hands every moment. I know how close I was to losing her.”

“Yet you left her.”

“Toprotecther!”

“From you?”

“Yesfrom me! I’m the only one who’shurther!”

“Mm-hmm. And the shifters hunting her, the ones who broke into her shop? Her home? The ones who ran her off the road and put her in the hospital? They haven’t hurt her?”

“It’s not the same.”

The shaman snorted. “Tell that to Willow. Pain is pain.”

Angrily, I stared at the flames of the fire. His words were tough, making my stomach twist at the other dangers she faced. Who would protect her? “I gave her my blood.”

“You did.” He sounded thoughtful. “Old magic that. Blood magic is dangerous for the untrained.”

“I know.” Wiping my hand over my eyes, I gave a mirthless laugh. “Iknowthe danger, Iknowhow unnatural it is, andI did it anyway.”

“Because you love her and you were scared,” the shaman’s sharp voice cut through the night. “And you’restillscared, and you left not because you caused her wounds but because youknowwhat a blood bond means.” He turned slightly so he was facing me. “And you’re afraid of facing her after what you’ve done.”

“I can feel her,” I whispered so quietly that I wasn’t sure he heard me. “Every moment of the day, I feel her.”

“And she can feel you. And it’s pissing her off,” he added with a small smile. “She’s describing it as an insufferable itch.” His smile widened. “I’d say that’s pretty accurate.”

“Does she know what it means?” I asked cautiously. I hadn’t known she would feel it too, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

“No, none of them do.” He turned back to rubbing his hands. “Old magic, very few know of it. I thought it was only shamans.”

“And grandmothers who liked to put the fear of Luna into their grandson’s bedtime stories.”

“Ahh. I see.” The shaman nodded in satisfaction at knowing how I knew the ritual. “You can never share that knowledge.”

“Why would I want anyone else to have this pain?”

“The pain dulls the closer you are to her.” For the first time since he arrived, he looked at me with sympathy. “You may have caused the wounds, but you also saved her; that’s what your blood did. There are consequences for such an act. Do you really think Willow should face them alone?”

“She has you.”

“I’m an old man, ready for Luna to call me home. I am not what Willow needs. Orwants.”

My hands curled into fists, nails digging into my palms. “And if I hurt her again? Blood magic only works once.”

“You won’t.” The shaman shook his arms before placing them over the fire once more. “Now, more than ever, you’reconnected to her. The bond you shared is strengthened, it’s ever-present. A reminder of what you’re fighting for. You feel her now. You know she is alive because of you. Your blood is hers.Sheis yours.”

I could feel my throat tightening at his words. He was right, I could feel her. Every heartbeat, every breath. Faint but constant, pulling at me to join her.

It was terrifying.

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