Page 46 of Ryder

I grab my phone, about to text him, then think better of it. That’s all he wants. A reaction. Well, he’s not getting one. He can go take a running jump.

If I let Ryder get under my skin, it’ll be the end of me. And my heart. And I’ve already been down that road once before.

A door slams and I wake up with a start.Jimmy.

I tap my phone on the side table. It’s after three. I groan, rolling over. I hear keys scatter on the hallway table, then heavy boots on the wood floors.

Please don’t be drunk. Please don’t be drunk.

“Crystal?” he yells. I can hear the slur in his voice.

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. It’s best to pretend I’m asleep when he’s like this. An all-night poker game, drinking and God knows what else, can only spell trouble.

The door to our bedroom creaks open and he steps inside. I can smell the smoke and bourbon rolling off him and he hasn’t even moved closer.

“Crys? You awake?”

Clearly not, asshole.

I stir, only to make it believable. He often wakes me up, demanding sex, and I let him. It’s best to get it over with because when he’s really drunk, it doesn’t last long anyway. Sometimes I swear I can smell another woman on him, but it could be just my paranoid mind. I wouldn’t put it past any of those hos at the clubhouse.

“Baby?” The bed dips as he sits down. He caresses my face with one hand, then sighs.

Keep your eyes closed. Keep them closed…

“Need you.”

Jimmy is also an emotional drunk, and he’s had a shitty childhood, so sometimes it comes out when he’s not thinking straight.

I try to keep my breathing as slow and level as I can. I really don’t want to engage with him tonight. Not when my mind is right across town, where Ryder is.

He shakes me. “Crystal.”

I blink, yawning. “Huh?”

“I’m home.”

“Okay.” I close my eyes again. Then I feel the comforter peeling back. He kicks his boots off, and then I hear him shrug out of his cut, then his jeans.

If he crawls in behind me and goes to sleep, that would be the best scenario. We can talk tomorrow.

His hands slide around me when he gets into bed, then they move up my body. I tighten, not wanting him to know I’m basically flinching, but he reeks of alcohol.

“Tired,” I whisper.

“I’m not.” I feel his dick pressing into my ass and I suppress a groan. It’s not the groan of a woman who’s happy to see her boyfriend.Fucking Ryder.I blame him for putting the not-unhappy trope in my brain.

I screw my eyes closed when he peels my shorts down my legs, lines up and pushes inside me. No warning, no foreplay, nothing.

“Jimmy! Ow!” I cry, but his lips are on my neck.

“Just what you needed, isn’t it, babe?”

No.

What I need is for you to get off me.But I don’t say anything. It’ll be over soon.

I don’t know why, but tears begin to fall, and all I can think about is Ryder.

---