Page 53 of Make Believe
“We?!” he shrieks. He runs his hand down his face, then shakes his head at me before scowling at Kadence. “One of my buddies heard on the grapevine that my old man was getting frisky at a party last night with some kind of he/she.” He snaps his attention back to me. “I told them they were full of shit and came over to hear you tell me it wasn’t true. And I findthis?What is going on?!”
Fury surges through me. How dare he use that slur against my boy. Not to mention, those events are supposed to be confidential. Best believe I will be contacting the organizers as soon as possible to register my complaint and strongly suggest they vet their guest list better next time.
But what’s done is done. The cat is out of the bag as much as I’ve been forced out of the closet. This is happening without Kadence and me getting the chance to even discuss howwe’refeeling.
Oh, well. I was always planning on leaving my heart on my sleeve and being honest about my intentions.
First, I deflect for a moment, needing more information. “I wasn’t aware that you two knew each other.”
I shoot a questioning look at Kadence, but he’s staring at the floor, vibrating all over, his hands clenched together. I can’t read him, so I move on. He doesn’t have to say anything he doesn’t want to in front of my son anyway.
There’s no point in lying. We might not have openly discussed it, but I’m certain that Logan is fully aware that his mother and I see other people. He’s not going to be the kind of child that weeps if Mommy and Daddy get divorced.
No. His horror has many layers, but that’s not one of them.
“Kadence and I did meet at a party—a few weeks ago. We made a connection. He’s very dear to me. I asked to spend more time with him, and he’s been staying in the spare room.”
Logan just frowns for a moment before wagging his finger at me. “But you arefuckinghim, correct?”
I raise my eyebrows in a warning. “There’s no need to be vulgar to my guest.”
Logan presses his fingers to his temples and sort of lurches around in a circle before addressing me again. “But you’restraight.”
I shrug nonchalantly. “Apparently not.”Beauty is beauty,I think to myself.
“With him! Of all people. Dad! Wait…”
I narrow my eyes at my son. “What is that supposed to mean,” I say, my voice dangerously low. What the hell does he have against Kadence? I don’t like his tone at all. Jesus, did Logan bully him or something?
But I don’t think he’s listening to me. He’s still wagging his finger my way, a frown on his forehead as he concentrates. “Wait…wait.Did you approach him…or did he approach you?”
“How is that any of your business?” I ask.
Logan’s jaw drops, and he lets out a hollow laugh. Kadence has been conspicuously quiet this entire time. Even now, he looks like he just wants to disappear. Where’s my feisty young man gone? If he and Logan do have a history, why isn’t he fighting back? Out of respect for me? The urge to go to him is even stronger, but my feet are still rooted to the spot.
Logan slaps his hand over his eyes and laughs again, louder and meaner. “Oh my fucking god. He approached you. He seduced you. He made yougay.”
“No one can make anyone change their sexuality,” Kadence hisses, finally piping up. “We’re all born that way. Lady Gaga had a whole song about it. Or have you been so deep in the closet you didn’t hear it?”
Ah. So Kadence knows Logan well enough to realize he’s in desperate, toxic denial. I suppose he maybe didn’t want to risk outing Logan against his will, so that’s why we never discussed it. Still, I feel a little hurt. My son and I have been drifting apart for years, but I still love him. And Kadence…
Well, I certainly care for him a lot.
Alot.
The idea that they know each other is perturbing. But seeing the rage coming from Logan right now—not to mention the fear and hurt from Kadence—is far from ideal.
It’s hard not to feel vindicated by Logan’s reaction to Kadence’s words about people not being able to choose their sexuality. He’s clearly furious at me for my deception or betrayal or whatever he views it as. But I can’t imagine how he’s feeling about himself. His internalized homophobia is worse than I imagined, or so it seems.
I’m trying to be generous toward my soon-to-be ex-wife. But in that moment, a wave of furious anger crashes over me. This is her fault—hers and her whole prejudiced family. My son would never be this messed up if it wasn’t for them.
But he might not be this bad if I’d fought harder for him as well. I suppose I just didn’t think it would be much of an issue for him until it was obviously too late. He never should have been fed these damaging ideas, either way.
Logan doesn’t seem to hear Kadence’s words of wisdom, sadly. He’s too busy laughing. It gets so loud it begins to feel like hysteria. Concerned, I reach out for him, but he shoots backward like my touch would burn him. When he looks at me, all mirth is gone.
“He picked you up on purpose to fuck with me, you know that, right?”
Coldness prickles my flesh, but I merely raise my eyebrows at him before glancing at Kadence.
