Page 75 of Flight of Fate

Apparently, lying to myself is something I can do without combusting into dust.

“You thinking about her again?”Kaira prompts through the mind link she’s reestablished. It’s a strange feeling, having her in my head without Ayna nearby, not wrong, but strangely intimate in a way I haven’t even experienced with my cousin whom I’ve trusted for millennia. Rather than like an invasion of my thoughts, her presence is oddly comforting because this conversation won’t be disturbing the winter morning layering the world with silence.

“I try not to.”Truth. And not even one twisted to make it sound acceptable.“We have other things to deal with.”When Kaira doesn’t respond, I slow my pace so she catches up with me.“Your sister didn’t strike this deal for us to sit in a corner and whine. She bought us freedom so we can do something about this war.”Stop Erina. Save Askarea and Cezux. And if we’re lucky… If we’re lucky, we’ll win against Erina’s armies and face Ephegos again one day. And then, I’ll be ready.

“Ready for what?”

I wasn’t aware I’d allowed my thoughts to slip through the link, so I tighten the shield protecting my mind, allowing only the thoughts consciously directed at her to pass through the connection.

“To kill Ephegos.”

Kaira’s responding silence allows for me to direct my mind toward the tasks at hand, my attention returning to the tracks marking our path. None of them are fresh, which means that atleast no one snuck up to the house during the night to spy on us. Unless, of course, it was Crows, and they flew in and out in their bird form. The unease in my stomach reminds me the drug is still circulating in my blood. If I could shift into my crow form, I’d cover more ground in a shorter period of time. I could scout ahead while Kaira follows an extrapolated route toward the location where Silas and Herinor must have crashed.

“If my powers keep recovering at this rate, I’ll be able to siphon at least small amounts of magic soon.” Kaira tears me from my thoughts, her voice remaining firmly in my head.

Nodding my agreement, I let my eyes adjust to the half-light between the trees as we step into the forest.“They must have used a relatively small dosage if it’s fading this fast.”A small mercy.

Kaira’s thought bolts into my mind, full of doubt.“Do you think something is wrong with the drug? Did they change it? Or do they want us in good enough shape to fight?”

It makes an odd lot of sense that they’d want us able to defend ourselves just enough to squash our spirits alongside our bodies. Its own sort of torture. Shaking my head at Kaira, I reason,“Perhaps it’s the improved version of the drug that’s less aggressive in its side effects. Maybe they got the dosage wrong, who knows with those bastards.”I force a tiny grin.“I can already sense a ghost of my own powers, and I’m not feeling nauseous at all. If we’re lucky, this—”I pat the sword strapped to my hip—“won’t be the only thing to rely on if we run into any problems.”I purposefully leave out what sorts of problems those might be—Crows, Flames, human soldiers, or all of them.

Of course, Kaira understands anyway.“Realistically, Ephegos took Ayna far away so we can’t try anything.”

“He knows I would never be stupid enough to follow them.”The words hurt like a betrayal of their own as they slide off my tongue, and trust Kaira to know.

“You’re not giving up on her, Myron. You won’t ever give up on her because that’s not who you are. Even if you know you can’t save her right now, it doesn’t mean you’ll ever stop looking for a way to get her back. You didn’t give up when you were still under Vala’s curse, and you won’t give up now.”

Forcing a smile, I pick up pace, following the scent of blood and scorched leather to the clearing of doom where all our fates changed not even a day ago. Kaira is right that I won’t ever give up on my mate, but she’s wrong about the rest: I had given up on breaking the curse before the moment Ayna came into my life. I’d resigned myself to spending all of eternity as a cursed monster unworthy of love or freedom, and I can sense that creature bucking and thrashing inside me now as I think of what succumbing to hope will do to me. That it would be so much easier to shut down all emotions and become the heartless, vile monster once more.

As if in answer, darkness shades my vision, and the skin around my eyes tingles. Catching up with me once more, Kaira eyes me from the side, a deep frown furrowing her brow.

“You know you’ll need to talk to someone about this at some point.”Pulling a hand from her cloak, she gestures at my face.

“There is nothing to talk about.”

An eye roll followed by a huff of fogging air is all the response I get, and the gesture reminds me of Ayna so much I immediately feel guilty.

My mate hasn’t confronted me about the monster pushing to the surface at every other occasion, and I’ve gladly avoided thinking about the meaning of it because I couldn’t handle any more bad news. But this isn’t Ayna, and whatever this magic inside of me is, it won’t change anything about the situation, so I gather my courage and face the part-Flame still frowning at me.

“It’s been happening since Erina had the mate mark burned out of Ayna’s shoulder,”I admit, eyes on the path ahead insteadof her reaction.“I’m not sure what it means or where it comes from, but it’s not the usual power of Crows.”

“You’re not the usual Crow,”Kaira notes, a warmth in her voice making me turn my head after all to find her smiling.

“What’s so funny?”

She shakes her head.“By falling in love with you, Ayna really signed up for an eternity of interesting turns.”

Raising a brow in question, I stop at the edge of the clearing, trying not to notice Ayna’s scent clinging to the frosty ground.

“She fell in love with a cursed king, and since then, she’s been kidnapped, twice, she’s been drugged and tortured, locked into her bird form by the gods who should have been supporting her. Don’t forget becoming immortal.”

“I wouldn’t call thatinteresting,”I point out, scanning the treeline across the clearing for signs of enemies.

Nothing.

“What would you call it, King of Crows?”Kaira’s tone is patronizing, like she knows something I don’t and she can’t wait to rub it in my face.

With a shrug, I start walking, waving her along.“We should focus on finding Herinor and Silas instead of musing about the miserable consequences of Ayna’s gracious choices.”What I don’t say is that sometimes I wonder if Ayna would have been better off hating me after all, to die from the effects of the curse and leave us Crows locked in our misery. She’d never have suffered Ephegos’s vengeance or Erina’s desire for her bloodline.

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