Page 72 of Ryder

The cops came and interviewed me, and I told them everything. They haven’t found Jimmy. They got a search warrant for the Devils Ink clubhouse, but so far no charges have been laid. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about the girls in that storage facility. Where were they planning on sending us?

I try not to think about it, but every time I close my eyes, I see his enraged face. The blows that kept coming because I had the audacity to leave him.

Without Ryder and the club, I’d either be dead, or wishing I was.

I also overheard my dad talking to Ryder for the first time outside when they thought I was asleep…

“We’ve had our differences in the past, but Luca told me what you did, and I can never thank you enough,” Dad says, shocking the socks off me. “Without your help, she’d have been shipped off to God knows where, and we would likely have never seen her again.” My dad’s voice cracks and I’ve never, ever heard him talk like this.

“She means a lot to me, but I would’ve done it anyway. Nobody should ever suffer at the hands of those bastards,” Ryder says. “Luckily we have a guy at the clubhouse who’s abetter hacker than he is a treasurer. We were able to follow Jimmy through parts of the city on traffic cameras, so we knew he wasn't at the Devils’ clubhouse.”

Of course, Razor and the club are denying any knowledge of the warehouse, or the girls.

“But it was your text message that gave you the location,” Dad says. “Your quick thinking got our baby back.”

“I’m just glad she’s okay,” Ryder replies. “We acted quickly. The shipment was leaving the docks tomorrow, though we didn’t know that at the time.”

I don’t know what happens next because I can’t see, but it sounds as if they’re hugging. The muffled gratification of my dad, and the sound of him thumping Ryder on the back. “You don’t know what you’ve done for our family. Words won’t ever be enough.”

All Ryder has ever wanted is my parents' approval. I don’t know why; they don’t deserve it after how they treated him when we were growing up.

“I’ve been a jackass in the past,” Dad says. “I was stubborn and set in my ways. I know that you were just a kid. When we caught you in Crystal’s room that night?—”

“It’s okay,” Ryder interrupts. “It’s water under the bridge. Just know that nothing happened. I would never have done something like that. I respected Crystal too much.”

“We know that now. I was just too angry and pig-headed at the time to see sense. I panicked. Crystal was our miracle baby, until we had Casey four years later. She was our princess,” Dad goes on. “When she was born, she almost died. The doctors didn’t know if she’d live or die. She had a defect in her heart…”

I feel the tears when I hear my dad getting choked up. I’ve had a couple of complications over the years, but nothing crazy.

“It’s okay, Mr. Cartwright, I get it. She’s your baby, and she always will be. I respect that. Someday, if I have a kid of my own, I hope I’m half the dad you are. You protected your kids. I wish I had that kind of parent in my life growin’ up, maybe then things would’ve turned out differently for me.”

If I have a kid of my own?Why do I suddenly see myself pregnant with his kids — a whole bunch of them.

“Call me Russell, please. And that’s just it,” Dad says. “We took our prejudices out on you. Your father stole a lot of money from us and other good people, and I took that out on an innocent kid. I didn’t just come to this decision today. It’s haunted me for years, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I truly am sorry for treating you that way. I’m ashamed, and nothing you say or do can make me feel good about what I did.”

“I appreciate that. But if I’d have found a boy in my daughter's room dressed like that, I’d have my shotgun out.”

Of course, it’s just like Ryder to make everything okay.

They both laugh.

Laugh?

My dad and Ryder laughing? I don’t understand what’s going on, but I also don’t have the strength to overthink it. What’s important is they’re getting along. I can have a relationship with my parents again. They don’t hate Ryder…

I have a lot to be grateful for. I may be a mess right now, and I’ll likely never trust anyone ever again, but I have the support of my family, Ryder, and the club.

Without them, I dread to think where I’d be.

I have so many regrets, but the main one is that I should’ve asked for help when the red flags waved right in front of my face. I knew Jimmy was isolating me, and I let him. I let him because I thought that was love. I had no clue until it was too late, and I’ll be damned if I ever let that happen to me again. He may have broken my spirit, but I’ll put myself back together again. I’msure I will. The bruises will heal, as will the broken bones, and my hair will grow back. But one thing that breaks me more than anything is the trust; the trust is gone. This man was supposed to love and protect me. He failed. He failed on more than one account. I don’t even care what the club does to him when they get hold of him.

The entire Devils Ink MC is in disarray because of the raid. I know the Rebels are annoyed because they wanted to be the ones to raid the Devils Ink, but once the police got involved, that proved difficult. I know Ryder has been like a dog with a bone, spending every waking minute when he’s not with me trying to track Jimmy down. The man has fled. What made Cash even more mad? Razor texted him letting him know this wasn’t the end of it and that he’d pay for involving the cops. He also said he’d take Rifle back in a heartbeat. That he knew what it took to be a real biker and put a bitch in her place.

I know he’s just stirring shit, and the Rebels will get their payback. And I hope they do, because Jimmy needs to be stopped. If he did it to me, he’ll do it to someone else.

I’ll never be able to thank the club enough, and Cash for taking charge of the situation. While I want Jimmy to suffer, I’m terrified of Ryder getting caught and going to jail.

I’m terrified of Jimmy finding me again, but the other things weigh more heavily.

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