Page 36 of Make Believe
“Is everything all right?” I ask, rubbing my thumbs against his shoulders through the robe.
He blinks at me. “Hm?”
I lick my lips and study his face. “Did you need to safeword back then?” I kick myself. We talked about non-verbal signals, but I did tell him he had to be quiet. Wasthata step too far?
Before I can spiral, he vehemently shakes his head. “What? No? Rafferty, that was seriously hot.”
I exhale and nod. “Okay, good. But…is there something else?”
He nibbles his lower lip and looks away from me. So that’s a yes. But before I can probe him further, he turns back to me with that dazzling smile of his. “I’m just tuckered out from all this incredible sex,” he says, fluttering his long lashes at me. “A quiet self-care night sounds divine, actually.”
I’m not sure I entirely believe him. However, I don’t really want to prod too hard against whatever his sore spot is.
After all, there are things I’m not admitting to him, let alone myself.
“You go get comfortable,” I say, rubbing his arms.
I can’t stop myself from reaching up and playing with one of his curls, casually touching his face as I do so. I love that I get to do that still. I love that he’s still here.
“I still have some work to finish off, but then I can perhaps make us some pasta.”
He nods. “I am very here for carbohydrates,” he says solemnly. “Especially if they’re covered in cream or cheese or both.”
I laugh, feeling a bit lighter. “Carbonara it is, then,” I say.
I send him on his way, then head to my bedroom to freshen up and pull on some sweats of my own, also keen for comfort. My eyes drift to look at my bed as I change. The bed I share witha wife I haven’t loved for years and probably never even loved in the first place.
The past three mornings I’ve woken up wishing Kadence was beside me.Missinghim almost, even though he’s never even set foot in this room.
What’s going through his head? Is he having thoughts like that? I know we made our agreement pretty damn clear, but I can’t help but wonder…I can’t help butyearnfor a little more.
Maybe a lot more.
It’s a phase. It’ll pass. I’m just mad with lust and the energy of a new infatuation. The novelty will wear off soon enough, and I’ll be extremely grateful that I didn’t do anything drastic like burn down my life for him.
For the next week—couple of weeks—couple of months—who knows?—the point is that we can indulge in this bubble. It’s a fantasy that will no doubt stay with me for the rest of my days. I’ll always look back on my summer fling with the beautiful boy who made me lose my senses.
For now, he’s mine to play with as I please. To tend to as I wish. My doll isn’t just here for me to fuck. He’s a living, breathing pet for me to dote on. He’s not going to fight me when I want to fuss over him and spoil him. In fact, he’s lapping up every moment of it.
Everybody wins. Nobody gets hurt. Charleen will never have to know, and actually, I’m sure she’ll be grateful when I return to my public husbandly duties with a renewed enthusiasm come the fall. She’ll have no idea that she’ll be indebted to a kinky young man, but I’ll know.
I’ll always know. I’ll never forget.
Shaking my head, I pull my old, faded Harvard hoodie on and refuse to dwell on the matter any longer tonight. This is why I asked Kadence to stay on, why I’m paying him. The only deadline here is when I realize the tryst has reached its naturalconclusion. Or when Charleen announces she’s coming home. There’s no point in dwelling on how I’ll feel when Kadence leaves my life for good, not when he’s here right now.
I’ve got time to make the most of him.
And if tonight that’s playing make believe as a regular couple just having dinner and watching TV or reading books together, then that’s what we’ll do.
Because I’m Daddy, and I can pander to whatever whims I might have, even vanilla ones.
If I want to imagine just for one evening what life might be like if Kadence and I were actually dating…well, that’s between me, myself, and I. No one else ever needs to know.
Not even Kadence.
The next couple of days bleed into each other. Kadence and I fall into something of a routine. We don’t risk another escapade during any of my meetings, but we squeeze in plenty of time for fun activities nonetheless. He’s always beautiful for me, and I enjoy fussing over him.
But I know he’s not telling me everything, and whatever it is, it’s simmering just below the surface.
