Page 105 of In the Light of Sin

“Because they said it was the safest place for them.” Her breathing was heavy, trying to control the pain Prez was causing her. He was damn near ripping the strands of her hair out of her head. “A place where it would be too obvious for people to think of!”

He hated that answer. I could tell he wanted to shake the information out of her, torture her to see if she really knew a damn thing, but just like me, he thought she was tellin’ the truth for once in her life. He growled, frustrated as he threw her, her head bouncing off the ground, her eyes giving a dazed look before Prez stood up to full height and looked at me. “Kill her. I’m going to get some of the other brothers to load them in the ovens.”

His footsteps didn’t drown out her whimpers as she crunched into herself. She was shaking from fear, unintelligible things escaping her mouth. I did recognize one word she said, and it was the wrong fuckin’ one. “Joslyn.”

Her even uttering her sister’s name pissed me off. “You don’t deserve to say her fuckin’ name,” I growled. Remembering all the shit Joslyn told me her sister did to her. Throwing her rapist in her face that day at the mall. Deserting her, knowing that there were people wanting to torture her for their own twisted amusement. She didn’t give a flyin’ fuck about her sister, yet here she was sayin’ her name like she was her mercy.

Nothing was going to save Jordyn. Not even Joslyn. Her fate was sealed. She’d be nothing but a pile of forgotten ash soon enough. I looked down at her pathetic form, arms around her knees as she was sobbing my girl’s name like a prayer on her lips. It was tempting to leave her alone, make her feel the pain she made Joslyn feel, but while she was still breathin’, I had some things to ask her.

“If you didn’t care about her, then why did you take her place in the Bloods?” It was a question weighing on my mind. Joslyn told me her sister used to give a damn about her, but it all changed the night their parents died.

She wasn’t answering me, too busy trying to plead to save her own skin. That wasn’t gonna fly with me as I bent down, my hand wrapping around the entirety of her bicep, pulling her into a sitting position. She began to freak out, trying to get herself out of my grip, but she was not getting away from me. Whether she was ready or not, she was going to face the truth for the first time in nine years.

Her breathing was ragged, her eyes glossy. She was on the verge of a panic attack, breathing in through her nose and out her mouth to calm herself down. It was odd to see. This woman looked exactly like Joslyn, just thinner, with tract marks and gray-toned skin. My girl swore she never used the needle, just needing alcohol to block out everything around her. It was hard to stomach that she looked identical to how lifeless her sister looked even though she was still breathing.

Her head dipped, and shame filled her voice as she whispered. “… Because I couldn’t protect her.”

Did she know what her sister went through when she was resting in the room next door? “From what?”

“Douglas.” The glossiness of her eyes overflowed. “I didn’t know… I promise I didn’t know what he was doing to her until her addiction spiraled out of control.”

“Did you not hear her screams?” The anger I was feeling projected my voice to be more demonic than man. I felt like I was on fire for the second time in my life. “Did you not hear her cry out for fuckin’ help when he was raping her?”

“I didn’t.” She sounded so ashamed of herself. “I didn’t stay there. I moved in with a friend.”

“And left Joslyn behind?” I could snap this bitch’s neck without any effort. My hands were twitching to take her final breath. “Why the fuck would you do that to your own sister?”

“I didn’t want to be there with them!” Her voice was hoarse as she stood up to me, still on the ground where she belonged. She was trying to muster up any excuse she could find to save herself. “I lost my parents too.”

She did. There was no denying her world stopped turning that day, but it didn’t fall off its axis like Joslyn’s did. “Your sister lost more than just her parents.” My footsteps echoed as I approached her. She stopped crying for a moment, horror at what I could do to her, want to do to her, shown in her eyes. “She lost her innocence. She lost the only life that barely accepted her.” I crouched down, elbows resting on my knees as I made sure she was looking in the direction of my face. She wouldn’t see the man behind the darkness, not unless I decided to slice that throat of hers. “She lost her sister.”

