Page 71 of In the Light of Sin

She was my person.

But now, she’s my downfall.

Sarge was my redemption.

His faceless form popped into my mind. How rough he could be. His sweetness in his own way. I could understand him better than myself sometimes; he was an enigma with jagged pieces I was trying to fit with my own.

Could broken pieces even make a complete puzzle?

“I’d never betray you, Darrell.” He stood there staring into my eyes, probably seeing if I was telling the truth. I was. I didn’t want to give up on Jordyn, but I couldn’t keep hurting the people choosing me because of her. I’ve suffered enough. I was punishing myself for the actions of others. I’d always hold guilt for Jordyn doing what she did for me, but I was choosing me—No. “I’m choosing Sarge.”

He cocked his head. “Does Sarge even want you?”

I looked down at my feet, my insecurity showing. Truthfully, I didn’t know if he wanted me anything other than a release. Emotionally, he was closed off. He was like me, thinking he was undeserving of simple pleasures in life because of past sins. There were little moments where I felt a crack in that armor disguised as his hood. Every time he touched me, his hands lingered on me longer. He’s let me leave my hands on him longer than when we first started… whatever this is.

We were broken down, but we would rise.

Together.

I craned my neck up at the President of the Unforgiven Souls, a new spark in my eyes as I answered him confidently, “Yes.”

He stood there, his head tilted to his right and his dark eyes considering my words. I knew he wasn’t a man swayed by simple words and actions, but I hoped my conviction was enough for him to tell me where Sarge was. Even if he didn’t, I would hunt the streets of Diamond Ridge until I found him.

I don’t know if it was the confidence, but Darrell let out a sigh, turning away from me. My heart sank, thinking he wasn’t going to tell me. I opened my mouth to let him know what I was going to do when he shut me up with a single word. “Hellbound.”

My eyebrows furrowed. I felt like he gave in a bit too easily, concerning how determined he was. Was this his peace offering? “What made you tell me?”

“Don’t think this makes me trust you,” he snapped, his head turned, and his eyes watched me from the side. His eyes drifted to the floor, looking exhausted before steeling himself again. He was silent for a moment. “He’s gonna need someone soon.”

His message was ominous. I knew he wasn’t doing this out of the kindness of his heart but doing it for a brother he cared about deeply, whether he admitted it or not. My brain would try to figure out what that split-second look of defeat meant later. I didn’t have time to think about it right now as I headed out the back door of the club. I opened the gate and ran through the path, trying to push what happened the last time I made this trek out of my mind.

My breathing was heavy and ragged. I was not used to running a distance like this before. My hands were on my knees, trying to catch my breath and prepare for whatever I was going to find in there. I hadn’t been here since the night I met Sarge. It was a place I didn’t want to think about ever again, but I would face the demons lingering behind this closed door if it meant Sarge was the one waiting for me at the end.

I shakily reached for the doorknob, pulled the door open, and held my breath as I opened Hellbound’s front door. The creaking made my panic heighten at the endless possibilities of what I was going to see. Blood everywhere? Scattered, lifeless bodies?

A lifeless Sarge?

I shook my head. He wouldn’t do that, he promised.

So did your Dad.

I had to busy my mind. Standing here with thoughts I couldn’t change no matter how much I wanted to wasn’t doing anything but keeping me from Sarge longer. I drew in a breath, holding it as I turned the doorknob, pushing the door before I lost the nerve.

Nothing.

I looked around the living room, the not fond memories of the party that brought the Souls into our lives rushing back. The pictures were off the wall, and the furniture was removed. The carpet ripped up and turned into an easy-to-clean laminate floor. The fragrance of bleach was overpowering as I used Sarge’s sleeve to cover my nose, my ears faintly picking something up.

I shut the door behind me, stepping farther into the common area. It looked so… empty. It looked vastly different than a few months ago. Did they do that on purpose for a ruse? Was this the true representation of Hellbound, a place where your screams and blood colored the walls, and when they were done, it was just bleached and wiped away like your carbon footprint was erased?

Crossing my arms, I rub my biceps up and down to try to soothe my nerves. I heard a faint noise that had me rooted in place. The knot in my throat was almost suffocating, fear instilling in every fiber of my being, making it impossible to move, to speak. There was a chance it was Sarge… but there was also a chance that this was just a setup by Darrell to get rid of me.

I didn’t have any weapons, no means to protect myself. All I had was the stupid trust I had in people who always got me into messes that other people had to fix for me. Not today. I would deal with whatever consequence Darrell threw me into.

Shakingly, I took a step. Then another, until I found a rhythm. It felt like my body was moving on autopilot, my ears faintly hearing slapping sounds and grunts. I paled as I stepped into the hallway, the noises growing louder. I couldn’t tell which direction they were coming from, but if the noises were growing louder, I figured I was heading in the right direction. With a deep breath, I jumped before I lost the nerve.

My breath hitched with what I was witnessing.

There Sarge was, beating on something–not something… someone. A very dead someone with dislocated arms above their head, their wrists shackled connected to a hook that was suspended from the ceiling. I don’t think he heard me as he continued wailing on the naked man. Sarge was in the zone, and the only thing worthy of his attention was the corpse in front of him.

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