Page 29 of Ryder

He grunts, his tongue licking its way up my neck. I turn and our lips meet. I cup his head as he shifts, our kisses urgent, but soon it’s not enough. He pulls out, then pulls me upright, slapping my ass cheeks. “On your hands and knees, wanna fuck you from behind.”

Oh. My. God. I shift quickly as he comes behind me. I clutch the pillows, sticking my ass out as he grips my hips and shoves back in. He’s rough, banging me hard as I cry out. “Oh, there,yes! There, Ryd…”

“Fuckin’ cock tease,” he mutters. “Comin’ in here dressed like that. I’m keepin’ those panties, and those wings. They’re mine.”

I’m spiraling fast, my breathing labored as I push back. This angle — it’s so deep. He’s everywhere. “Yours,” I whisper.

“Come for me, Crystal. I can’t hold on.”

The friction, his words, his dick plundering me with no mercy, it’s too much. I fall, crying out his name as his hips piston faster behind me. The bed is making a crazy ass noise, but I don’t care. It’s hot. Everything he does turns me on, and hearing the bed, our moans, his panting, it only makes my pleasure drag on and on. And then he stills. I feel him spurting inside me. Hot, reams of cum explode as he empties himself. “Crystal, baby, fuck, yeah.” Hearing my name like that changes things.

I love him. I’ll always love him. Even if we can’t be together right now. If he wanted that, he’d ask. He’d say something, right? But then I’d have to move, and my parents would definitely cut me off. It’d be worth it, to be with him, but then I realize how dramatic I’m being. This is just sex. We’re not together.

I want to tell him I’m his, that I’ll always be his, if he wants me. But I don’t.

I keep my mouth closed because he’s in a motorcycle club. He’s not going to wait for me, and another rejection in this lifetime would be too much.

This is all we have. Right here, right now.

6

RYDER

As fast asshe came back into my life, she’s gone again. I glance around the room, feeling conflicted. It’s only been a few hours since I dropped her back at the hotel, and I already miss her, which is ridiculous. It’s been five years.

I did fine without her before.

I run both hands through my hair. A sense of confusion washes over me. It isn’t just about what we did, or how it felt. This is Crystal. Luca’s little sister. I didn’t feel guilty before, but now it starts to wash over me. It isn’t like Luca and I have been super close since I left Greenlark; Bronco and I have been closer. But he’s still a buddy. He also doesn’t have to know.

Crystal only has today left in the city, but she’s spending it with her friends. It’ll be their last night before heading back to Phoenix. As much as I wanted to have time with her all to myself, I have to let her go. She’s still in school, and even if I did want more, I can’t ask that of her. What can I even bring to the table? I live in a shitty, one bedroom postage stamp inside an MC clubhouse. Not exactly what Crystal is used to.

I’ll make a decent income when I’m qualified, but it won’t be groundbreaking. It won’t be enough to keep Crystal in thelifestyle she’s accustomed to. As much as she might deny it, she’s an uptown girl, and I’ll always be the downtown guy. There’s no two ways about it. I’ll never be good enough for her, not in the way she needs me to be.

I sigh. The loss of her is too great to stick around here, so I gather all my clothes off the floor and do some laundry. It’s then that I scoop up the wings she had on last night, and the panties I shoved under the pillow. Yeah, I made her go home without panties on. I smile to myself. I’m a sick bastard, but the memory of her riding me with those wings on her back will stay with me for the rest of my life. Last night? It was fucking amazing. She’s always had this power over me, even if she has absolutely no clue, and it’s probably best we keep it that way. Chicks can get needy, clingy, they want more than I can give. But when I think about giving my all to Crystal, somehow it doesn’t cause that tightness in my chest I’m used to.

With her I’d be gladly in her arms every night. What’s more? I’d want to make her happy, instead of thinking just about myself.

Focus.

I shove the panties in the top drawer for the next time I get myself off — I’ll be using those without a doubt. I also hang the wings from my headboard, spreading them out so they expand from one post to the next. I’m hard just thinking about what we did…

What I took.

What she gave.

She waited.

Crystal can say whatever the fuck she wants, but we both know it’s true. And I don’t know how I feel about that.

It means something, right?

Running into her. What was it she said?Fate.

I’ve never really believed in all of that. That things happen for a reason. For me, it means we have no control over what we do; for the most part, I guess we don’t. But I know I’m not worthy enough for her. My feelings on that haven’t changed, they probably never will.

But the way she sasses back at me. We just fell back into the old banter like it was nothing. Like no time had passed at all. She looked sad when I dropped her off. I tried to keep my distance and not touch her too much, but it’s a little hard when that’s all I seem to want to do. As if it’s not hard enough to let her go, now I feel her presence in the one place that was supposed to be just mine.

I close my eyes and think about her parting words…

---