She choked on a sob, slamming her eyes shut and teeth chattering together in an attempt to collect herself. “I know.” Her admittance shocked me. “Joslyn won’t tell anyone, but after our parents died, we barely spoke. That night, when we were dropped off at Brian’s house, I dipped. The social worker never checked in on us. Brian was collecting checks and pocketing all of the money for himself. He didn’t care about our well-being. When she dropped out of school, I didn’t see her for over three years.”

“It could’ve been me.” That ‘what if’ weighed heavy on her. She looked vulnerable, bruises and dried blood covering her with clothes that barely fit her too-thin frame. New tears slid down her ruined makeup. “When I saw her again…” A hiccup as she tried to compose herself. “She didn’t even know who I was… hell, she didn’t even know who she was.” I didn’t want to picture her strung out, giving her body out to fund her addiction. “She was so thin. Her eyes were gaunt…” She couldn’t look at me as she whispered, “She didn’t look like my sister anymore.”

Keep your shit together.I repeated in my head, hands twitching the more she talked about Joslyn’s past life and how no one was there to save her from herself. Jordyn wasn’t the one to put the bottle to her sister’s lips. That was Joslyn’s decision. But to make someone suffer for a decision they never asked you to after years of addiction, abuse, and vulnerability? That was like giving someone a life preserver only to tie a rope and anchor around their ankle instead. Taking them back down to the bottom they tried so hard to crawl out of.

“I’m tired. I’ve held all this pain inside for years… all the beatings. All the times I… let them do whatever they wanted to me.” She let out a shaky exhale, not able to face me now, as she let out a whispered admittance. “God’s punishing me for leaving Joslyn behind.”

“You deserve it.” She was definitely getting her comeuppance. My hand wrapped around her throat, squeezing hard enough to scare her but not enough to choke her. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t take your worthless life.”

Her devastated green eyes looked at me. My heartbeat slowed as I felt my hand slacking pressure, picturing a drunken Joslyn in this same position and not her heroin-addict sister. She was like this in the throes of her addiction, down on her luck and begging for her life, using her body to get her another chance. Her eyes glanced as my hand dropped, but she knew it wasn’t because of her. I watched her throat bob, gaining the courage to speak. “I gave up my life so Joslyn didn’t lose hers.”

“And yet you’re the one here in chains,” I reminded her as if she couldn’t feel the shackles containing her from a life full of her vices. “Try again.”

She eyed me, racking her brain for something—anything that would spare her life. I couldn’t think of one goddamn thing she could offer me to make me think her breath was warranted.

“I know where Douglas is.”

My other hand grabbed the fistful of her already torn shirt, red blurring my vision. Images of that fucker hurting my girl for years and no one giving a fuck about it to send me on a murder spree with her being the first victim of the rampage. “You better tell me where he is.”

She opened her mouth to tell me when the door was kicked open. I turned to look at who it was, my calm rage making my voice burn as I spoke to the intruder. “What the fuck are you doin’?” I asked as Hex opened the door. Freshly clean from the blood that was plastered on his clothes and skin. He had bandages and disinfectant on his hands as he walked right past me. Was he going to clean up her wounds? She didn’t deserve it. She deserved to fucking hurt.

“Move.” I refused, instead tightening my grip on her throat and cutting off her airway. I knew she would have bruises on her throat, not different than any other injury that was on the rest of her body. Hex’s eyes narrowed on my hand around her throat. “I said move.”

I stood, dragging her up with me as her short nails did their best to claw my hands away. I didn’t even feel it. Her nails were brittle from the strain she’d put her body through the years. She was hurting herself more than she was hurting me. “What if I don’t?”

His eyes trailed from the way she was struggling around my hand to the veil I kept in front of my face. Hex was a smart man; he found ways to blackmail you into leaving him be or you doin’ him a favor when he couldn’t be bothered. He was a calculated person, always doin’ somethin’ for a reason and not just for the fuck of it. He walked towards me, his eyes showing no emotion as he tried to stand toe to toe with me. He was a few inches shorter than me and had lithe muscles compared to my bulging ones. I couldn’t think of one damn thing he had on me to make me let go of Jordyn’s throat.

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