Page 101 of Ryder

I feel Ryder tense a little. I squeeze his hand — neither of us have let go of each other — encouraging him as best I can, I brush my thumb over his hand as we sit.

“Can’t say it’s been easy since I left,” Ryder says eventually. “Never knew how deep self-discovery really went until I went to therapy.”

Stu’s eyebrows shoot up. “You went to therapy, too?”

Ryder nods. He’s uncomfortable; shifting from one foot to the other, looking down at the desk. “My Prez, Cash, he’s like a father to me, and he insisted on it. I was pretty fucked up by the time I joined the Rebels MC, I’d lost my way, but he brought me back again, gave me a purpose.”

An understanding settles between them. The air that was a little thick and uncomfortable a few minutes ago, now feels lighter somehow.

“I think you hit the nail on the head,” Stu agrees. “Purpose. Something neither of us had growing up.”

“I guess we didn’t,” Ryder says. “Sometimes you luck out, sometimes you don’t.”

Stu sits back in his chair. “I didn’t have anything to do with my dad, or your mom, when I got out of prison. They’d already kicked me out long before. Sad to think I was better off on the street than in their company.” He clears his throat. “Not that I like speaking ill of the dead.”

Ryder’s tension eases as he lets go of my hand for the first time since we left the car. “You have every right to feel that way. They weren’t good people. We’re lucky we turned out how we did considerin’.”

“I’m glad you found a family in the Rebels.” Stu’s eyes flick to mine. “And with Crystal. I always knew you guys had something.”

“You did?” I can’t help the tears that well in my eyes.

His smile reaches his eyes as he nods slowly. “Yep. Could see it plain as day. Another reason I pretended to hate Ryder; to me, he had it all. I just had a drunk for a father and no prospects.”

Ryder snorts. “I hardly had it all.”

“You had friends.” Stu sounds sad when he says it, and I feel a lump forming in my throat.

“I’m sorry,” Ryder says softly. “If I were a better person back then, I should have let you join in?—”

Stu waves a hand. “It isn’t like I made your life any kind of picnic. I was an ass. For what it’s worth, I’m happy for you, for both of you.”

“We have a son,” I tell him proudly, forgetting about my earlier skepticism and doubt of trusting him. “He’s five.” I pull out my phone to swipe to my Aidan album and pull up a recent photo, turning my cell around to face him.

Stu looks at the photo with new eyes. “He looks like both of you.”

Ryder gives him a chin lift. “What about you? Married? Any kids?”

“I’ve been with my girlfriend for two years, her name’s Stacey. We want to start a family soon, after we’re married.”

I smile, seeing his face light up at the mention of Stacey. “Tell us about her.”

His smile turns into a fully fledged grin. “She’s not from around here, if that’s what you’re asking. She’s a teacher, transferred here from Maine and we got talking one day in line at the grocery store.”

“Where all good conversations happen.” I smile.

“I guess they do.”

“I was a teacher, too,” I go on. “Before I had Ade. Well, I was a kindergarten teacher, and I loved it.”

“Are you planning on going back?” Stu asks.

“Ade only just started kindergarten. It was my choice to stay at home and raise him. I help out when I can during school hours, until he’s settled. Then I might think about going back on a more permanent basis,” I say.

He nods. “Crazy where the time goes.”

“Well, we’re only here for one reason,” Ryder reminds us. “We pick up my mom’s ashes tomorrow. We’re going to scatter them at the beach.”

Stu nods. “That’s a nice thing to do, considering everything.”

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