Page 63 of In the Light of Sin

So she couldn’t even remember. “You should be replacing them every three to seven years, depending on the usage.”

“They’ve hurt before, though.” When was the last time she came to the doctor? Shouldn’t this be in her medical chart already? “Ever since I can remember. I’ve always felt pain with them.”

“Sounds like you were never properly measured before, and even if you were, you grow so much in a short time through adolescence that parents have difficulty getting new hearing aids every few years. They’re not cheap.” She shook her head. The fact that she’s spent so many years in pain because it took so much money to do such a simple thing like hearing pisses me off. “Can you hear anything without them?”

“I can recognize loud vibrating sounds. I can’t recognize where they’re coming from, but I can feel them.”

“Okay,” He rubbed his chin. “What caused you to be deaf?”

“I had meningitis when I was an infant.” I didn’t know that. I never asked her what caused her to lose her hearing. Guess it didn’t matter to me; it was just a part of who she was, and I accepted it. The reason didn’t matter.

“That would do it. In any case, I hate that you’ve been in pain for this long, but we’ll fix that.” He sounded confident when he was explaining before his voice dropped to a rushed mumble that I barely heard, “Feel like I’d be killed if I don’t.” Damn right, he would. I’d cut off his ears and give them to Joslyn; they would get better use that way.

“I’m starting to not recognize sounds with them in,” she confessed, making my body go rigid. She did most of the talking between us while I just listened, besides a few grunts. Most of my talking was when we were fucking. Her hands were in her lap, shoulders sunk as she whispered, “It’s scaring me.”

The doctor had a sympathetic look on his face. “We can always get you properly fitted for other hearing aids. But, there is an option besides standard hearing aids.”

Joslyn perked up, the feeling of hope making her emerald eyes shine. “There is?”

“It’s called a cochlear implant.” He rolled over to a drawer, pulling out a plastic sheet. It had a diagram of an ear and a bunch of medical jargon I didn’t understand. “It requires surgery, but you won’t need hearing aids ever again.”

He handed it to Joslyn, and I walked over and peeked at it. It looked like a circle diagonally above the ear with a clip-looking thing connected to a wire that went to something on the shell of her ear. “Is it even comfortable?”

“I’ve only gotten discomfort complaints if it’s not programmed right. But we can always adjust that. It does come with risks like everything else, but this lasts forever. I will warn you it is an expensive alternative. Hearing aids are much more affordable.”

The color drained from her already pale skin, her hopes of being rid of something she hated potentially out of reach. “How much?”

He glanced at me before turning back to her, like he was worried about crushing her dreams with something like finances. “It runs between fifty and one hundred thousand—”

Her face paled, handing the sheet back to him with a crestfallen face shooting me in the fucking gut. “I can’t afford that.”

A look of sympathy shot on his face. “Insurance covers some of it.”

She didn’t have any insurance since Claudia was paying her under the table. Her shoulders slumped as she looked at her lap. My heart was cracking looking at her like this. She tried to form a shell around herself because she was unable to shake off the disappointment of having something she’d always longed for dangled in front of her, only for it to be ripped away.

I couldn’t fucking take it. “I’ll pay.”

Her spine straightened, and she shot her eyes at me before shaking her head. “It’s way too much.”

“It’s whatever you want, babe,” I told her seriously. The hope she had earlier returned slightly. “There’s nothing about you that needs fixing. You don’t want to wear hearing aids? Don’t have to. Don’t want the surgery? Don’t have to get it. It won’t change anything between us.”

“I want it.” Her words were meek as she blew out a breath, trying to process what I told her. “But Darin—”

“Don’t argue with me.” I cut her off, looking at the doc. The only one I trusted was Hex. The only reason I didn’t ask him was because I knew he didn’t do a nice thing for anyone. If it wasn’t saving someone’s life or taking someone’s life, he was a big metaphorical ‘fuck you, go to medical school and learn how to do it yourself.’ But since I was left with this short balding fuck, I at least had to ask some questions. My eyes narrowed, watching him tremble under the pressure I was putting on him. “Do you even know what you’re doin’?”

“Sir, I’m a doctor.”

“Degrees don’t mean you’re smart. Just means you know how to study.”

“I assure you, I’ve done many successful surgeries. She’ll be in good hands.” He pulled something out of his pocket, scribbling on it before handing it to her. I snorted as his hands were still shaking. Pussy. “Here’s the date for your surgery consultation. It’s not the day it will be performed, but the date will be discussed there. Do you have any questions for me?”

She shook her head, eyes trained on the card he handed her. Her mind was consumed with an unreachable dream becoming a reality. “If not, I’ll see you then.”

He exited the room. It took a bit for Joslyn to regain herself as we made our way out to my bike. Her shocked face morphed into a relieved one. I’ve never seen that smile before.

It was the woman who Joslyn was hiding behind her fake ones.

“Is this really happening?” I almost missed her words, memorized by the way her smile lit up her entire face. The happiness she was feeling revolved around her like the sun itself. There was no mistaking the amazement in her voice, like a lifetime of suffering was coming to an unexpected end. Her eyes were closed, the wind pushing her blonde hair to the right as she deeply inhaled the fresh air, already picturing how this change would improve her life. “I don’t know what it feels like for something so simple like hearing to be painless.”

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