Page 95 of In the Light of Sin

Chapter 23: Joslyn

“Tonight, we’re going to try somethin’ different.”

Different could be good or bad. It depended on what mood Sarge was in. He began to walk closer to me, forcing me to step back until my knees hit the edge of his bed. He brought his hands to my cheeks, his fingers pushing my hair behind my ears, making me shiver as the cool air made contact with them.

“No hearing aids,” he told me, causing me to panic slightly. I didn’t like wearing them, but they were still a comfort for me to wear. He saw my panic, shushing my nerves. “Just me, you, and your senses.”

“I don’t…” I gulped, feeling flustered. I wasn’t sure if I could let go of my one sense for the night, even for him. “I don’t like how vulnerable I am without my hearing aids—“

“I don’t care if you can’t hear me,” his rough words cut me off, hands gripping my biceps roughly enough to leave bruises. I looked up at him, his hood hiding his beautiful face from me as he tried to hold back his hair-trigger with anger. “I just want you to see yourself like I do. Like you’re the breath in my fuckin’ lungs. Like you’re everything I’ve fuckin’ prayed for.”

My breath hitched, and a cry halted in my throat, almost suffocating me. I was never anyone’s first choice, let alone someone’s prayer. I was just Joslyn, someone looked down on by others for a disability beyond my control, a pushover, and a past alcohol addiction.

But to Sarge, I was everything.

His words left me speechless, but I needed to be closer. My hands went into the darkness veiled around his face, feeling grounded by his scarred skin underneath my touch. His breath shuddered, hands circling around my wrists to hold them in place. “I want your other senses heightened.”

Oh. That’s why he wanted me to take them out. My face flamed with an array of emotions. Embarrassment, uncertainty… lust. I threw my trust blindly at people, which always turned out badly for me. What if, just once, I threw caution to the wind, and it turned into something that would become a treasured memory instead of something I had to heal from?

My fingers cupped his cheeks, standing on my tiptoes to get as close to his face as possible before whispering, “I want you to replace their touch with yours.”

“I’m the only one allowed to touch you,” he growled, dropping his hold on my wrists as he gripped my hips, the fabric of my pants bunching in his fists as he pulled my front flush with his. My hands slid behind his neck, pushing his hood down, showing me his heterochromia eyes. The pale one unfocused, his brown one fierce as it looked at me in determination. “Anyone else who does is gonna regret it.”

I grinned at him, eyes narrowed playfully as my hands slipped from his neck to his chest. Rubbing up and down, loving the way his chest vibrated against my touch. “What’re you gonna do to them?”

His voice lowered, huskier with lust. “You gettin’ wet thinkin’ ‘bout what I’d do to someone who touched you?” My teeth sank into my lower lip, eyes hooding more. I didn’t have to tell him in words. He knew I was. A gasp escaped when a hand snaked between my legs, rubbing up and down my covered slit. “Yeah, you’re gettin’ drenched at me thinkin’ I’d rip men apart for hurtin’ you.”

He applied more pressure in his motions, a ragged breath leaving my lips as I held onto his hoodie to keep myself upright and not buckled onto his floor. “Watching you bang that one guy against the brick wall at the party because he touched me was hot.”

“Yeah?” His hand left my core, almost making me whine until it dipped into the waistband of my pants, grabbing a handful of my ass instead. “Nothin’ compared to what I’m gonna do to ya.” He brushed my hair behind my ear with his thumb. I shivered. He rarely ever touched me with his left hand, embarrassed by the missing half of the appendage. But it never bothered me that his hand was deformed. “Take your hearin’ aids out.”

I didn’t fight him this time. Reaching up and plucking them out, carefully placing them on the bedside before straightening. I felt uneasy, fear spreading through my nerves at not recognizing Sarge’s words but trusting him enough to take care of me. I took two deep, calming breaths as he took a step back. He tapped his lips, my eyes drawn to them.“Undress.”

I swallowed my nerves. He told me he was the only one allowed to undress me, but now he was giving me the power. I grabbed the hem of my shirt, lifting it slowly as his eyes trailed my movement. I threw the garment on the floor, his eyes lingered on my fuller chest. I palmed my stomach, dragging my hand into my waistband. My thumbs dipped beneath the band before I turned. My front hunched forward as I pushed the material of my leggings down my waist, giving him a good few of my ass that he’s been obsessed with touching.

Sarge moved fast and before I could stand straight, his hands grabbed my hips forcing me to face him. He palmed on the back of my thighs, picking my body up, and tossing me on the bed. My throat worked past the knot as I leaned up on my forearms to watch his next move, my working senses on high alert.

He unzipped his hoodie, my eyes trailing the motion. He’s never undressed for me, and now he was giving me a whole show of it. My thighs rubbed together, trying to appease the ache between them, but it was only getting worse as he unhooked the zipper from the chain, revealing his chest to me for the first time. His right side was smooth, sunkissed skin, a small ruffle of chest hair, and abs I wanted to scrape with my fingernails.

The left side was vastly different. The skin was angry and rough, and there wasn’t an inch left unbothered. My eyes trailed from his waist, landing at the area above his heart, my body tensing, frozen. My stare refused to leave the spot above his heart.

A letter J was tattooed above the rough skin. The ink was in jagged cursive. I’m sure getting a level finish on bumpy skin was impossible. Behind the J was an uneven sun, as imperfect as I was but still standing on its own. I didn’t notice when he moved, his knee landing on the bed as he leaned over me. My eyes were too transfixed on his new ink. He grabbed my hand, pushing my palm against the raised, bumpy skin. His hand went to his lips, tapping until I looked at them.“Just like it’ll always be me, it will always be you.”

My breath caught in my throat. Did I read his lips right? I didn’t have time to think as he used my monetary shock to flip my body over. My stomach was pressed against the plush comforter, my body tense with unknown anticipation. I was letting go, trusting Sarge to take care of me. Looking back to see what he was doing was tempting, but the unknown was thrilling me. I couldn’t hear him move. I wouldn’t know he was here unless he was touching me. Which he wasn’t… it was cold without his touch.

I hissed, my body trembling as he pressed ice-cold liquid against me. The cool liquid fell down the curve of my spine, pooling in the crevice of the small of my back. I relished the contrast of the warm room and the icy water trailing down my skin.

His tongue came in contact with where the water droplet ended. I inhaled sharply, holding my breath as I felt him drag his hot tongue up the sleeted swill he put on my back. The rough pads of his fingers trailed where the water was evaporating, causing goosebumps to swell on my skin.

I hissed as he pressed another ice cube against my partially numb skin. It felt enhanced, only focusing on trusting his movements instead of coming undone at his dirty words. I felt everythingmore.He started to move the ice cube, melting it against my skin. It was hard to focus on what he was tracing, but I swear I felt him draw an M.

His hand dragged along my spine. Drawing a straight line with an exaggerated dot.I.He moved down more, a straight line followed by a right diagonal line, and straight back up.N.On the dip of my spine, I felt a straight line with three dashes.E.

I gasped.Mine.

The frigid moisture was pooling, the heat he was making me feel being sucked into those trails of water on my back. I closed my eyes, trying to keep my body warm. That was until his rough lips went to the dip in my back, kissing the liquid away. His lips didn’t stop there. He kissed, bit, and soothed the area with his tongue until he stopped between my shoulder blades. His tongue overlayed the letters before I felt his lips suck up the excess water.

I buried my face in the blanket, fisting the covers as his mouth trailed to his last design on my shoulder blade. I hold my breath, his mouth opening wide, replacing the chilly liquid on my shoulder with his scorching lips.

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