Page 64 of In the Light of Sin

A sense we all took for granted was the thing she wanted the most in this world. I didn’t know how the hell she was still smiling despite everything life threw at her. The awe in my gut I tried to squash when I looked at her refused to stay down.

I was amazed by Joslyn. Her strength to keep going, to keep smiling despite everything that ails her. She accommodated everyone else, but when was the last time someone accommodated her? The way I snapped at her the other day and the way I had to drag my head out of my ass because if something did happen, I wanted to be there. Pissed at her or not.

And, of course, she apologized to me for it all. Like it was all her fault, like she thought everything in her sister’s life was.

She was not responsible for other people’s choices.

“Sarge?” I almost didn’t respond. I wanted her to call me Darin. I liked it more when she called me by my real name, but I’d never admit the way it rolled off her tongue made my cock twitch. I knew she was only calling me by my real name to not raise questions that saying my road name would.

“Yeah?” When she didn’t reply, I turned to her. She was looking at the ground like she was debating on even asking me. I stepped towards her, making her neck crane to look up at me. Her face was serene, trying to prepare for the rejection she had already convinced herself I would give.

“Can your voice be the first one I hear when I’m pain free?”

A knot formed in my throat, not expecting that question from her. She was looking up at me, a hopeful smile on her lips, but her emerald eyes told me she was expecting me to say no. I wasn’t a warm man. I cared about very little and loved even less. Times like this, I was thankful I hid my face so she couldn’t see just how much her question affected me.

My palms felt balmy as I constricted my fingers to a fist, welcoming the stinging pain digging my nails into my palm would bring, but it didn’t take away the fire that heated my skin.Fuck.This woman.

I’d do any-fucking-thing for her.

“Yeah.” I was surprised my voice didn’t come out strained the way it felt like a rock was in my throat. But that was all that she needed. One simple confirmation turned that hope into enlightenment, a shine to her eyes that wasn’t there before. I couldn’t take the emotion that was threatening to burst out of my chest. It was uncomfortable, unfamiliar. I didn’t know how to handle this.

I turned away from her, throwing my leg over my bike, looking at my disfigured hand as it rested on the bars when I felt Joslyn’s weight behind me. I was missing a few fingers up to the knuckles, my mind racing, wondering if I could even do what was in the back of my mind. She wrapped her hands around my waist, interlocking her ten fully intact fingers, resting them on my stomach, and giving me a tap, letting me know she was ready to go. My mind was already racing to a safe place. A place of carnage. A place where there were high risks and death around the corner.

A place where I didn’t just agree to do the hardest mission of my life.

We raced off to the clubhouse, ignoring the way Joslyn touched me a bit more than before…

And the fact that I let her.

* * *

“We got surveillance cameras all ‘round her parents’ place.”

Even if he couldn’t see me, my eyes were narrowed dangerously at Prez.

“If you think I’m fuckin’ with ya, you’re wrong.” He didn’t look surprised. I could hold a damn grudge, and everyone in here knew that. But he did do something I didn’t expect.

He smirked. His eyes narrowed, but not with warning… he was challenging me. “You called me by my name.”

That was a sin for him. While we were in the club, we weren’t considered people; we were nothing more than men atoning for a past we’d give it all to change. “You fucked with the wrong girl.”

“Gonna let a woman come between you and your brothers?”

“Not my brothers.You.”

“Iamyour brother.”

“Are you?” My head titled, studying him. Ever since he found Nyla, he began to change. I figured it was to get these fuckers off the streets quicker so they didn’t come after his daughter, but he had no problem endangering people she cared about. It’s only gotten worse since I’ve found the Chasm blueprints in Joslyn’s place. He was ramping up finding any information on the Flock that we could. And being more of a dick about it. Being short and more cross with us than usual. I wasn’t the only brother in here that was pissed by his new style of leadership. It was like he was a different fucking man than the one who’d led us all these years.

“There’s somethin’ fuckin’ wrong with you if you’re pickin’ a girl who used to be involved with our enemies over us.” This dumb motherfucker–

“If you don’t trust her, why do you allow her to come here?” Grim’s voice cut through curiously. He leaned back in his chair, eyes full of contempt. He was tired of his father-in-law’s bullshit too. Glad I wasn’t the only one seeing Prez losing his damn mind.

“Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.” What a stupid, cliche thing to say. “Got eyes on her at all times. She’s not allowed to be anywhere by herself.”

“What if she’s wearing a wire?” I felt my body heat at Tyrant’s question. Why the fuck are the assholes actin’ like this towards her all of a sudden? Prez may not have been kind to her face, but Tyrant was.

His head twisted to mine, anger boiling in my gut as he smirked. “Tell us, Sarge. You’re the one fuckin’ her. Is she wearing a wire?”

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