Page 196 of Bride By Coronation

I stare at it, my body trembling.

"Fiona."

I gaze up at her.

She peers down at me. "Do you love him?"

My chest tightens to the point my heart hurts. More tears fall.

She waits for me to answer.

In a blurry haze, I nod.

She puts her hand on my shoulder, ordering, "Read the letters, Fiona." She turns and leaves my room, shutting the door.

I stare at the envelope for several moments, then open it.

My dearest Fiona,

I never knew twenty days could feel so long. Every second that passes seems to stretch longer. And I thought I knew pain, but I realize I didn't understand it until now. Nothing compares to the agony constantly clawing inside of me, digging deeper when I think it can't possibly hurt any more.

Tears drip onto the letter. I reach across the table, grab tissues, dab my eyes, and continue reading.

Since you've always been honest with me, I'll tell you the truth. I'd do anything to protect you. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. So there's no way I could have ever told you what my father did to your parents. I knew it would damage your heart, and I'd rather diethan be the cause of inflicting pain upon you.

I close my eyes, wishing he was here to hold me, knowing it's true. Kirill always put my safety and happiness before his. I sniffle and return to the letter.

Before that video arrived, I had never seen it. Yes, I was aware of what happened, but only verbally. And it was years after my father's death when I learned the truth. So, I didn't know the video existed. Naively, I decided to keep the truth buried forever to safeguard your heart, and selfishly so you wouldn't hate me.

Admittedly, I watched the scene too many times before discovering you were in New York. It tore me to pieces, and all I keep thinking is how it had to have hurt you even worse.

A new pain fills me. It's not for my mom or dad but for Kirill. I may not know how to overcome this, but he was close to my father. His own blood did this to my parents. The same man who scarred him both inside and out did the same to my family. So, his statement is a reminder that he's a victim too. And the realization cuts into me.

I continue reading.

I've never deserved you, Fiona. The moment the Omni ordered me to marry you, all I could think about was how unfair it was to you. As much as I tried to avoid the day you would realize who you're married to, it's come. I stupidly pushed it so far back in my mind that I believed you wouldn't ever hate me, but now you know the full truth, and there's no turning back.

I miss everything about you. Not seeing your smile or hearing your laugh is killing me. Don't get me startedon the inability to hold you. If I could lie in bed and spoon you for eternity, I would.

I laugh through my tears, remembering how he didn't know what spooning was, and more sadness hits me. The ache to feel him wrapped around my body intensifies. I try to finish the letter.

Most of all, I miss seeing how you look at me with nothing but love and admiration. From the first moment you pinned your green eyes on me, you looked past my flaws and only saw me. It took me a long time to believe your attraction for me, and now that it's gone, I'm an addict, jonesing to see it one more time.

I put my hand over my face, taking deep breaths, hating how much this hurts. Then I blow my nose and read the rest.

Whatever you need me to do to try and make things right between us, I will. I don't care what it is, Fiona. Please. Talk to me. Tell me what I can do.

I promise you one thing. I detest my father. I may have his blood, but I'm not him. Nor will I ever be.

I want my wife back.

Please come home. I'm still on the yacht in the harbor. I'll wait for you for however long you need.

Love,

Kirill

Another round of tears leaks down my cheeks and then nausea hits me. I run to the bathroom, hug the toilet bowl, then go to the sink and clean my face. I stare at my bloodshot eyes in the mirror.

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