Page 3 of Ryder

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CRYSTAL

Age 16

I wake up,expecting the humiliation to be gone, but it’s not. It’s worse than ever.

How am I ever going to face Ryder again? More to the point, I’ve ruined everything between us.

He can say what he likes, but he did flirt with me, on more than one occasion.

He’s always been sweet, more so as we got older and not only that, Ryder turned from a boy to a man almost overnight. His muscular body, his bright green eyes — too pretty for a boy, with long lashes I’d die for. Then there’s his laugh. His smile. The way he looks out for me, for all of us. Somehow, for years on end, Ryder took on the role of protector, and I can’t say that I mind it.

This, however? This is humiliation at its finest.

Rejection.

His words sting, especially the ones about me being a brat. I never asked to have parents with money. I don’t think I act like I’m spoiled, but I guess he must really think that. And that does nothing for my temper. Mom says it’s my Irish blood that getsme fired up, and she might be right, but whatever happens now, I can never face Ryder again.

“Hey.”

I sit up with a start, my heart pounding as I hear Ryder’s voice from the doorway.

He came to me?

I clear my throat. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to say I’m sorry, Crys. You know I didn’t mean to push you away.”

Oh, no. He’s only going to make it worse, and now I’m going to cry in front of him.

“Go away.”

“Not until you say we’re cool.”

“Why does it matter?” My anger is masking my humiliation, but I plow on. “It isn’t like you care.”

“Can I come in?”

“No.”

He ignores me, taking tentative steps into my room, and now I’ll have the memory of him like this. Shirtless, in his boxer shorts, a contrite look on his face.

“I never meant to hurt you. You’re mad now, but in a few years’ time, you’ll see I’m not all that bad.”

“I never said you were bad.”

He drops his head, then sits on the end of my bed. I always imagined him in my room, but never like this. In my fantasies, he was doing a whole lot more than sitting.

“But I am bad, Crys. And I’m not just sayin’ this to get you to feel sorry for me. We’re different, you and I. I’m a loser who’ll probably amount to nothin’, but you have the whole world at your feet and every opportunity in the world.”

I sit up, my brow furrowed in confusion. “So do you.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not going to college, Sugar.”

“But you said?—”

“I know what I said, but kids like me don’t get to do that when they don’t have money.”

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