Page 19 of Anteros' Return

For the second time in one day, the door was closed on my face. But not before I saw the hurt on hers.

Fuck!

Hours ticked by, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I didn’t know why but I sat on the bench on the decking beside her front door.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?!

I pulled out my phone, dialling Daniel’s number.

“You alright, mate?”

“Liam is playing tomorrow.” I breathed out, still trying to work out what was going on in my head.

“Well, shit, he apologised?”

“He did. It was mainly for his mum, though, but we’ll take the wins where we can.” A small smile played on my lips.

“Ah, Emily. He’d do anything for her.” I could hear Daniel mirroring my smile over the phone.

“I could see that. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know so it wasn't a surprise in the morning.”

“Cheers, mate. Wait, where are you?” He asked.

“Just out.” Looking towards Emily’s front door, my heart tightened.

“Do you need a ride home?” He offered. “I can drive to where you are and get you.”

“No, I’m good. I’ll see you in the morning.” I jabbed the end call button, not wanting him to insist. I just needed this time to think about my next move.

After another hour of sitting in the cold, I heard the front door open as Emily stepped outside, not noticing me for the first few seconds. I breathed in her familiar scent, every memory and emotion we shared flooding back in. They hung suspended in the air between us.

“Em?” I whispered, catching her off guard.

“When did you get back?” She questioned, her brows furrowing as she spoke.

“I never left. I-I couldn’t.”

I stood, towering over her as I had always done while I leaned on my crutches for support.

I couldn’t tell if she was pissed off with me, but right then, I didn’t care. She’d already shut me out twice, and I wasn’t going to let it happen again.

“Beckett, Liam has only just gone to sleep.” Her words were short and to the point, sounding irritated over the fact that I was still there. She glanced over her shoulder towards the closed door.

“But he’s asleep, so that means we can talk?”

She sighed. “What’s there to talk about?”

“I want answers, Em.” I ran my hand through my hair, unsure of where this conversation was going or if, in fact, it would go anywhere. “I fucking need them.”

Her slender fingers tightened on the door handle before pushing it open just enough to invite me inside.

She led me through to the kitchen. It was as I imagined it would be. All warm tones and baking equipment. The dim lighting casted long shadows across the countertops. The lighthad a golden glow, almost amber, as it touched the edges of everything from the worn oak cabinets to her ‘best mummy’ mug sitting by the sink.

I glanced over at the fridge, seeing Liam’s life in all its vibrant chaos being held together with magnets. A few certificates stared back at me: MVP of the Junior Football League, Player of the Year, Champion of the Year Three Math Olympics. The awards were as endless as the photos. One of Liam and Emily caught my eye. He was holding up a pumpkin they’d carved together. Emily looked happy, her smile wider than ever as she wrapped her arms around our son.

It’s all there. Baking, football, and family. It’s everything we planned together, only I wasn’t a part of it.

“So, what is it that you think you need answers to?” Her voice warmed and all that remained was an eerie calmness that settled over me.

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