Page 59 of In the Light of Sin

“Went home this morning and found the window smashed,” Jordyn casually said as she pulled a shirt off the rack. “Know anything about it?”

Yes.“No. I haven’t been there since—”

“Since the night you came wired to the party?” She cut me off, throwing another shirt on her forearm. “Yeah, they weren’t too happy when I told them about that. Lucky that big boy was with you, or you’d be dead instead of deaf.” The way she said that so calmly sent chills up my spine. I know she was trying to get me to bite, to confess what the Souls did, but I never would. “Shame he isn’t here now. Where is he?”

“Close by,” I quipped tightly, hoping she believed me. Truth is, I don’t think Sarge even knew I was here. I’d walked from the clubhouse to the mall, usually a twenty-minute walk, but I made it a thirty to prolong it. I didn’t know if Sarge was close. Usually, I felt his presence even when I couldn’t see him. It always made me feel warm. But I felt cold and lonely without the comfort of him watching out for me.

“Would love to see him,” she purred, making my stomach churn and my temper flare. I didn’t want Jordyn to be anywhere near Sarge. I knew how convincing she could be. “Mysterious men always do it so much better, don’t they?” I froze, my reaction being just what she wanted. “After you two fucked in your old bedroom, you forgot to clean up after yourselves.”

I began to sweat despite the AC blasting in the small store. Grabbing another black long-sleeved top, she threw it on her forearm before turning her head to look at me. Her smirk… she knew what she was doing. Sarge and I were caught red-handed. “I won’t tell Lincoln… if you share your man, that is.”

My mind blanked. No. I’d do anything else before I would willingly throw Sarge at her. He was off limits, someone I would fight tooth and nail before she dug her dirty claws into him. She laughed, seeing how that fabricated statement affected me. She discovered another weak spot of mine, and she was going to capitalize on it.

“You’ve never been shy about sharing before.” There was a burn behind my eyes, and water pooled in my mouth as I felt sick. They sharedme. Ididn’t want to be shared. “I’ve had all the men that fucked you. All their whispers, their tongues, their cocks,” she moaned like one was pleasuring her right now, the nausea within me almost making me embarrass myself in this store. “Don’t you remember how good it felt?”

No. No, I didn’t, and I didn’t want to. I drank as heavily as I did for a reason… so I didn’t remember their touch. My chest began to grow heavy, a night from nine years ago invading my mind, making me grab onto a sales rack. Jordyn laughed as she saw how she was throwing me off kilter.

“But no man does it like Douglas, do they?”

I couldn’t help myself. I blanched right there on the floor. I didn’t want to remember him. Not his words, his face, his name. “Please stop.” I could barely make my plea above a whisper, but she took my discomfort as encouragement. She knew. She fucking knew what happened, and she was doing this. I looked up at her, my eyes shining with tears about to fall while her eyes were laughing at how much she was hurting me with a simple name.

“He came by the other month to a party,” she continued, loving how painful this was for me. “He took me to a back room and fucked me. He asked me about you when we were done.” My heart was about to fly out of my chest.Please, just stop beating. It would be less painful than this.“I just had to tell him how you couldn’t forget him. I got his phone number.” She dug in her pocket, pouring salt into the wound. “I think you should give him a call.”

My eyes were trained on that crinkled piece of paper. Was she shaking it, or was that me? That paper was poison to me. Her cackling at my pain was something I would never forget. She knew how I felt about Douglas. She knew what he did to me.

She knew he was the catalyst for our fucked up lives.

“Pathetic, scared of a piece of blank fuckin’ paper.” She crushed it in her hand, dropping it to the ground. “Stay the fuck away from mom and dad’s house. I was a nice sister and covered for you and that ugly bastard you’re fucking. Said some rival gang vandalized the window. But next time? I won’t be.”

I didn’t do anything but stare at the paper on the ground, arms still wrapped around myself.

“Callee, Tirani!” Jordyn’s happy shout echoed as she approached two very thin and pale-looking women. They were both taller than us but had the same track marks that Jordyn did.

The tall redhead looked between Jordyn and me, “Did you multiply, or am I still high?”

Jordyn snorted. “This is my twin sister, Joslyn.”

The other one blinked. “I thought you said your sister was dead.”

That was an arrow straight to the heart, pinned only by Jordyn’s scathing look. “She’s dead to me.”

My lungs deflated, and I felt like I was choking. I refused to fall to the ground despite how weak my legs felt.

Jordyn held out her hand to me. “Card?” I just handed her my entire purse, not having the energy to dig through it myself. “You’re a sweetheart, sis.”

They walked away from me. I stood there with my thoughts, unable to collect myself. Why? Why did she do that? How could she be so cruel? I remember how she let her heart out after the party at Hellbound we all attended. Her words were true, but everyone that wasn’t me called her out on her shit.

I always told myself they didn’t understand. If they were in my shoes, they’d do exactly what I was.

Blaming myself, trying to make up for what I’d caused by giving myself away.

But how could I save my sister if I couldn’t even save myself?

The Souls were men joined together by the sins they committed. They felt like they didn’t have another option, but instead of self-pity and letting their sins control them, they were being proactive. Saving people from making the same mistakes they did.

It was time I started doing the same.

It’s been around twenty minutes since Jordyn and her friends walked off. I stood alone by a rack of clothes, pretending to be looking for a new outfit as my head peeked around the small shop. You could see every inch of the store, and I was the only customer here. I frowned, gut sinking knowing what she’d done.

---