Page 42 of Ryder

“I couldn’t ask you to be with me, not with my lifestyle?—”

“Because you wanted to fuck other women?”

“No. That’s not it.” I lower my voice, but I also grit my teeth. “That wasn’t it, Crys.”

“No? Then explain it a little better so I can understand. I’m a little dumb.”

“You’re mad with me.”

She stifles a laugh. “Try again.”

“You are. And you know what? I’m a little mad with myself to t-tell the truth. I came to tell you the day I dropped you back at the hotel. I saw you with your friends.” I stop, trying to black out that day. The day I tried to switch off and not care. Fat lot of good that did me. “I came to beg you, for what, I don’t know. To tell you I’ll wait for you, that I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you, and it wasn’t just the sex.”

Her eyes well with tears. “Why didn’t you just try?”

“Because I’m a dick and I thought I was pr-protectin’ you by stayin’ away.”

Our eyes meet and I’ve never seen my girl look so fucking sad.

She wipes away another tear. “That was then, Ryd. We’ve both moved on. We’ve changed?—”

“Because you love this new guy?”

“No!”

“Then leave him.”

Her face drops, and then contorts. Her hands grip her napkin and I’m not sure if she’s going to tear the damn thing or throw it at my face. Maybe both. “You can’t… no, I can’t do that.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“It’s… complicated,” she whispers, looking around. “I just wish you’d have been honest with me.”

“Right, and what would you have done? Tell Mommy and Daddy you’re gonna be with me? Move to New Orleans and be my girl?”

“That’s not their decision. It’s mine!”

“Not like that matters now,” I throw back. “You’ve found Mr. Perfect.”

“Now who sounds jealous?”

“Oh, I’m more than jealous. Trust me when I say I’m gonna find out who this asshole is, and when I do, he’d better be some kinda upstandin’ citizen,” I warn.

“Or what? You’ll do something about it?”

“Not the first time, and it won’t be the last.”

“You’re being a jerk,” she fires back. “We both know it, so why don’t you just stop. Let me live my life. Don’t try to control it for me.”

I snort, folding my arms over my chest. “That’s rich comin’ from someone who didn’t even have the courtesy to tell me they’d moved.”

“You guys okay?” Luca interrupts. “You look like you’re gonna kill each other?”

I snap out of it, shifting back in my seat. She wants a fucking war? She’s gonna get one.

Even if I did have a clue she might be crushing on me, I didn’t think she was serious. I took her virginity, of course she’s going to look at me in a new light. Butlove? I didn’t fucking know. If I had, I would’ve stopped her from leaving.

“Nope, we’re fine.” I glare at her as she gives me daggers over the table.

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