Page 119 of In the Light of Sin

“Words mean nothing.” Darrell’s lesson was instilled into my brain, and he was so, so right. Especially when that person spewing words has screwed you over to the point you don’t know where you ended or began. “You have to show me, Jordyn.”

“I will.” Her promise was a quivering whisper. “I’ll show you and the Souls that addicts can redeem themselves.”

“Of course they can.” I was thinking of Mitchell, Darrell, and myself. We all struggled with our vices. Even the slightest thing could send us into a downward spiral, but we had love and support, an ex-addicts greatest weapon. Even if sometimes it wasn’t enough. “Being an addict doesn’t automatically label you as a bad person, Jordyn. Your actions and the way you treat others do. And you haven’t shown even a sliver that you can be trustworthy.”

I could tell my words resonated with her, hitting her in a part she didn’t even know existed. I was finally giving up on her when she was willing to meet me halfway. “I know. I’m going to earn back your trust, I promise.”

I didn’t respond. I didn’t believe her. She gave me no reason to.

“About Douglas—”

“Sarge!” I shouted in a panic, twisting the blanket on my lap. I didn’t want to hear his name and as promised, my big grumpy protector came in with one single call. The door slammed against the wall, Sarge rushed in between Jordyn and I. Sarge kicked the chair over, Jordyn yelping as her head hit the floor with a hiss.

“Told you what I’d fuckin’ do if you hurt her—”

“And I told you what I would do if you hurther.” Hex hissed as he ran into the room. His black dress pants and a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up on his forearms. He walked towards us, calm with an edge of aggressiveness. “You don’t have control over this situation, Sarge.”

My heart stilled. I knew what he meant. He would undo my surgery. “Choosin’ this bitch over us?”

“I don’t think there’s going to be an us soon.” My breath hitched, I looked at Sarge, and his eyes narrowed at him. What was he talking about?

Sarge slumped slightly but was more casual with his accusatory words. “You think so too, huh.”

Hex didn’t respond as he went to Jordyn, offering her his hand but she sneered at him standing up albeit wobbly. Hex’s hand hovered close to her back, making sure she didn’t fall. Jordyn’s scowl remained on her face as she stepped away from Hex. Why was he being kind to her? He’s never been kind to another soul that I’ve seen.

I looked at my sister. “How’re you getting to rehab?”

Hex turned to her. “We leave soon, Jordyn.”

“She’s supposed to be watched.” I was still focused on Hex being the one taking Jordyn to rehab.

Hex’s eyes darkened as they focused on Sarge. “Darrelldoesn’t have my loyalty anymore.”

That was the first time I heard a brother say Darrell’s first name. What was going on here?

Jordyn ignored the tension, nodding at what Hex told her. She looked slightly desperate as she asked me, “Do you… do you think I could call you later to tell you how it went?”

It was hard to tell after years of manipulation if she was being genuine. And I hated, even more, the guilt hitting my gut when her face fell and my head shook. “I need time, Jordyn.”

“I understand. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready, Joslyn.” She let out a shaky breath, trying her best to recompose herself. She looked away from me, choking on a sob. “I love you, Jos.”

She ran out of the room, Hex close behind her. Now I was the one trying to keep my composure. Jordyn telling me she loved me for the first time since our parents died stirring my heart and making me question my bottom line with her. Instead, I tried to take my mind off everything. “Sarge?” He didn’t acknowledge me, but I asked anyway, “What did Hex mean when he said there wasn’t going to be an us soon?”

It took him a few moments for him to face me again, his head shaking from side to side. “Don’t worry about it.”

Didn’t he know that I was going to hyper-fixate on it now? “But—“

He plopped down in his chair, his forehead pressing against mine. “I love you. No matter what happens with the Souls, I’d choose you.”

Listening to his baritone tell me the words I always wanted to hear did something to me. I tried my best not to get emotional, him telling me he loved me in sign language was a sweet gesture but hearing it in his deep rasp… I wouldn’t ever tire of it. I chose to ignore the last part, focusing on the love he dedicated to me. My forehead pressed harder against his, a grin on my lips as I looked into his eyes. “Say it again.”

“Not until you say it back.” What a stubborn man.

I pouted, his eyes flickering to the way my bottom lip jutted out. “I like you.”

He growled. “You more than fucking like me. Say. It. Joslyn.”

I laughed, the sound as light as I felt right now in his arms. “I didn’t take you as the type to beg a woman half your size for them to say I love you.”

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