Page 12 of Ryder

“So you’re going to college in Arizona?” I ask when we find another table.

She nods approvingly. “Have been checking up on me?”

“Your brother mentions you sometimes; said you were studyin’ childcare.” Why I say that, I don’t know, because it makes me sound like an asshole. “I never saw you as a teacher.”

“Really? What did you see me as?”

I shrug. “I thought you hated kids.”

She snorts. “I don't hate kids. There was a time where I may have been annoyed that I had a little sister, but that passed pretty quickly.”

“What do you plan on teaching?”

“Kindergarten, but we’ll see.”

I’m proud of her. I’ll bet her parents are, too. A lawyer, a teacher and an EMT in one family.

I swallow the lump in my throat when I think about all the stuff I didn’t do. Sure, I did my apprenticeship as a mechanic; heck, Cash even helped me enroll in trade school to gain more technical experience. Eventually, I may even be able to pursue a degree once I’m certified. I’ll be the only member of my family to have any kind of college education, but that’s a long way off.

“Long as you’re happy.”

She nods. “I am. I’m making friends in Arizona. It’s different, but a world away from my parents.” I don’t miss the roll of her eyes.

“How are they?”

She gives me a pointed look. “Do you really care?”

“Not really, but your dad has one hell of a swing.”

Is it just me, or do her cheeks flush? “Well, you never let me apologize?—”

“Yeah, you did, multiple times, but that’s in the past now. They were just mad because they thought I was takin’ advantage of you.”

“I hated myself for a long time, for doing that to you.” Her eyes cast down to the table. “They wouldn’t listen, of course. Maybe it was that, or their controlling ways, but I think something inside me broke that night.”

I stare at her, unsure why she’s telling me all this. I open my mouth to say something, but no words come out.

“We had a big fight, as I’m sure you can imagine, and I said some things. The truth is, I meant them all.”

I wonder if she remembers telling me she loved me and always would. I’ve kept her text messages all these years, never daring once to text her again. It was better that way. From time to time, she’d message me, telling me about her day. And I’d read them, turning my notifications off so she wouldn’t know if I had or not. And that’s how it was for a long time. I meant what I said about getting out of Greenlark, creating a life for herself, and she has.

“Is that so?”

“Yep.” She pops the ‘p’.

“Well, we’ve both grown up a lot since then.”

“Crystal?” One of the girls tugs on her arm. “I want to dance.”

“In a second,” Crystal replies, then turns back to me. “I’m glad you’re doing okay.”

I stare at her. Fuck, she’s so pretty. But she’s Luca’s little sister. I want to ask her what she’s been doing. If she’s happy. If she ever thinks of me. But that would be dangerous.

“I am.” It’s not a complete lie. I’m happy some of the time. “What about you? Are you doin’ everythin’ you said you were goin’ to do?”

“I promised.” Her intense gaze says something else, and I don’t know exactly what that means. “I keep my promises.”

I pique one eyebrow. “I’m glad. You were always better than that shitty place.”

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